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I'm finding it hard to cope

R

ranmi

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Mar 31, 2015
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I can't carry all these things on my own anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating underneath it all. Every decision I make is a mistake. I wish I could disappear.
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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People do care, they probably just didn't see this thread.
That was the case for me. :redface: Sorry.

Who would you like to help you?
Dr's and Nurses?
Your family?

I'm sure everything you do isn't a mistake.
It just feels like it 'cos you're in a bad situation at the moment.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i sorry you are finding it hard to cope xx please know you are not alone and i for one certainly hope you dont dissapear xx you are precious to this world xx i promise you xx
 

MarlieeB

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Hi, people do care. As Mister B said, people might of missed the thread.

Is there anything in particular which is making it hard to cope right now or is it a range of things?

Keep on talking on here.

Marliee x
 
J

johnathon84

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Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
Hi there i often feel exactly the same as yourself. Quite a lot come to think of it. There are plenty of people on here that can help you and just by looking at some threads over the past two days i have seen just how helpful people here are. There is always an understanding ear here. Are you on any sort of medication for your depression at all or see a speciailist at all?.Keep fighting the fight and evreyone is here for you.
 
R

ranmi

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Mar 31, 2015
Messages
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Thank you all for your replies. You're very kind.

I'm told by everyone that I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. I tried to end the relationship last week and my partner scared me out of it. He told me all the bad things that would happen if he left. That I wouldn't be able to survive financially, that he'd take custody if my son, ect.. But I have no family or friends to help me and I'm scared that of he does leave all of those things he said will come true. I couldn't live without my son, he's everything to me.
 
R

ranmi

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Mar 31, 2015
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I'm not on any medication because I was scared my partner would use that against me if we broke up, that he would have an excuse to say I'm mentally unstable.

I was seeing a mental health gp but I didn't think it was helping me so I stopped, but I want to try again with a different person. I think I struggled before because it was a male, I'd be more comfortable with a female.
 
J

johnathon84

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Apr 1, 2015
Messages
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Hey there Rammi as far as i know you can request a specialist of any gender as far as i know and your doctors should try and help you in the best way possible. Im sorry to hear of your situation with your relationship i have never been in an abusive relationship myself so i cannot really comment much as im unfamiliar. With your son, being his mother you have strong rights when it comes to custody for your children. I dont have children myself but i am very clued up on topics such as this. If you mention to a specialiast or GP about your situation and your nearest citizens advice bureau is also a good place to try they have a lot of information that you could find very helpful too. If there is anything i can do for you please do let me know and i wish you all the best. Best wishes.
 
R

ranmi

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Mar 31, 2015
Messages
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Thank you Johnathon.

I tried to call my doctor today but obviously it's the Easter weekend so I won't be able to see them until Tuesday.

All my fear is around my son. I don't want him to suffer. He's better off with me. His dad has never done much for him. I've taken care of him since he was born. I'm just worried I won't be able to work without family support to look after my son while I work, I doubt I'd be able to afford child care.

It's all a mess and I'm really scared of what will happen if I end the relationship. I wasn't scared before, but once I talked to him and he said all the bad things that could happen, I haven't been able to get over it. I don't know what to do.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hi Ranmi

I am sorry things are so bad at the moment.

Breaking up a relationship is always hard. The fact that you have tried to do this means your partner is aware of the situation and may even alter his opinion,once he gets used to the idea. Emotions are too high at the moment to discuss what would happen. Ideally you would eventually be able to come to an agreement about what is best for your son, and for your partner to have reasonable access.

You are very low at the moment and need support, both for the depression, and to know where you stand with regard to your son if you do break up. So Citizens Advice is a good idea.

Please take care of yourself and use the forum for support, and hopefully after the holiday you can get some help.

Best wishes, Sarah x
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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Hi Ramni,

I'm sorry that things are so hard at the moment, have you come accross Womans Aid, I'm told they are very good at supporting people in your situation. A friend of mine is in an abusive relationship and has 4 chilldren, she has been thinking of leaving for a while and has support from woman's aid and also a domestic abuse social worker and has been told that they can rehouse her and the kids at short notice, she just has to give the word. They may also be able to give you advice about finance and custody issues. I would think it unlikely that antidepressants would go against you in a custody situation, but they may put you in a stronger situation to cope with all the challenges you are facing. The fact that he has been emotionally abusive to you would likely count against him in a custody situation, as will the fact that he has not been very involved with your son. Hope things get easier soon.

PS you can find womens aid online.
 
katya

katya

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It's all a mess and I'm really scared of what will happen if I end the relationship. I wasn't scared before, but once I talked to him and he said all the bad things that could happen, I haven't been able to get over it. I don't know what to do.
You'll feel that way partly because he's making you scared. Realistically, if you do end the relationship, it will be hard for a little bit because you'd have to find your feet - but, once you did, you and your son would be in a much, much better position because you wouldn't be living with the abuse. He would be the one in a difficult position then, because he would be alone and no-one in their right mind would put up with his abuse. You must get out. It's not right for you and it's eating you alive. You have to put you and your son's wellbeing first. I know it's scary, and I don't think you should end it until you have an 'escape plan' - somewhere to go, something in stone so you're not worried about where you're going. But you cannot go on like this. I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I really wish you all the best. It's hard for you right now and you don't deserve it.
 
katya

katya

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P.S.

We do care. Please PM me if you need to talk; I'm off for two weeks, going through a bit of an abusive situation myself, and I will be here.
 
R

ranmi

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
16
Thank you all for your replies. I'm really grateful.

I'm just going to try be calm and wait until I can see my GP. jruth, I will probably message you at some point. Thank you for your support xxx
 
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