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I'm doomed to stay single for the rest of my life.

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
234
Location
South Korea
I wasted my 20s not achieving what I want. All gone due to my paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I want to fall in love with someone. I yearned for it for decades. Especially who likes to share hobbies with me (Anime, computers, etc.). I want to date with a girlfriend who loves cosplaying and watching anime/reading manga. I yearned for them for years, but I live in a place where this is near impossible. Even if it did, how can a spouse like that deal with family issues (such as marital problems, raising a child, etc.)? She is too darned passionate about her hobbies to have any kind of relationship. Heck, I've even heard of rumors that otaku girls have unhealthy expectations from men.

Even if my "soul mate" isn't an otaku, it'd still bring problems. I'd be worse off because with an otaku girlfriend, she might at least have fun with me. Others, meh. They might yell at me for my hobbies (anime, computers, etc.)

And what about divorce? How can I raise children alone? How can I keep up with my child support. If we split, how can our children cope with the pain?

But the bottom line is this: there is NO such thing as a person who is right for me. Lots of religious media and philosophers blabber this out. If you look for the right person, you end up in divorce. But you see, the opposite happened with my family members. They weren't right for each other and lived a broken life. I don't want that. But some say that there are methods that can turn around a wrong marriage, and it's better off than looking for the right spouse. I disagree due to what happened to my family members.

I went through environment filled with verbal abuse and I could do the same to others, and I'm afraid. Especially if my girlfriend is hot-tempered. Hotheads make me super-furious.

Thus, I'm gonna be single for a long time, I guess. And I have no ways to cope with desires to date a girl of my dreams. At least if I live alone in peace, that'd be good. However, the economy is SO screwed up that I have to stay with my parents. They took care of me through my childhood and adulthood. They are getting older, and I am still in a rut of lacking any sort of skill. I can get by with teaching English in South Korea (good money) and doing computer jobs when I go back to United States. Unfortunately, I have to take care of them. If I leave them, they might not do well (Can't tell the reasons why).

So, there's no girlfriend. Not even independence.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,243
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
It is so good of you looking after your parents, frisa :hug:

where i live theres very few who look after their parents once they left home :hug:
 
D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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1,024
why do you care about your parents? if they lived a broken life around you, as you say.
 
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frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
234
Location
South Korea
why do you care about your parents? if they lived a broken life around you, as you say.
They took care of me from childhood to adulthood. They loved me and never gave up on me. If they hated me, they would've abandoned me at birth, or else, at 18.
 
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frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
234
Location
South Korea
It is so good of you looking after your parents, frisa :hug:

where i live theres very few who look after their parents once they left home :hug:
I'm sorry that you never had any parents taking care of you. I hope you have someone who care for you in the future.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
234
Location
South Korea
They took care of me from childhood to adulthood. They loved me and never gave up on me. If they hated me, they would've abandoned me at birth, or else, at 18.
That means they love me and I love them, man.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,243
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Tigger and Willow's house UK
I'm sorry that you never had any parents taking care of you. I hope you have someone who care for you in the future.
i had my mum and do what i can for her, but my dad can go die in hell after the way he treated me and my mum and older brother and grandparents :mad:

:grouphug:
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Sheffiield
We all have our time, like actors. Some are child stars but never go any further once they reach maturity, some find their peak during their 30's, 40's or 50's and some may not reach stardom until they're much later on in life.

Just because you're single now doesn't mean you'll be single for life, your time may be just around the corner, I'm 39 and my love life ended 20 years ago when I stopped drinking alcohol so I've been single half my life but that won't mean I'll be single for the rest of it.

I may meet a nice woman who's already had kids because I'm not interested in having any of my own, who doesn't drink and enjoys the quiet life when I'm 40-50 or maybe even closer to 60. I know my time will come.

I still live at home and take care of my parents who are in their 70's now not that they need much taking care of yet, just a few things here and there.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
234
Location
South Korea
We all have our time, like actors. Some are child stars but never go any further once they reach maturity, some find their peak during their 30's, 40's or 50's and some may not reach stardom until they're much later on in life.

Just because you're single now doesn't mean you'll be single for life, your time may be just around the corner, I'm 39 and my love life ended 20 years ago when I stopped drinking alcohol so I've been single half my life but that won't mean I'll be single for the rest of it.

I may meet a nice woman who's already had kids because I'm not interested in having any of my own, who doesn't drink and enjoys the quiet life when I'm 40-50 or maybe even closer to 60. I know my time will come.

I still live at home and take care of my parents who are in their 70's now not that they need much taking care of yet, just a few things here and there.
Thank you for the excellent advice you have there! I thought I'd never hear it! But I'm scared to date due to the catastrophic consequences, mainly divorce.
 
D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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1,024
If they hated me, they would've abandoned me at birth, or else, at 18.
No, i never said that your parents hated you, stop making stuff up and just read what i have actually written.
 
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D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,024
No, i never said that your parents hated you, stop making stuff up and just read what i have actually written.
I just think you should feel free to live your own life.

there is no reason to think you wont find someone if you are determined you could find love when you least expect it. good luck
 
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N

natalie

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Aug 1, 2014
Messages
11,780
Hi Frisa

I do understand. I have mild forms of szchiophrenia and glean towards bioplar, now i never dreamt that several years and I would at this time, now have a very strong mutual admirer, and i'll suspect, that we are now just st arting out to get together, and I have known him for many many years, it's only become apparent, that I realised, that he fell very much for me and I wasn't and keeping straight and not looking for a potential for long term partner, we were introduced, many many years ago, and we are overall now in 2019, still very much linked, and as I imply, we are just starting to get together he sees me, whenever he happens to be around, throuigh his new work, droppping in on his ex old act, and we say hello. Or try to say hello, if he doesn't have his work priortiies in the way of us live at the time of his visit into the complex centre.


So, allow for sometime it will happen, and if i can quote and borrow someone's expression, you'll be holding a romance even way before you'll know it, and please remember, you have mental health issues, tred carefully, disclose anything about mentall health in the onset of the horizon of the pending relationship, because you don't want to be having relationship problems later on in the height of the relationship.

My strong mutual admirer just happens to be earning, and working hard, I have mental health issues, and communication issues, we however, feel very much for each other.


So once again, you;ll possibly will fall for someone special even way before you'll even know it however as I say, please do take extreme care, and disclose about mental health issues on the onset of pending relationship in the future.



Best Wishes.
 
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