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I'm a coward

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firemonkee57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,190
#1
I'm a coward .The question over autism spectrum disorder constantly hangs over me ,but I'm too scared to press for an assessment. Although I have autistic traits I question whether I would meet the full criteria. In fact I fit a similar thing non-verbal learning disorder better. The trouble being NVLD is scarcely recognised in this country . The local autism service doesn't cover NVLD so the fear is the rejection of an autism diagnosis will not result in other avenues being explored. This in turn would cement/strengthen the ignorant and misguided belief that everything relates back to the mental health diagnosis. Then there is the issue that as an adult there's not much support whether you're on the spectrum or NVLD. It would be nice though to be able to say to all the ignorant fuckers it was always much more than a case of being "awkward,demanding and troublesome"
 
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exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,757
#2
The ignorant fuckers will always be ignorant though, and you having a piece of paper will not stop them being ignorant fuckers. Teachers possibly will have passed away now or be in a home for retired ignorant fuckers,

I think it is fairly obvious to anyone who is familiar with your posts that you are no fool. Children have no power. You were very badly let down by people who were supposed to support you. that is not your fault although it is a stigma you have felt for a long time.

There is very little support for MH let alone what you think your possible condition is. If you want to know for your own piece of mind would you consider perhaps a private assessment? ( If that is possible). Even then you probably know more through your own research over the years than many experts Firemonkey:)
 
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givethemhell

givethemhell

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2018
Messages
157
Location
USA
#3
same, FireMonkee, same...I'm going on Monday to get an evaluation at a walk-in clinic and I am afraid either way that they will not confirm my suspicions that I am on the spectrum, OR that they will. I'm scared either way. and as an adult, i'm also scared that there's not much to be done--it's just who i am. I identify with NVLD as well. in fact, i think (among other things) that my constant asking of questions and having to be shown things multiple times and just not getting it cost me a pretty good job a couple of years ago. if i am diagnosed, i wish i could tell that boss who fired me since his own son shows striking signs of autism and may likely face similar challenges that I have and that it's not just that i'm awkward, demanding or troublesome.

but you're not a coward for feeling that way. definitely not. it's a scary thing and would be scary for anyone--especially the person who's lived it!

maybe getting an assessment could help you at least accept who you are fully and lay to rest the feelings of fear.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,734
Location
Europe
#5
I’ve always found it hard to understand the importance of a diagnosis... ultimately you are who you are, you tell your own story through the way you live your life. It is much more important that you can get to self acceptance and self-love, which is quite a difficult thing when your parents perhaps didn’t give you enough love to start with in seeing yourself.

Although there are of course practical sides to a diagnosis, such as treatment and benefits.

Anyhow Firemonkee you have my respect, you do good things in the community. Trying to keep the rest of us informed about what’s happening in mental health is no easy task. Autistic or not doesn’t make much difference, from what I can see you’re a good person.