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I'm awful at making decisions.

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Lizaje

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
711
Location
Idk
Like a baby I need my mother to tell me what to do. She's not around so.. I've been trying to decide for weeks if I want to move or don't want to move. If I should give up my old apartment or not.

  • I get super stressed with changes
  • I receive contradictory and or left handed advice from others
  • I don't know what is the right thing to do OR what I want to do
Tips on how to make up my mind? Please don't say, listen to your heart.. :BLAH:
 
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LokiPokey75

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
578
Location
United States
Hi Lizaje!

I have an idea of what you're going through. All my life, I always felt more comfortable relying on my mother's decisions than my own. She knew better than me and I thought her input was necessary to making any decision. I've come to find out over time how much that reliance has hindered me. I stopped trusting my decisions and essentially left my whole life up to what my mother said.

I know you want to make a decision, but I think you need to address the bigger issue here -- why you need your mother's input. You're afraid because you think you'll make the wrong decision. You're stuck because you believe your mother would have guided you in the right direction. These are valid feelings. But sorting them out first will help you be more confident in whatever decision you make.

I lived my life being afraid to make mistakes because I felt I needed to go with my mother's advice over my own choices. I've had to learn to be okay going against the grain, even if that means not having the outcome I wanted. Same thing applies here. I know you don't like changes but you have to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself what you should do. People are well-meaning, but there's likely a reason their advice doesn't seem right. Because somewhere deep down, you already know what decision you're leaning towards. Go with that!

I won't say listen to your heart. You're right. It's cliche! Instead, I say face your fears, take them out of the picture, and trust your judgment. You know what you want. You know what you need. Identify each of them and then make a decision.

Good luck, Lizaje! Stay safe!
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
36,725
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i have always let other people make decisions for me
sometimes i like it because i don't want to be in a grown up world where decisions need to be made
sometimes i resent it and it makes me feel bad

im not sure what to say to help but i hope you find a way to make decisions in whatever way suits you best
love Lu x
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
258
Location
Philippines
Decide to stay where you will be more restful, peaceful and happier. Decide to stay where you will grow more and be able to be productive and achieve more.
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
Like a baby I need my mother to tell me what to do. She's not around so.. I've been trying to decide for weeks if I want to move or don't want to move. If I should give up my old apartment or not.

  • I get super stressed with changes
  • I receive contradictory and or left handed advice from others
  • I don't know what is the right thing to do OR what I want to do
Tips on how to make up my mind? Please don't say, listen to your heart.. :BLAH:
I think you need to get used to change, because it happens so often. Eating a new meal, starting a new job, meeting a new person or having new children, are a few examples. Changes are good and do not take long or take more effort to be implemented.
 
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