• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

I'm going nuts making eye contact

EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
1,299
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I have been diagnosed with ocd regarding my inability to make eye contact. I'm really keen to fix the problem, it's almost like a nervous tick I have and I can tell it makes people edgy when talking to them. Was wondering if anyone else had the same problem. I'm on escalopram which seems to be helping a bit. The psychologist wants to try hypnosis to fix the problem anyone tried this?
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
1,377
Location
Lost
the less you worry or think about making eye contact, the more natural it becomes
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,246
Can you use the trick of focusing at something just over their left or right shoulder? That way your eyes are in the right general direction without the pressure of eye contact?
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
1,299
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Agree, I'm over thinking th whole thing but can't seem to break free of this problem. I have a tendency to look down when talking to people, makes me seem strange. I'll try like you say staying in the general direction. Thanks guys
 
K

kayla77

New member
Joined
May 27, 2019
Messages
1
Location
NYC
I have been going thru this since my early 20"s, and I am still going thru it, and I am 68 yrs old. I don't consider it as an OCD. It's more like to me that when looking someone straight in the eye is like peering into their soul, and their peering into my soul, I read this somewhere along time ago. I'm going to try what Girl Interupted suggested, to focus on their shoulder....
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
1,299
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Sorry to here you're having trouble too @kayla77. I'm working through it and have improved a lot since taking escitalopram. Yeah that is something I don't like about eye contact too, but it is so important people take it for granted. All the best to you
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,582
Location
USA
I rarely hold eye contact for an entire conversation. I “stare off into space” so I can focus on what is being said and what I’m saying. Never realized I did it until my bf told me. I was like wait it’d be normal to just like stare at your face when we talk? What? Haha.
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
715
Location
UK, London
Making eye contact with random people in the street is a quick way to get into a fight. Especially if the other person has been drinking.
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
Eye contact is something I've kind of struggled with before, mainly due to issues I had at school. Basically, if you even looked in the general direction of another girl in the changing rooms for PE, you'd have a ton of homophobic slurs thrown your way. Although I'm not gay, the whole looking-thing definitely affected me badly and I do struggle sometimes to maintain eye contact in a conversation. Sometimes it can depend on how well I know the person as well. I often have the fear that if I make eye contact with someone, they might act aggressively towards me. But then I stop and think to myself that it's clearly them who has the problem, not me. If someone looked my way in public and smiled at me I wouldn't see it as weird or challenging in any way, I'd see it as a nice thing. It's good that you're keen to fixing the problem and recognising that it's a problem, that's the first step towards recovery. I'd say just start out small, only try to make eye contact for a short amount of time, and also try not to think about it too much and eventually you'll grow accustomed to it. I hope this helps in some way xx
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
1,299
Location
Melbourne, Australia
My problem has come back big time, don't know what I'm going to do. Feel like a freak act like a freak, it sucks. Feel like people are going to think i am some kind of pervert, just cant help looking at people inappropriately. I hate my self so much. I wish it would go away, drinking heavily again just to get some relief. Seeing the shrink next week hope he can up the esctialopram to 60mg if my heart checks out
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,582
Location
USA
My problem has come back big time, don't know what I'm going to do. Feel like a freak act like a freak, it sucks. Feel like people are going to think i am some kind of pervert, just cant help looking at people inappropriately. I hate my self so much. I wish it would go away, drinking heavily again just to get some relief. Seeing the shrink next week hope he can up the esctialopram to 60mg if my heart checks out
I think anyone who was trying really hard not to do that would cause themselves too. You’re not a pervert, you’re just an over thinker.
 
I

indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
509
Location
UK
What is it you think will happen if you give eye contact? Do you mean eye contact without speaking? like if you glance at someone in a shop? When in conversation we exchange eye contact as a way of checking response, tats normal.
Do you feel you will make them look at you and you dont want that or that you will seem confrontational?
 
Top