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I'm back



Well-known member
Jul 7, 2017
Its been awhile since I've been here. I'd been just having such a hard time and I still am but I'm ahead of the current at the moment, keeping my head above water enough to be able to breath. I need to apologize and clear something up. When I left I wasn't mad at anybody here and I wasn't planning on killing myself. I'm sorry if it sounded that way. I'd just been really struggling and haven't gotten much rest or much of a break from anything in the last while.

A lot of the time its a lot of little things compounding with some bigger things. Feeling like the universe is against me and is not in my favor in any way. There's so many little things I can't possibly begin. A few of the bigger things though, my financial situation sucks and my social status in this world sucks. I don't know how to talk to anybody and I don't know how to read anybody. I'm pretty out of it at this point and don't feel nearly as strong and capable as I used to. It takes me so much effort just to get out my door to the grocery store, or go for a short run. Being weaker, everything crumbles each day. I can't keep up with it. I'm fighting currents against a whirlpool with no hope of escape. Its been a very long and trying year. These last five months have felt like years have gone by, since January. I keep telling myself, its going to get better. Its going to get better. You can do this. It never actually does though. Anyway, thanks everyone here and I'll be happy to help out anyway I can.