Im depressed and confused

animavestra

animavestra

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Oct 22, 2018
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Hi, i don't really know how to express my feelings. I'm not used to talking about my feelings. I guess I just have too many issues. I'm confused about myself, other people and just about everything in general. I feel like I'm falling apart and I don't know if i can be saved. I've tried so hard to distract myself lately. I even started studying Japanese, just to keep myself occupied. One of my problems is the fact that I'm asexual and I feel so alone. I don't think I'll ever get married or find love. God knows I've tried so hard. I'm too complicated, I don't even understand myself. I feel like my mind is playing with me and lying to me about everything. I don't trust myself or anyone else. I always hope for the best and get disappointed. People disappoint me. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to connect, tired of hoping, tired of being let down. I keep trying to tell myself that not everyone is out to get me, but I don't even believe that myself. I don't have anything figured out, not even a little. I've had depression before too, but I feel like my depression never left. I think i ignored it and faked my happiness for myself. I feel like I've been lying to myself all this time. I mean what's the point in anything if I'm too broken to begin with? I'm always on my own, with no help. I always help others with their issues and it makes me mad that I can solve their mental issues but can't even understand my own. It doesn't make any sense.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Hi and welcome to the forum! :welcome:
Im sorry you feel so alone. Thats so common with depression.
Have a look around the forum you will see that you are not alone,
Talking helps
Hugs
Fox
 
F

Fancyharm

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Sep 7, 2018
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Hi, please don't feel too bad about things, things will improve. Like Foxjo said, look around the forum. If you feel you need to just post on here and ask for help.

I have had a lot of help from people on here, it is a good place to express yourself and please don't be afraid to do so.

I have used self help methods in my recovery from agoraphobia and they have helped me so much.

One thing I still do is sit down or lie down wherever I feel comfortable, close my eyes and imagine the part of my brain that stores any problems is on a cloud, and I just watch that cloud float away in the blue sky.

It sounds simple and it may not help everyone, but it worked for me. Also relaxation exercises are very good.


xxxxxx
 
R

RaeBae

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Oct 19, 2018
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Chicago
I also an relate to the exhaustion of getting your hopes up about someone or something only to just get let down or abandoned again. It sucks girl. I'm actually bisexual and yet I feel alone and like I'm either too gay for men, to straight for women, either too much or too little, and no one is here for it. I think it's common to just retreat and just stop caring and withdrawing because being hurt so often is so exhausting. But, I'm trying to tell myself that there is a lot to live for. It's a lie at the moment but I'm hoping that one day I'll believe it. If not for a relationship or a job, then a great cup of coffee, leave my house and go ride a ferris wheel, a great book, ect. Starting with little things and hopefully work my way up. Keep fighting lady. I'm sending you hugs.
 
animavestra

animavestra

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Oct 22, 2018
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All love

Thank you all
 
animavestra

animavestra

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Oct 22, 2018
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Sending hugs to you as well, keep fighting. You'll get there soon enough, I believe in you :)
 

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