I'm giving up

[shell]

I'm suffering really bad depression. I didn't get up till 11.00. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Everything is an effort I can't cope. I'm taking my meds not drinking yet I still feel so bad. I can't communicate with my kids I'm bad tempered angry and struggling like mad all I can do is sit and cry. I'm taking seroquel 300mg 200mg at night and 100mg in the morning I'm sure the drug is doing nothing. I forced myself to do some house work and took the dog out with my daughter on her bike but still my head won't stop racing im sick of this .
I hate this illness I hope my husband comes home soon I'm scared and alone and not coping My head doesn't feel right . If he was not here I'm so worried the kids would be taken off me , it sounds bad but I find them such hard work at the moment I just want things to get better

 

[emski]

Shell I'm sorry you're hvaing such a bad time at the moment. When is it you go for your next review? Sounds like the seroquel isn't doing much else for you apart from making you sedated.

Stay and talk here if you like until your hubby gets home

 

[suki1066]

shell , dont give up love it will pass, i know its hard but tomorrow may be the day it eases a bit, do you have a nurse? if so can you ring her and talk to her and tell her how you feel. its imortant to keep your dr's aware of how the meds are affecting you as each person is diffrent.
keep talking on here for advice, sending you best wishes xx

 

[jema88]

I'm suffering really bad depression. I didn't get up till 11.00. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Everything is an effort I can't cope. I'm taking my meds not drinking yet I still feel so bad. I can't communicate with my kids I'm bad tempered angry and struggling like mad all I can do is sit and cry. I'm taking seroquel 300mg 200mg at night and 100mg in the morning I'm sure the drug is doing nothing. I forced myself to do some house work and took the dog out with my daughter on her bike but still my head won't stop racing im sick of this .
I hate this illness I hope my husband comes home soon I'm scared and alone and not coping My head doesn't feel right . If he was not here I'm so worried the kids would be taken off me , it sounds bad but I find them such hard work at the moment I just want things to get better

i9 dont get up till 11 most days shell its just the way i am from the meds and the meds make me better so thats the way it must be.. there are times when i cant communicate with my boy.. infact i cant even communicate anyone some days and im really proud that you got out the house today shell well done.. and your kids wouldnt be taken off you if your husband left im a sinle mum and i have my son... anyway... yous husbands not even going to leave you so try and remain positive my friend.. i know we talk through private message but just wanted to comment on this t.c xxx

 

[shell]

Thanks

Just wanted to say thanks for your replies its so nice knowing people understand and care. I managed to make tea wash up and go for a walk. I have my next appointment on Fri he is so reluctant to give me an antidepressant I feel I need one the seroquel is just good for making me sleep it does nothing else I'm sick of him telling me to up the dose he doesn't want me going high I would much rather feel happy and have energy than feel like this sorry. I'm in a foul mood probably pmt as well. All I have done is scream and shout at everyone now I feel bad . I hope tomorrow is going to be better xxxx

 

[jema88]

Just wanted to say thanks for your replies its so nice knowing people understand and care. I managed to make tea wash up and go for a walk. I have my next appointment on Fri he is so reluctant to give me an antidepressant I feel I need one the seroquel is just good for making me sleep it does nothing else I'm sick of him telling me to up the dose he doesn't want me going high I would much rather feel happy and have energy than feel like this sorry. I'm in a foul mood probably pmt as well. All I have done is scream and shout at everyone now I feel bad . I hope tomorrow is going to be better xxxx

Shell, tomorrow will be better xxx

 

[nattyone]

Shell I'm sure my dr told me that a higher dose of seroquel is less sedating than a lower one. God only knows how that works but personally it did seem to be the case. Maybe take all your seroquel at nite. See if that helps u be a bit less groggy in the morning. It does take a lot to get used to it. Ima single parent too and doing a bad job of it. I want to win the lottery so I can provide my kids with stuff they won't be getting cos I can't work and can't take them anywhere.

