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I'm done with this relationship!

Guy12182

Guy12182

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2018
Messages
141
Location
Upstate NY
I can not believe after 20 years of this relationship, I can honestly say I'm done! I'm done trying, caring or hoping!
This is a case where 2 people, me having mental illness and her having Lupus SLE(Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and she is in end stage renal failure on home dialysis. That's one reason why I became an EMT to help my fiance at home medically. She is getting sicker because Systemic Lupus that attacks your organs is a fatal illness. She has had this since she was 16 and now she's 51, She has been strong all her life to beat her illness so far and we always loved each other and always found our way back from relationship issues. But as an EMT, I noticed her getting sicker and now she's starting to take everything out on me.
This happens sometimes when patients get worse with their illness and fights with the people their close to, which is me, I'm living with her for 20 yrs.
It's a case where I have gotten better in my therapy in the past, the other person may not get better and make better choices by changing a few things, they continue to do the same.
She wants me out of the apt by the 3rd or 4th of next month. I have no savings, I have no car, I have mental issues, I have a cat, I can't be homeless, I have an income from Social Security Disab, It's not enough to cover rent and security and still have money for food, lights, cat food, nothing!

I'm scared, paranoid, depressed, angry, sad, feeling hopeless and worried....


 
F

Flip00008

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
11
Sorry this happened. I know the anxiety and fear that is involved with seeing a loved one sick and not being able to help. My son has a rare auto-immune disease with only 17 other known cases. To see him in some really low times was very challenging to me. Thank God that his health is very good now and we take things day by day. Have you considered doing couples counseling? I will be praying for the both of you and hope to hear from you soon!
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Paraphrasing my dad: she can want in one hand, shit in the other and see which fills up first.

You need time to make arrangements for yourself. That is going to take more than a week. It is nearly impossible on SSD income as it is.
 
Guy12182

Guy12182

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2018
Messages
141
Location
Upstate NY
Thank you for your replies.

Flip00008: There's no working this out, this is it. too much hateful things said to each other. I want to move on, it's time my friend.

and

tiltawhrl: with my given and current situation with relationship, with her name on the apartment lease and me as a live in aid (even though it is a 20 yr relationship), she can have me out anytime she wants she claims. And...there's the dr. jekel -mrs hyde personality she has, I don't know what to expect one moment from the next. For example, just today, she came up in the room Im staying til I leave, sat down next to me to talk about apartments on fb she saw.....next thing I know shes saying I'm milking my time here and hasn't searched for anything lately, when I did just yesterday and I had told her about it when I went downstairs for coffee I told her a few places I texted for applications, and it's like she has Alzheimer's or something she makes herself believe it and there's no convincing her anyway!
So, to answer your statement "I need more time" , I don't have time, it has to happen. I mean shit, I was going to take the money I get on the third of each month and fly to another state, start my life over in a big way. But I want to stay here in upstate ny and stay with the fire service, get a place to stay, save for a car, find peace and serenity from all this mess...start over!

:D Thank you both for your help.
G~
 
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