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I'm gay boy and I've been in relationship with bi man for over 3 years but constantly i live in this prison of not doing anything together

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Purple_haze

New member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Frankfurt
Hey you guys!!
After long 3 years in relationship and always alone in everything, talking with no one about it. So i find it easier to write down here and maybe get some advice too.
I'm 22 yrs old boy, my orientation is gay..
I have meet this one man 3 years ago when i was 19. He is Turkish and he was in time 32.
Ever since then we have been "together"
First few months of relationship was really nice, we would meet us 3 times a month because he live and work 70km from me..
Text daily and feeling really nice about each other, still!! Relationship was always super secret because he always look himself as hetero. Mostly it was sex.
But then he started to attack me so hard with jealousy attacks and saying always that I'm wh**re and always cheating on him. AND THAT WAS SIMPLY NOT TRUTH. I loved him, i always spend hours on texting and explaining myself on his angry texts..
Some times when i was alone at home he would come. And it was always only 1 night.. He always promised me so much, how we will go somewhere where no one know us and like vacation...
Because i was always saying how it would be nice to wake up for more then 1 morning always. And i have been ever since always going to him with train only for 1 night.
From so much texting and showing me love. It made me start to feel that it was all fake.
Because he never want to come to me or every weekend he have plans with friends. And 2rd year into relationship.
He went 2 times with friends and one time alone on vacation with cousin. Every time he would promise me that we would go together too.. But That never happened.
Then he told me that he is not the Man for that/ to Travel anywhere with me.
And it Made me disgusted because with his cousin he was alone in hotel 10 days and with Me. He is not the man for that.
And to say. I never wanted to call him baby in public or hold his hand. I only wanted him next to me for energy, laugh and to be more then 1 night together.
Recently he started drinking and gambling a lot.. He put his all paycheck at once for gamble. And to me daily text and promise something new.
Then there are days when he get drunk, call me and insult me with every word. Insulting my mum and speaking so dirty things about all... And then he always say me how I'm his property and after him i be ready for asylum... Then on the next day when he becomes sober he write me as I'm his favorite thing im world.
AND now. For me! It's all so much.
I feel me so trapped and can't not think of how he took by best teenage years, only always call me for sex. And i idiot who was believing all and always running..
No. Idea if it was my young stupid naive heart and always believe that it will be better. But better is not showing at end of this tunnel.
So, i don't know what to do anymore.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
322
Location
Scotland
This MAY have been a relationship, it certainly isn`t anymore. It`s abusive! He has obvious gambling issues, drinking issues and his own issues identifying with his sexuality.

I am right? You don`t live together? If so, good, excellent! He is referring to you as, "his property", no-one has a claim on another human being! He is rude and disrespectful, and a complete shit!

You know what you need to do, dump his ass! Block his number and move on and party!
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,516
Location
Nashua NH
These kinds of situations can be very disillusioning. Don’t blame yourself: you were the person who was lied to. I might find a good counselor you could talk with about this because the relationship went on for so long and you might have some trouble separating yourself from it and need some support.
You are in a pattern with this person that is very unhealthy but might be hard to break out of because he is so manipulative and abusive and it has gone on for so long. I would surround yourself with supports as much as possible, people who validate you and your pursuit of wellness. Then cut him off forever. If you have to tell him that you have met someone new and being with you is no longer an option. Then plan to block him completely out of your life. You chose to see the good in a person despite him showing you otherwise for s long time. That is a beautiful thing in some ways. But now you must focus on pursuing your own dreams and protecting yourself. ❤💕
 
vanish

vanish

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Forum Safety Team
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Sep 29, 2014
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The Land of Oz
I'm afraid this doesn't appear to be a relationship at all, at least not a functioning relationship. This Turkish man appears to have issues with alcohol, gambling and also his sexuality. Also, nobody is another person's "property". I find this man you speak of deplorable in his actions towards you as he's being abusive and manipulative.
You may need the support of your family and friends to break away from this 'relationship' but in the end you'll feel much better I'm sure.
Time to end it I say. :hug:
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
635
Location
Not sure
I really feel for you and you deserve so much better...dump him and find someone like yourself who wants a true and meaningful relationship. It sounds like he is using you and is a poor excuse in my opinion for a human being like this with you. He sounds unhappy himself, but it’s no excuse to treat you like he does. Life is too short to be wasting your time hoping that he will maybe come good some time. It will be very difficult at first, but in time you will feel better and you’ll be glad that you did it. Good luck! :hug:
 
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