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I'm a mess and a failure

fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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May 29, 2014
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278
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Essex
I'm a mess and a failure as a person, I've lost all my friends and am now driving my partner and kids away.

How can I go on knowing that I am slowly losing all the people that were and are close to me.

It's time to go I can't do this anymore.
 
fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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Messages
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Location
Essex
108 people viewing and not one response to my thread, I must be a complete failure.
 
fazza

fazza

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Hey I am here. You are not a failure you are just a human being with an illness. Talk to me if you need to vent some steam
 
fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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Messages
278
Location
Essex
I'm so low this is the lowest I have been, ever. I'm losing my family and my mind, my mood swings are getting worse and the voices are back. I haven't slept properly in two weeks.

My misses is threatening to kick me out, I've told her I can't help it, it is part of being Schizoaffective the highs and the lows.
 
fazza

fazza

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Oh no thats no good. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse. Explain to the other half how you feel. Tell her you need help. It does get better mate you just need to get through the lows.
 
fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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Messages
278
Location
Essex
I've tried to talk to her but she said she has had enough and she can't take it anymore.

I do have support from the CMHT but if I tell them my plans and thoughts they will want to put me in hospital again and I can't go back in there. I've not been out long, only a month.

I'm starting to rapid cycle with my moods and it's hard, being up one day feeling like your on top of the world and then being down and feeling like this. It's too much to take and the voices don't make it any better.
 
fazza

fazza

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I think you need help if you are rapid cycling. The wife situation can be a catalyst that could make things very difficult for you. Do you have a c.p.n you could ring ?
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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I agree with fazza in that the not sleeping will definitely not be helping. Do you have any medication to help with sleep?
 
fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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Messages
278
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Essex
I have a CPN but will not be able to ring him until the morning and I don't know how much more of this I can take tonight.

I have sleeping tablets Zopiclone but they don't have an affect on me anymore, yes I get drowsy but don't fall into a deep sleep.
 
fazza

fazza

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If you are feeling really low and you cannot get hold of your c.p.n or local crisis team then I suggest you go to A/E and ask to speak to the on duty Pdoc. That way you can be safe and possibly get a med tweek. You may find that they give you some benzo's for a week. That may help
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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If the sleeping tabs do make you drowsy at least would that help a bit at least to get you through tonight then you can speak to your cpn tomorrow?
 
fate_w_g

fate_w_g

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Messages
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Essex
I won't take benzo's anymore because I got addicted to diazepam a while back. I don't know what to do, I thank you for your advice but right now I'm in two minds about what I should do.

I'm confused.
 
fazza

fazza

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Voices and a low mood is bound to make you confused. You need to remember and keep thinking that you want to get well. I was the same as you a while back and although it is hard you can get better.
 
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