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I'm broken beyond repair. There's no hope for me.

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Mexis

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
252
Two independent doctors - one at mental healthcare and one at a healthcare center - have both ruled that my disabling fatigue is caused by a mental health condition. The healthcare-center doctor believes I have chronic depression-induced fatigue. Does this truly make sense? I also have complete numbness, occasional incapacitating head tension, tingling, buzzing, soreness, oscillating vision, sleeplessness and nausea. How can they then say there are no physical problems? I've carried out a number of blood tests today which I'm confident will come back fine. I will also meet an Asperger's Syndrome team today with my nurse to discuss my future needs. But I've been referred to them by mental healthcare, so I doubt they will help my actual condition. They will discuss my upcoming home-care support and my AS, but they are probably not interested in solving my debilitating fatigue.

I feel hopeless. If my fatigue is indeed a symptom of a mental health condition, there's nothing they can do to fix it. They can't mess with my mind. And not even I can do that. I can't finish school and I won't be able to hold down a job. I'm a defective soul. I'm broken beyond repair. I shouldn't have been created. My creation was a mistake. I'm a burden for the society who has to both pay for and care for me. The society does not accept people with an obscure debilitating condition that nobody can identify. I don't value my current existence, but I should because you don't choose to exist. I should end my life so I can end my struggles and the burden for the society.
 
LouisaMogs

LouisaMogs

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Apr 15, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warrington
You aren’t a burden on society. You’re actively seeking help for your conditions, and that’s a really big start. Sometimes seeking help is the hardest thing to do.

Hopefully if the other mental health issues you have begun to improve, that will help the fatigue improve, like a knock in effect.

Have you tried a job in a sector that helped people? That could bring a positive into your life. So your school have a mental health team that you could speak to?
 
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annaboo123

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Bradford
I feel the same I amcrippled with anxiety at the moment can't sleep can't eat agitated frightened stomach ache churning only legs sweating I've had paramedics out I've. Even to see doctors tablets just highten the anxiety I don't know what to do any help out there please
 
M

Mexis

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Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
252
I occasionally feel lethargic. It's like I'm dying although I know I'm not. It feels as if my brain has entered a permanent state of hibernation.
 
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annaboo123

Member
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Apr 9, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Bradford
Do you feel relaxed during these episodes or anxious ? So sorry you feel like this x
 
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Mexis

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Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
252
I'm feeling anxious all the time. Sounds are amplified to feel more threatening, louder, stronger and vivid.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Hello Mexis yeah I can relate to the severe fatigue. I had to leave a job because of it as I was a danger …mine was put down to being sensitised to my work environment!

I had become sensitised to wheat yeast and sugar oh and bleach all the things that were used each day. But yeah severe depression also. maybe these things caused the severe depression who knows oh yeah and house hold cleaning products also are a hazard to your energy vitality

I had no other help I had to do this myself I went to a allergy screening clinic which was private and being on a crappy wage meant I went without stuff in order to do it.

Have you heard of Candida? Which was what I had
Candida albicans: Infections, symptoms, and treatments


and also there is something called me syndrome What is ME/CFS?

which is similar but worse and that is down in part to allergies but it takes some working out as to what is causing it .
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
also have you heard of
Fibromyalgia: Symptoms, causes, and treatment

the bottom line for these conditions is diet and exercise. An anti inflammatory diet now its taken me forever to accept that I need to go an such a diet.

Also
Plantar Fasciitis: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment - Natural Food Series

what I notice about some of these conditions above is to do with inflammation. And what I realise grudgingly and reluctantly is most food in the supermarket does not help with this most food that is ready made etc just keep the problem active.

So yeah there you go bit of a journey lol

Oh and Candida can mess with your thinking process in that you are darkly depressed when I read about Candida in my case I was struck by the description it sounded like me now that was a wake up I can tell you. Food most definitely affects mood

So no you are fixable its just that it is a journey one that I had to embark on. sorry for the lots of info
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Mar 19, 2019
Messages
3,205
Location
UK
Really helpful posts, Blacksmoke.

I have a vast array of allergies and this has got me thinking....

Thanks xx
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
there is hope but the medical world seem to just label and drug you and still they dont inform people of options. i am no medic- just life experience
 
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Aurelius

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
317
Mexis, always remember we can have more than one condition and they can feed into each other or feed off each other (as some of our mental health conditions can do - i.e., our depression can feed off of our physical problems or our ongoing anxieties, etc).

As we do not generally have integrated health care systems that offer a holistic approach, we can get repeatedly shunted from pillar to post. Because some of our symptoms do not fit into the world view of whatever specialism is looking at us, we can be misdiagnosed, undiagnosed or disbelieved.

For example, if some of our medical symptoms do not respond to treatment there is a temptation to say they must belong to another medical condition that will need to be investigated somewhere else, or that they must be psychological or even non-existent - especially when the medical conditions they can test for have been exhausted. The same pattern can occur when some of our psychological symptoms do not respond to treatment.

If we have a complex pattern of comorbid conditions (i.e., medical, psychological, psychosocial, sensory, etc) that can result in a range of similar symptoms (i.e., fatigue, depressed states, particular hypersensitivities, etc) then successful treatment of symptoms under one of the conditions can be masked/hidden by similar symptoms that are still occurring as a result of one or more of our other conditions. Without effective integrated healthcare - even at the level of good communication between the various professionals/services involved in our care - then this kind of pattern is unlikely to be picked up at an early stage.

