- Mar 13, 2012
All the pretending, all the falseness, all of the 'I'm fine' etc... Well I'm not fine, I'm not ok- just let me sit and stare at the wall without asking me if I'm fine every two mins. I'm done with the urgent care team who have done nothing but doled out meds to me every day for the last two to three weeks. I'm done with sitting on the stairs rocking back and forth. I'm done with my jiggly legs and twitchy hands. I'm done pretending the cuts on my hands are from thorns or cats. I'm done with the constant raging battle in my head. I don't feel right,I don't feel fine and no one is listening. I'm done with the constant prick of tears in my eyes. I'm done with not driving as I am 'not fit' according to the DVLA, I'm sick of the threat of social services looming over my head. I can't convey whats wrong with mummy to my daughter. I just want to be on my own, away from the world. I want to I to sleep for a year, wake up and then everything be ok. I'm a zombie, I'm a mess and I'm scared of own thoughts and actions. Sorry for the histrionics,but i can't get his out any other way.