
Brimble
Member
Founding Member
What is it that makes this awful feeling of nothingness pervade each waking hour? I feel a deep sense of doom. I can’t think straight and any thoughts I do have seem irrational and confused. I am losing the power of speech, I open my mouth but the words won’t come out. It feels like there is an internal fight raging. When I stop to think I hear myself screaming, feelings of self-loathing now shape every day.
I am so angry with myself, can’t even look in the mirror most of the time. I’ve never self-harmed but feel like chopping my own head off. I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the world, attempting to cope at work but sick with fear. I panic and think the world is crashing down around me- why do I allow myself to plunge into this hysterical despair? I am trying to “interact” socially but am so terrified. I am literally sick during a panic attack and can't go on like this much longer.
Event after event has weighed on me over the past 7 years and I’ve just kept going – hoping – trying. Others cope so why not me? Why am I such a wretched mess? This forum is the only place to ask such questions.
Even now I have trouble writing (something I usually do quite well) – my thoughts are jumbled and I can’t make sense of anything. I don’t hear voices thank God – I don’t have visions but I know something is very wrong with me.
Mentally I can go no further today and am afraid of what this evening, tomorrow, next week and next month will bring. Can't think of a year of it.
“If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad”
Sylvia Plath
I am so angry with myself, can’t even look in the mirror most of the time. I’ve never self-harmed but feel like chopping my own head off. I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the world, attempting to cope at work but sick with fear. I panic and think the world is crashing down around me- why do I allow myself to plunge into this hysterical despair? I am trying to “interact” socially but am so terrified. I am literally sick during a panic attack and can't go on like this much longer.
Event after event has weighed on me over the past 7 years and I’ve just kept going – hoping – trying. Others cope so why not me? Why am I such a wretched mess? This forum is the only place to ask such questions.
Even now I have trouble writing (something I usually do quite well) – my thoughts are jumbled and I can’t make sense of anything. I don’t hear voices thank God – I don’t have visions but I know something is very wrong with me.
Mentally I can go no further today and am afraid of what this evening, tomorrow, next week and next month will bring. Can't think of a year of it.
“If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad”
Sylvia Plath