P
Purple_haze
New member
Hey you guys!!
After long 3 years in relationship and always alone in everything, talking with no one about it. So i find it easier to write down here and maybe get some advice too.
I'm 22 yrs old boy, my orientation is gay..
I have meet this one man 3 years ago when i was 19. He is Turkish and he was in time 32.
Ever since then we have been "together"
First few months of relationship was really nice, we would meet us 3 times a month because he live and work 70km from me..
Text daily and feeling really nice about each other, still!! Relationship was always super secret because he always look himself as hetero. Mostly it was sex.
But then he started to attack me so hard with jealousy attacks and saying always that I'm wh**re and always cheating on him. AND THAT WAS SIMPLY NOT TRUTH. I loved him, i always spend hours on texting and explaining myself on his angry texts..
Some times when i was alone at home he would come. And it was always only 1 night.. He always promised me so much, how we will go somewhere where no one know us and like vacation...
Because i was always saying how it would be nice to wake up for more then 1 morning always. And i have been ever since always going to him with train only for 1 night.
From so much texting and showing me love. It made me start to feel that it was all fake.
Because he never want to come to me or every weekend he have plans with friends. And 2rd year into relationship.
He went 2 times with friends and one time alone on vacation with cousin. Every time he would promise me that we would go together too.. But That never happened.
Then he told me that he is not the Man for that/ to Travel anywhere with me.
And it Made me disgusted because with his cousin he was alone in hotel 10 days and with Me. He is not the man for that.
And to say. I never wanted to call him baby in public or hold his hand. I only wanted him next to me for energy, laugh and to be more then 1 night together.
Recently he started drinking and gambling a lot.. He put his all paycheck at once for gamble. And to me daily text and promise something new.
Then there are days when he get drunk, call me and insult me with every word. Insulting my mum and speaking so dirty things about all... And then he always say me how I'm his property and after him i be ready for asylum... Then on the next day when he becomes sober he write me as I'm his favorite thing im world.
AND now. For me! It's all so much.
I feel me so trapped and can't not think of how he took by best teenage years, only always call me for sex. And i idiot who was believing all and always running..
No. Idea if it was my young stupid naive heart and always believe that it will be better. But better is not showing at end of this tunnel.
So, i don't know what to do anymore.
After long 3 years in relationship and always alone in everything, talking with no one about it. So i find it easier to write down here and maybe get some advice too.
I'm 22 yrs old boy, my orientation is gay..
I have meet this one man 3 years ago when i was 19. He is Turkish and he was in time 32.
Ever since then we have been "together"
First few months of relationship was really nice, we would meet us 3 times a month because he live and work 70km from me..
Text daily and feeling really nice about each other, still!! Relationship was always super secret because he always look himself as hetero. Mostly it was sex.
But then he started to attack me so hard with jealousy attacks and saying always that I'm wh**re and always cheating on him. AND THAT WAS SIMPLY NOT TRUTH. I loved him, i always spend hours on texting and explaining myself on his angry texts..
Some times when i was alone at home he would come. And it was always only 1 night.. He always promised me so much, how we will go somewhere where no one know us and like vacation...
Because i was always saying how it would be nice to wake up for more then 1 morning always. And i have been ever since always going to him with train only for 1 night.
From so much texting and showing me love. It made me start to feel that it was all fake.
Because he never want to come to me or every weekend he have plans with friends. And 2rd year into relationship.
He went 2 times with friends and one time alone on vacation with cousin. Every time he would promise me that we would go together too.. But That never happened.
Then he told me that he is not the Man for that/ to Travel anywhere with me.
And it Made me disgusted because with his cousin he was alone in hotel 10 days and with Me. He is not the man for that.
And to say. I never wanted to call him baby in public or hold his hand. I only wanted him next to me for energy, laugh and to be more then 1 night together.
Recently he started drinking and gambling a lot.. He put his all paycheck at once for gamble. And to me daily text and promise something new.
Then there are days when he get drunk, call me and insult me with every word. Insulting my mum and speaking so dirty things about all... And then he always say me how I'm his property and after him i be ready for asylum... Then on the next day when he becomes sober he write me as I'm his favorite thing im world.
AND now. For me! It's all so much.
I feel me so trapped and can't not think of how he took by best teenage years, only always call me for sex. And i idiot who was believing all and always running..
No. Idea if it was my young stupid naive heart and always believe that it will be better. But better is not showing at end of this tunnel.
So, i don't know what to do anymore.
