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I'm afraid to be around people

H

Holmzy

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Newcastle
When ever I'm around people at work or on public transport i am terrified of what they think of me and what there opinion of me is. To the point that that at work i don't speak to people when i should because i spend the whole time thinking over things in my head. I over think every little detail then end up just not saying anything at all and hidding away back in the section i work at not leaveing it because there i am alone. Yet that doesn't help much because it leaves me with my own thoughts and i just make my self worse.
 
R

Ramson mash

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Feb 1, 2019
Messages
2,724
Location
Uk
Hi Holmzy.
I knew a lad called Holmzy he had proper squeeky trainers. Really sound lad but thats unrelated.
Can i ask though is there any potential to feel good about what others think of you? Everyone has many worries and fears about what ppl think. But if we try to love ourselves then that will project outwards and we can find good results.
Many of us learn through trial and error. Have courage, be yourself, stick to your principles but remember YOU are your best friend.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
661
Location
India
When ever I'm around people at work or on public transport i am terrified of what they think of me and what there opinion of me is. To the point that that at work i don't speak to people when i should because i spend the whole time thinking over things in my head. I over think every little detail then end up just not saying anything at all and hidding away back in the section i work at not leaveing it because there i am alone. Yet that doesn't help much because it leaves me with my own thoughts and i just make my self worse.
:welcome: to Mental Health Forum.

A quick question so we can get more insight into your situation: You worry about what other people think of you; but what do you think of yourself?
 
H

Holmzy

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Newcastle
I don't know maybe it's all in my head and they don't this that but in a moment speaking to someone it terrifies me. I think about everything they could be thinking about me about and what I'm saying that and that makes me so nervous and terrified. If there is i don't see it.
 
H

Holmzy

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Newcastle
:welcome: to Mental Health Forum.

A quick question so we can get more insight into your situation: You worry about what other people think of you; but what do you think of yourself?
That im not worth anything that i'm useless . I may as well hide away because then it better then i can't screw anything up.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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That im not worth anything that i'm useless . I may as well hide away because then it better then i can't screw anything up.
I think the same way due to my mental illness -- and it's even true in my case.

But if you truly think you're worthless, other people can't possibly lower your opinion about yourself, can they -- you have nothing to lose. So, what the hell are you afraid of? :)
 
H

Holmzy

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Newcastle
I think the same way due to my mental illness -- and it's even true in my case.

But if you truly think you're worthless, other people can't possibly lower your opinion about yourself, can they -- you have nothing to lose. So, what the hell are you afraid of? :)
I have never thought about it like that i have always just hid away and been by my self.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Jun 24, 2018
Messages
250
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New Zealand
@Holmzy

I'm not making a diagnosis, just expressing my opinion based on my own experiences, but what you're describing fits the mindset of someone with social anxiety. If you look up 'social anxiety' on the internet or on this website too, and read what the symptoms are, you might gain some very valuable insights into the workings of the mind.

I know what you're feeling Homzy. Hang in there please, as there's always hope for improvement.
 
T

Turnitoffandonagain

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 17, 2018
Messages
179
I do that a fair bit, though not to the degree you describe (I have other problems though). It's gotten much worse since my 'career' has disintegrated. Used to be that I could fall back on knowing I was at least good at one thing, even if whenever I socially-interacted with people I would find reasons to feel bad about myself.

Also for me it goes the other way as well - I find it very easy to find reasons to, well not exactly dislike people, as to feel completely alienated from them. "This person isn't like me, we have nothing in common, we aren't going to agree on anything".
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

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Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
When ever I'm around people at work or on public transport i am terrified of what they think of me and what there opinion of me is. To the point that that at work i don't speak to people when i should because i spend the whole time thinking over things in my head. I over think every little detail then end up just not saying anything at all and hidding away back in the section i work at not leaveing it because there i am alone. Yet that doesn't help much because it leaves me with my own thoughts and i just make my self worse.

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you're having this experience. I used to worry all the time about what other people thought of me; everywhere I looked I thought people were judging. However, now that I'm older and I've talked to a professional about some of my problems I've been having, I now know that those people are all in their own world thinking about their own problems, their own insecurities etc and so probably aren't taking any notice of me. As hard as it can be with anxiety, I think it's important to make happy relationships with the people around us as much as we can, so I think you should take baby steps towards being more social with the right help from your GP and maybe even other professionals. I hope this has helped in some way xx
 
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