 

[shell]

Your not a bad parent its not your fault you can't work. I think you are doing a wonderful job just being a single parent I could never cope on my own, I'm so lucky I have my husband to help out otherwise I don't know where I would be. Are you on seroquel ?? I have taken 100mg again this morning and feel bloody awful , I hate this med . Just got another sick note from the doctors for 3 weeks god knows when I will be fit enough to return to work . I hope you are feeling ok today

 

[nattyone]

Yeah I'm
on seroquel. I take mine at nite tho he wanted me to take it in the morning but I need to be able to get the kids to school so that just wont work.

I can't cope without my seroquel so even tho the groggy kills me it's still better than the anxiety and bad stuff that was worse pre seroquel.

 

[shell]

how much are you on ?? I don't think I can take it in the morning any more its to sedating I feel awful now. Do you drive ? are you ok driving if you have taken it the night before ?? . Are you suffering mainly from depression of mania ? Sorry for all the questions I just wondered x

 

[nattyone]

When I started I was on either 600 or 300 mg at nite I can't rember I think 600 I had to reduce the dose when my partner left. As for me it's not safe to be the only adult in the house and be that incapacitated.

I don't drive. Ev en if I could drive I wouldn't. I can't imagine somone being a safe driver if they felt this groggy.

The dr said mainly mania but I rapid cycle and have mixed episodes so for me it's actually really hard to tell what mood I'm in until I'm in the thick of it. At the moment it's a depression. Yet I feel there is a bit of agitation with it . In fact going by what I've been told this is a mixed episode because I'm depressed but want to do stuff but can't settle my head to do things properly.

 

[shell]

I'm really deppressed am doing things but my head won't settle racing thoughts all the time its horrible . I just rang the doc for another 3 weeks off work. Am I having a mixed episode ?? I love being high full of energy and feeling great I hate feeling down and depressed have you anything planned for today ? I think your great coping on your own how old are u kids ??

 

[nattyone]

What you describe is what I get and the dr told me it was a mixed episode. If I rember rightly a full on depressed episode is where there is no hope and no effort towards anything either mentally or physically. Everything slows down . I think a mixed episode is where you have something that is active and something that is depressed at the same time.

I find the whole thing really hard to understand . Being irritable and agitated are apparantly signs of mania but you can be sad and feeling hopeless at the same time as being snappy ad having a spinning head.
The best thing is to ask your dr to describe it to you as basically the whole lot seems to be able to be jumbled together.

I always tol my drs I wasn't depressed , I was anxious and frustrated. Because to me depression was where u just sat and cried all day and had no appetite and no desires. Apparantly that's not true depression is much wider than that.

I have stuff to do today. I've put my guinie pigs on the lawn hoovered , walked my little dog to the pet shop. Bought some postcards so I can advertise all these baby guinie pigs .

Later I have to do the washing up and laundry then I have to write out all the postcards to put in shop windows. Then I have to walk into town to hand them to each shop with a notice board.
Then come back get the third dog and walk him into the village to put cards up in those shops.

I really aught to do some proper housework . I need a bit of hypomania to tackle the little mountains of junk and paperwork I have building at various points in the house.

My kids are 11 and 13

Right now I'm having a sit down as ie just taken my lunchtime depakote.

 

[nattyone]

I just had a look at the clinical criteria for a major depressive episode , a manic episode, and a hypomanic episode.

I don't fit the criteria for any of them right now.

 

[shell]

hiya

I put the washing out took the dog for a walk made lunch did the washing up. Mopped and hoovered downstairs and upstairs. I feel really bad because I find it hard to talk to my kids I just keep snapping at them. Earlier my daughter said she wished her dad was home he is "normal", That made me feel awful i just feel like ending it all when she says stuff like that . Like I asked for this illness like a I wake up everyday feeling like this , I'm sat here crying now earlier I nearly bit my husbands head off because he asked me to do some carrotts with tea when he rang. Even though I'm depressed I'm really trying my best with house work etc.
Got the hairdressers Thursday and I'm dreading it I can't stand talking to people or going out. My daughter badly needs her hair doing. My kids are 10 and 9 . I also have someone from the recovery team coming. I don't think the seroquel is working have you put on weight with it ? How much are u on ? x