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Im angry.

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EstherRose94

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And of course it’s “all your fault Rosie”.

Could have gotten way uglier so improvement I guess. I didn’t even do anything. I got pissed for a good enough reason cause I’m tired of being corrected ALL. THE. TIME. It was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“What do you wanna do?”
“Well I was talking to Jake and he said-“
“Screw Jake! I said what do YOU want to do?”

Umm okay. Apparently it’s my bad for getting angry that I was interrupted and raising my voice.

I guess it was a very stupid start to an argument. I just don’t like when I’m not listened to. Makes me very angry.

I’ve gone through basically every extreme on the emotional spectrum over the past few hours so I’m going to bed.
 
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EstherRose94

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I feel like I don’t get the patience I deserve. I get told that my anxiety hurts them and that they are mentally exhausted bc of me. I get told that they don’t wanna talk to me right now even though I was trying to apologize and end the night on a better note.

I say I don’t like the tone they take cause it’s flat and short and not very nice. I hear “how dare you blame me? Your anxiety isn’t my fault”.

I’m made at myself and at them and at everything and I don’t wanna go to bed bc I’ll be ten times angrier in the morning.

Not fair 😢. I really do try.
 
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EstherRose94

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Im way more calm now. I’m sure I did overreact a touch last night lol. I’m not gonna dwell on it. I bet everything will be fine.
 
RockSolid

RockSolid

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Women are socially programmed to be submissive in getting what they want. Therefore it is normal for younger women to give hints and suggestions as to what they want. Younger men are not aware of this and don't understand hints so they get frustrated. If it's a woman that is frustrated with you she's most likely angry about something else and is just getting off by being a bitch to you.
 
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EstherRose94

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Im the woman 😂😂 hahah.
 
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EstherRose94

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Oh wait i understand what you mean now lol. Sorry I read that backwards like you thought I was a guy.
 
Lunus

Lunus

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I feel like I don’t get the patience I deserve. I get told that my anxiety hurts them and that they are mentally exhausted bc of me. I get told that they don’t wanna talk to me right now even though I was trying to apologize and end the night on a better note.

I say I don’t like the tone they take cause it’s flat and short and not very nice. I hear “how dare you blame me? Your anxiety isn’t my fault”.

I’m made at myself and at them and at everything and I don’t wanna go to bed bc I’ll be ten times angrier in the morning.

Not fair 😢. I really do try.
Okay, your post could really be about anyone living with someone suffering from a mental illness. As I see it, we talk a different language to others, so there are three options.

1. They learn your language. For example they get a self help book on living with someone with an anxiety disorder.
2. You learn their language by getting better through self help and or therapy
3. You walk away from that relationship

If nobody wants to do any of the above, my advice would be you and whoever you are arguing with make an agreement that as soon as a discussion starts to get heated or emotional you stop, and continue the discussion when you both feel in a calmer frame of mind.
 
RockSolid

RockSolid

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Oh wait i understand what you mean now lol. Sorry I read that backwards like you thought I was a guy.
Yeah, so when you're with your boyfriend just try to start practicing telling him exactly what you want. For example let's say that you and him are planning to go to a restaurant and you want him to take you to some new Mexican restaurant that you've heard about, don't say something vague like, "I heard that new Mexican place is good." This kind of suggestion does not mean anything to a guy and he will just get pissed off because he'll think you're indecisive. Instead say something like, "If you want to get laid tonight you'd better take me to that new Mexican restaurant."
Once you've learned how to assert yourself your relationship will be a lot more harmonious. However if you are too assertive he may begin to think you're turning into a bitch. If you are unsure just take some time to observe your boyfriend when he is with his mother. Does his mother coddle him or does she often have a stern tone in her voice when she talks to him. If his mother is stern it's an indicator that she is used to voicing her opinion and so your boyfriend will subconsciously be expecting a similar mode of communication from whomever he's dating.
Just don't compare yourself to his mother because if she is somewhere between 45 and 65 it is more than likely that she is bitter and resentful about a lot of things and this type of view leads to very rigid thinking. Women like that get caught in the trap of thinking that the world only works in a certain way and they are no longer open to suggestions that may improve their view of reality.
 
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EstherRose94

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Okay, your post could really be about anyone living with someone suffering from a mental illness. As I see it, we talk a different language to others, so there are three options.

1. They learn your language. For example they get a self help book on living with someone with an anxiety disorder.
2. You learn their language by getting better through self help and or therapy
3. You walk away from that relationship

If nobody wants to do any of the above, my advice would be you and whoever you are arguing with make an agreement that as soon as a discussion starts to get heated or emotional you stop, and continue the discussion when you both feel in a calmer frame of mind.
Yeah. We understand each other a lot better than we used to. We can communicate better than before and so I think we’re kinda working on meeting in the middle. I feel like we’ll get there haha.
 
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EstherRose94

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Yeah, so when you're with your boyfriend just try to start practicing telling him exactly what you want. For example let's say that you and him are planning to go to a restaurant and you want him to take you to some new Mexican restaurant that you've heard about, don't say something vague like, "I heard that new Mexican place is good." This kind of suggestion does not mean anything to a guy and he will just get pissed off because he'll think you're indecisive. Instead say something like, "If you want to get laid tonight you'd better take me to that new Mexican restaurant."
Once you've learned how to assert yourself your relationship will be a lot more harmonious. However if you are too assertive he may begin to think you're turning into a bitch. If you are unsure just take some time to observe your boyfriend when he is with his mother. Does his mother coddle him or does she often have a stern tone in her voice when she talks to him. If his mother is stern it's an indicator that she is used to voicing her opinion and so your boyfriend will subconsciously be expecting a similar mode of communication from whomever he's dating.
Just don't compare yourself to his mother because if she is somewhere between 45 and 65 it is more than likely that she is bitter and resentful about a lot of things and this type of view leads to very rigid thinking. Women like that get caught in the trap of thinking that the world only works in a certain way and they are no longer open to suggestions that may improve their view of reality.
Hmm that’s super interesting. Like the part about how my tone when I’m being too wishy washy or needy could be super annoying. Cause I think I’m being really nice by not voicing my opinion haha.
 
RockSolid

RockSolid

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Hmm that’s super interesting. Like the part about how my tone when I’m being too wishy washy or needy could be super annoying. Cause I think I’m being really nice by not voicing my opinion haha.
Not voicing your opinion is the typical norm. By doing this you are instinctively letting your boyfriend take the lead in certain situations and that is an indicator that you love him. The problem is that depending on his age and experience level he might not understand that you are being a good girlfriend by letting him think he is in charge of the situation. An older man with more experience under his belt would appreciate this right away which is one of the reasons you occasionally see a middle aged man with a chick half his age. She is turned on by how easy it is to communicate with him and that he has his life all figured out and can provide some stability for a short time. He on the other hand is delighted that a sexy young thing is willing to bump uglies with him in exchange for a meal and a few laughs.
Just consider this part of your life the learning stage and try to make the best of it while you're young enough to play the part.
 
G

Girl interupted

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Esther have you ever traced where your bpd comes from?
 
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