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im destroying my life



New member
Jul 13, 2021
the quick run down is that as of lately, I've felt immeasurable emptiness and a lack of agency in my future. every night i go to bed terrified of the next day. i can't open up to friends cause they wouldn't get it. i have a girlfriend, and i know for a fact the way i am has been completely frustrating her. she has said "i try not to get frustrated because i understand you would do the same for me, so it wouldn't be fair for you"

i just can't stop this feeling and it won't stop until there's nothing left


Well-known member
Mar 1, 2021
Hi and welcome 💗 I am sorry you are going through this. I know it is hard because I often feel terrified too and I can't explain it to friends. There is a huge barrier and I'm on the other side. My husband is very supportive and loving, but I know that sometimes he is frustrated. There are a lot of kind people here on the forum that give support and understanding. I hope that with time and help it will stop before there is nothing left.


Well-known member
Apr 20, 2019
i can't open up to friends cause they wouldn't get it.
Ah, but how do you know? If you're keeping things from them could it not be possible that one or two of them are keeping things hidden themselves? We assume too much sometimes. It might turn out that none of them get it, or it might turn out that some of them really do and you'll be able to talk about it that way. You have a girlfriend and I assume you want her to stick around. If so, then again, you have to be able to talk to her. She will only grow frustrated if you don't explain to her why you are being how you are. You're supposed to be a team and that means working together and for each other. She will want to help if there's something wrong, just as you would if there was something wrong with her.
Talking about it is one of the hardest steps to take but also one of, if not the, most important one to take. It releases the pressure and without that you'll just have it building and building inside of you until something goes BOOM! - you don't want that, trust me I've been there a few times.

Why don't you start by unloading some of your thoughts and feelings here with us and go from there?


Active member
Jul 1, 2021
I do agree we on this board are good people to talk to 😊 We know what it's like so have a very deep understanding of what you're going through.

I understand your hesitation with opening up to others though. When my ex-fiancee and I split up, I was very open about how much pain I was in. Everyone deserted me. All of my friends from High School, and I had several, and the other church members who knew me. They all stopped talking to me (expect one person).

So maybe cautiously try opening up to a person here and there? You may be able to find a person who cares and wants to support you.
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