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im at one of my lowest points :(

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chloe

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
6
for the last 5 days i have found it so hard to cope, i have burst into tears at the slightest thing and feel so low. my partner moved out around a month ago which was totally my fault, and i am lucky he is willing to give things another go, he has lived with me and my kids for 4 years now but hasnt been living here for the past month, last week he had a week off work and spent 6 nights here wich was great, it was like the start of the relationship again, we were closer than we had been in the past 3 years, we cuddled up on the sofa, we took baths together ect which we got out of the habit of doing, but now he has gone back to work this week and has moved back into his flat and because of the hours he works its hard for him to come round every day, he only came round today because it was my birthday and he only stayed 10 mins then. i am finding it so hard to cope without him, i know i wont see him till the weekend now and just thinking about that is ******* me, i hate to be alone, i cant even go to bed at night, i have to sleep down stairs on the sofa at night with the lights on and the tv on, any noise i hear sends me into a panic, its awful. i just cant live without him, when he stays away its like he turns into a different person when he calls in to see me, he seems distent. the worst thing is i know its all down to me, i hurt him an i'll never forgive myself for hurting him and i am so lucky that he is willing to give things another go but the fact that he isnt here is ******* me even though i know he needs space an me bugging him to come home is just pushing him away because its not what he wants right now,

oh an to make things worse my gp has took me off my meds because i have a low blood platelet count because of them and i cant stand my councillor, i think shes a patronising cow grrrrr :mad:
 
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YellowBrickRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
81
Location
North wales.
It's hard getting back to normal after a rough time. Surely your split cannot be all your fault. Stay strong, keep hanging on and keep telling yourself you can get through this :hug: Sorry if I sound patronising. :unsure: I hope you feel better soon Take care. x
 
C

chloe

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
6
yes the split was all my fault :( i just feel that the more time he spends away from me he will start thinking that he doesnt want to come back to me, i have to change the way i am before he will even think about coming back but i cant do that without him here, its the depression that has made me the way i am an without him here things have got alot worse, i cant drag myself of the sofa or stop crying, i cant even look after myself never mind my kids, i dont think he understands how bad my depression is as i have never really spoken to him about it as he doesnt understand depression, he just thinks its when you feel low and need to pull yourself together (something i cant do) and my gp hasnt been any help at all, an my councillor had made me feel worse if anything :( should i have a pdoc? or is a councillor enough?
 
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