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im getting closer to the end of me

C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
Death is always on my mind. I need to do something. End of story.
 
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dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

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Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
hey ...my friend.

I am here if you want to chat about how you feel.

I feel sad about you and am here

James

if you don't reply ?

I will talk to you anyway
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...okidoke ...

hey friend.

perhaps my random dyslexia interfered with your name here?..

and now I can recognise that it's quite clever and very cool.

I grew up with cookie monster.

I never once suspected that he was sad.!

this just furthers your individuality and your personal battle with something that was never considered to be!

...to be something!...

you might want to join in?...

it's all up to you...we can chat about silly stuff or really important stuff
 
C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
...okidoke ...

hey friend.

perhaps my random dyslexia interfered with your name here?..

and now I can recognise that it's quite clever and very cool.

I grew up with cookie monster.

I never once suspected that he was sad.!

this just furthers your individuality and your personal battle with something that was never considered to be!

...to be something!...

you might want to join in?...

it's all up to you...we can chat about silly stuff or really important stuff
Cooky monster is my nick name. And I'm sad all the time. I don't always show it though
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
Do you feel then that you bottle things up? Nothing wrong with it, I do it all the time.

Is it like you put up a shield because really you don't want others to see how deep down you actually feel?

(sorry for all the questions, bad habit)
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...thanks so much for showing yourself.

...which you did very gracefully and definitely.

thankyou....

so?...

hmm...I bet you can describe in an awesome way ... why you are so sad...

I will tell you why I want to know ....immediately after you help me to understand your sadness...
and both might happen at the same time


I care


..:dance::whistle::clap:
 
Last edited:
C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
Do you feel then that you bottle things up? Nothing wrong with it, I do it all the time.

Is it like you put up a shield because really you don't want others to see how deep down you actually feel?

(sorry for all the questions, bad habit)
I feel weak and stupid. Yea. Sometimes I can't put up that shield. That take smile. I'm sad because of my ex. She tells me no ones wants to get with her and some guy puton one of her post that he wants to go out with her. And when I trip about it she acts like I'm tripping over nothing.
 
C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
...thanks so much for showing yourself.

...which you did very gracefully and definitely.

thankyou....

so?...

hmm...I bet you can describe in an awesome way ... why you are so sad...

I will tell you why I want to know ....immediately after you help me to understand your sadness...
and both might happen at the same time


I care


..:dance::whistle::clap:
No. I can't describe in an awesome way all this. I can't do anything awesome. I feel like I should stop gloving and art in everyday I do it. Its all pointless and stupid. I've gotten nowhere with it when all this time I thought I could be something. I was told "god" put us all here for a reason. I feel I wasn't supposed to be here now I'm paying the congruences for it.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
..you demonstrate strength in both 'sharing this'...and also 'coping with this'.

you are much stronger than you realise!

you maybe only a tiny bit through this terrible discomfort and I expect you might be less!

she expects that you will 'trip out!'...

and she recollects this to cover her own insecurities..

I must make good guesses now...

you want her, you miss her, you don't know how to erase these horrible questions that she might likely not answer to your satisfaction.

being in love is in your favour...

to validate our illnesses we must feel overwhelming love.

I am sorry mate....that it's so hard right now...

you have proven the ability to love... when life is unlovable.

you will grow and be stronger because of this
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
I feel weak and stupid. Yea. Sometimes I can't put up that shield. That take smile. I'm sad because of my ex. She tells me no ones wants to get with her and some guy puton one of her post that he wants to go out with her. And when I trip about it she acts like I'm tripping over nothing.
Break ups are horrible aren't they.

It seems that you still really have feelings for her which will make things even harder, with all the emotions attached which yeah, will make you feel so rubbish.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...so let me get this straight.

this entire world activity and beyond this world and some intergalactic collision of supreme meanings...

have chosen you... yourself and only yourself... to demonstrate this universal hatred onto you and only you...

and until this intergalactic life force of pure misery has located you and decided that you must be the one and only human to wear the guilt and shame of all mankind?

I don't buy that.

and though I like you...

I will not satisfy your self destruction with poorly applied logic.

being upset and lonely is no excuse to die.

if you disagree?...then there is nothing I can do to stop you
 
C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
We've been together 3 times in 2 years. She's awesome. Amazing. I fucked our relationship up all 3 times. I don't know why she still loves me. I get worse and worse each time we break up. Last time we broke up I experimented with heroin and method. This time time that we broke up I've been doing both since. Im doing it to help with the pain. When I'm high I'm not crying from the thoughts all day. Its not only her that's hurts me. Everything from the past to the present. School,"family", etc... I just can't do it anymore. My times running out.
 
C

cookysasadmonster

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
106
Location
colorado
...so let me get this straight.

this entire world activity and beyond this world and some intergalactic collision of supreme meanings...

have chosen you... yourself and only yourself... to demonstrate this universal hatred onto you and only you...

and until this intergalactic life force of pure misery has located you and decided that you must be the one and only human to wear the guilt and shame of all mankind?

I don't buy that.

and though I like you...

I will not satisfy your self destruction with poorly applied logic.

being upset and lonely is no excuse to die.

if you disagree?...then there is nothing I can do to stop you
I've been depressed since I was about 11 with no help and no one to talk to till the second time I got with her. That's when I felt I had someone to talk to about EVERYTHING
 
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