The reason acute care that involves several specialisms in hospitals is very often more effective than care in the community that involves the same specialisms, is that communication between those specialisms in hospitals is often direct and contemporaneous - allowing different lines of investigation and treatment options to be considered and undertaken simultaneously and patient outcomes to be shared and evaluated across specialisms.
 
M

Mexis

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
252
Mexis, always remember we can have more than one condition and they can feed into each other or feed off each other (as some of our mental health conditions can do - i.e., our depression can feed off of our physical problems or our ongoing anxieties, etc).

As we do not generally have integrated health care systems that offer a holistic approach, we can get repeatedly shunted from pillar to post. Because some of our symptoms do not fit into the world view of whatever specialism is looking at us, we can be misdiagnosed, undiagnosed or disbelieved.

For example, if some of our medical symptoms do not respond to treatment there is a temptation to say they must belong to another medical condition that will need to be investigated somewhere else, or that they must be psychological or even non-existent - especially when the medical conditions they can test for have been exhausted. The same pattern can occur when some of our psychological symptoms do not respond to treatment.

If we have a complex pattern of comorbid conditions (i.e., medical, psychological, psychosocial, sensory, etc) that can result in a range of similar symptoms (i.e., fatigue, depressed states, particular hypersensitivities, etc) then successful treatment of symptoms under one of the conditions can be masked/hidden by similar symptoms that are still occurring as a result of one or more of our other conditions. Without effective integrated healthcare - even at the level of good communication between the various professionals/services involved in our care - then this kind of pattern is unlikely to be picked up at an early stage.

The reason acute care that involves several specialisms in hospitals is very often more effective than care in the community that involves the same specialisms, is that communication between those specialisms in hospitals is often direct and contemporaneous - allowing different lines of investigation and treatment options to be considered and undertaken simultaneously and patient outcomes to be shared and evaluated across specialisms.
So what you're saying is that I should go and visit the emergency room at my local hospital instead of pursuing local mental healthcare services?
 
A

Aurelius

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
317
Continue pursuing your local mental healthcare services, as you will not know what they can offer and whether this will be of help unless you give them a chance. You might ask them to take your full medical history into consideration, as you feel that some of your symptoms may come from overlapping medical and psychological conditions. You could also explain that previous medical and psychological support that has looked at your problems from exclusively one angle (if this is the case) has not really helped with your most distressing long term symptom of fatigue - and you are desperate for some help with this, so your life can start to move forwards again. As part of this, it might be advisable to let them know that this will hopefully allow parents to move forward in their lives and in their relationship with you - as you all seem to be trapped in some way or other by your chronic fatigue and the daily issues it causes.

If the approach your local mental healthcare services fails to provide any meaningful benefits or you have a crisis while you are waiting for your appointment, you might need to consider visiting the emergency room at your local hospital. As with your local mental healthcare services, you might ask them to take your full medical history into consideration, as you feel that some of your symptoms may come from overlapping medical and psychological conditions. Once again, you could also explain that previous medical and psychological support that has looked at your problems from exclusively one angle (if this is the case) has not really helped with your most distressing long term symptom of fatigue - and you are desperate for some help with this, so your life can start to move forwards again. As part of this, it might be advisable to let them know that this will hopefully allow parents to move forward in their lives and in their relationship with you - as you all seem to be trapped in some way or other by your chronic fatigue and the daily issues it causes.
 
T

Turnitoffandonagain

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 17, 2018
Messages
179
The topic gets me so angry and despondent. Severe physical symptoms without a diagnosis are just a recipe for hell, and there is nothing out there to help. I sometimes suspect, in a conspiratorial mindset, that it's because the psyche industry, expecially in the US where it's all about money, has carefully lobbied to annex all 'medically unexplained symptoms' to their empire, to ensure a revenue stream. So it will be treated as 'psychological', despite the fact they have no treatments that work and don't even know what it is they are treating. Because they just lump every unexplained physical condition together, without even listening to what the patient is saying, regardless of how distinct or different each case is.

But the great thing about psychological treatments, the advantage over physical ones, is that they can never be shown not to work - you just say the patient "didn't want to change badly enough" and the theory is defended.

Just got up today, after the usual terrible night of constantly interrupted sleep.

Dizzy as all hell, head-spinning, tongue, throat, and urethea burning as if full of acid, feel as if I've been punched repeatedly in the solar plexus, and the usual weird glue-like substance replacing the normal mucus in my sinuses and upper airways. Wheeze as I breathe. Going to be staggering around in a dizzy light-heaeded daze for most of the day, then probably the oxygen-starved feeling and intense pressure in my head will come back making it impossible to sleep (along with the painful need to pee every 30 minutes that has been going on for decades).

Once upon a time I'd have gotten up on a sunny day like this eager to get out on the bike (Ok, assuming it wasn't a workday, but even then the commute!) or just a long walk and get exercise and get out of town, etc. Now I all I can do is slump in front of the computer or go for ultra-slow, dizzy walks, thinking how pointless life now is.

And there is no help out there. You just go round-and-round in the system, constantly being told "you have to find your own solution" (so what are you paid a salary for?).

Still feel rage at the CMHT psychologist who, when I mentioned I kept a diary of my symptoms (trying to find a pattern or explanation) just sneeringly said "pah, you'd be better off keeping a diary of things that are going _right_".
 
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