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I'm feeling fragile today, any words of advice would help me ....

  • Thread starter daydreamsandicecreams
  • Start date
daydreamsandicecreams

daydreamsandicecreams

Active member
Joined
Mar 4, 2019
Messages
34
Location
United Kingdom
Hi, everyone.
I just got home from school and I'm feeling a bit down. Today I realized that I don't actually have any friends that I can connect with, I moved to a different country to study and I feel like this has something to do with the wall between me and people, but I also feel like maybe that's just an excuse? I noticed that at school there isn't anyone that outrightly searches for me (in class for example) they say hi but then they'll just go over to the next person (someone is there actual friend), and I'm just there by myself. Social anxiety is the worst in these moments because I truly feel isolated. At work it is the same, I don't have a connection with my coworkers, I feel like they just put up with me but if they were given the opportunity to pick between me or someone else they would pick someone else. Am I just not interesting enough?? I feel like no one wants to get to know me, and if I try to get to know them it's just about them and they never ask about me, so I am trying but it weighs heavy on my heart, especially today. And in my overall life I also feel as though I don't have those kind of connections.
I want to change my life around for the better and be happy. I think maybe it's because I'm not confident? I'm not, at all, maybe working on this on my own will help me approach these situations in a different light when they do happen? I don't know, I just feel drained, and very tired now. I can literally feel the stress trapped in my neck and shoulders. Any advice would be helpful, or just words of encouragement as I feel very fragile right now, but I don't want to feel alone. x
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Hello daydreamsandicecreams
You sound very young. It is difficult at times to keep friendships going and really if you want them to keep going then you have to put some effort into them.

People are so busy no matter their age . there is so much to distract people today.

Hey btw it’s great that you are talking about this. Probably doesn’t feel great but you are realising that life sucks and most people use all kinds of things to avoid that realisation.

Now what? I hear you say…self education is what got me through what you are going through. Have a look at the Ted talks on the web that cover things like social anxiety and other what I call personal development topics.

No one in society teaches you much if anything useful regarding life skills. It doesn’t sound like its much better these days than in my day.
 
L

LeahD

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
California
Hi, everyone.
I just got home from school and I'm feeling a bit down. Today I realized that I don't actually have any friends that I can connect with, I moved to a different country to study and I feel like this has something to do with the wall between me and people, but I also feel like maybe that's just an excuse? I noticed that at school there isn't anyone that outrightly searches for me (in class for example) they say hi but then they'll just go over to the next person (someone is there actual friend), and I'm just there by myself. Social anxiety is the worst in these moments because I truly feel isolated. At work it is the same, I don't have a connection with my coworkers, I feel like they just put up with me but if they were given the opportunity to pick between me or someone else they would pick someone else. Am I just not interesting enough?? I feel like no one wants to get to know me, and if I try to get to know them it's just about them and they never ask about me, so I am trying but it weighs heavy on my heart, especially today. And in my overall life I also feel as though I don't have those kind of connections.
I want to change my life around for the better and be happy. I think maybe it's because I'm not confident? I'm not, at all, maybe working on this on my own will help me approach these situations in a different light when they do happen? I don't know, I just feel drained, and very tired now. I can literally feel the stress trapped in my neck and shoulders. Any advice would be helpful, or just words of encouragement as I feel very fragile right now, but I don't want to feel alone. x
Hello Daydreams,

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I think many people have these thoughts. My children are in middle school and doing outwardly well, yet they have these issues too. I don't think it stops when we get older either.

Try to find one person and say one "real thing" to them one day this week. Be honest. They may or may not respond well. If not, try someone else on another day. People like people who are real and honest and vulnerable, yet many of us are afraid to be this way. When I am feeling blue, if I can, I find someone I admire and give them a genuine compliment. I tell them the thing about them that I envy-- the thing about them that makes me feel badly about myself. (I don't say that part! Just the compliment). You may find that some of them are quite astonished to hear it. Guess what? They have their struggles too. Reaching out to people is a good thing and doing it in an honest way is better, but it's difficult! I hope this helps. I am sorry you feel this way, like you are invisible. I think we all have those days. Keep trying.
 
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