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I'm getting hopeless, do I have OCD?

F

foreigngirl

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Dec 3, 2014
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Chicago Suburbs
For three years now I have been taking medication for my severe ADHD.
(My first year of high school I would stay up crying that I couldn't focus. I had Cs and Ds and now I have almost straight A's and take AP and honors classes, so I plan on continuing my medication)

I have always done repetitive self harm and bit my nails but my ADHD would distract me, now I find myself zoning out for up to 3 hours picking my split ends even if all my classmates at staring at me like I'm crazy, then it progresses to more serious harm to myself. The same domino effect happens in front of my mirror when I start with a blackhead or pimple I continue harming at any tiny imperfections on my entire body and face for hours, its almost like an out of body experience like it numbs my mind but afterwards I feel very depressed, tired, numb, sore, hopeless and out of control. For a few years I have tried countless things to prevent this like taping down the light switch in my bath room or doing intense cardio workouts so that I get a similar mindless high. I am embarrassed to wear tank tops because the top part of my arms are literally covered in scar tissue. I am not self harming. I feel alone because nobody understands, It feels like an addiction... is this OCD?
 
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H

Helena1

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sounds like sh to me. a definition of self harm is the act of deliberately causing harm to oneself. which sounds to me what you are doing. i dont know much about ocd though.

why do you tape down the light switch in the bathroom? oh i got it i think. so you cant see your imperfection in the bathroom mirror?
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya, I am sorry, but those details do come under self harm, so I have had to delete them. I have tried to keep the integrity of the post though.

No-one can diagnose on a forum, but repetitive self harm in such little ways, is still self harm honey. But its a symptom of what is underneath. Have you ever investigated getting any therapy honey to find out why you do this? ADHD should stop you from trying to work things out for yourself.
 
M

midnightpanda

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Joined
Nov 4, 2014
Messages
19
Have you looked into derotillomania? Its a subtype on the OCD spectrum.
My sister had a similar issue. She locked herself in the bathroom for HOURS repetitively self harming.
Only recently did she admit this is what she was doing all those years.
Like the above poster said, none of us can diagnose you.
But i strongly suggest looking up dermotillomania (not sure on the spelling)
If you feel it fits you should set up an appointment with a doctor.
My sisters obsession went on for years and she suffered in silence but she destroyed her face in the process.
It took a long time for it to repair itself and you wouldnt want the same happening to you.
 
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