- Feb 29, 2012
I've been crying for so long now. Every day I try not to. I am trapped in this flat because I am physcially unable to walk far and am in pain. I asked for help from doctors years ago but they thought it was psychological and so I was refused help, practical help. I'm stuck in this flat with pain and no hope. I just wish I could stop crying. I have been in this state trapped for almost 10 years. I don't know where to turn. I spent the last 6 months trying to find out where online I could get a letter posted and pay for it but the only suggestion was to ask someone to post it for me. I am alone because I used to get 'help' from an abusive drunk but I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to go and see if I could cope on my own. I'm lost. This constant crying for years on end is just not right. This is worse than being in prison. My health is in a terrible state and I am too frightened to go phone the doctors cos I got an incredibly bad reception off them years ago because I kept telling them I was in so much pain and extreme fatigue. The more I told them the same story the more I was told there was nothing wrong with me. Sorry I got to stop, I can't stop crying. I finally thought I had some help the other month writing to the Samaritans but after about 2 or 3 emails the replies just suddenly stopped. If I had a dream come true it would be that an intermediary would go to my doctor and try to explain that I can't take this pain any more and I can't stand the fact that I'm in this flat and in bed nearly all the time. Sorry I have to stop. I'm in a really bad way and have had nothing good happen to me since this condition (misdiagnosed) started 10 years ago. I would give anything to sit in the sun for 2 minutes.Being alone in this state is a living hell and anyone could not endure it.