If erasing your existence were possible, we’d have fewer people in the world

M

mal

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#1
If only we could disappear. Never have existed. Go back in time and have a different sperm connect with that egg.

Killing oneself is difficult and painful for everyone, both the suicider and their friends and family.

But never being born? That wouldn’t hurt anyone. What an amazing option it would be. To just... poof!

Nobody remembers you, nobody grieves you, nobody to cry over your body because there isn’t one, a body I mean, because you never existed.

Relief.
 
RoseGoldBoi

RoseGoldBoi

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#2
I have always said there is a difference between suicide and wishing oneself from being born. I sometimes resent my mother for having me at such a young age. Its not my fault her life was ruined because she had me while she was in school.
 
A

angels egg

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#3
I think about this a lot. I feel so guilty for thinking about this. But sometimes I believe my parents would have better lives without me. I stress them out too much. I'm a terrible daughter.
 
M

mal

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#4
I have always said there is a difference between suicide and wishing oneself from being born. I sometimes resent my mother for having me at such a young age. Its not my fault her life was ruined because she had me while she was in school.
And this is why people should be allowed better access to family planning. To make sure that if and when they choose to have a family, they have the financial and mental health necessary to provide for their family, improving quality of life for everyone involved.

Also, I can’t seem to have this ‘wishing I weren’t born’ discussion with people without having them immediately think I’m considering s/cide. I’m not. It’s just an interesting (and admittedly attractive) concept. It’s frustrating that I can’t have this theoretical convo with anyone around me..
 
M

mal

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#5
I think about this a lot. I feel so guilty for thinking about this. But sometimes I believe my parents would have better lives without me. I stress them out too much. I'm a terrible daughter.
I feel the same toward my mom & brothers. I always feel like I’m the cause of arguments or stress. My brothers are less argumentative I guess, I don’t know.

To make it worse, my mom will badmouth her ex (my dad) in one breath and then ‘compliment’ me with a comparison to him in the next. It’s usually about our creativity.. but what good is creativity if you have no energy or drive to apply it to anything useful?

I think society should stop focusing so much on commitment to the nuclear family but rather to your society as a whole. Too many people are crippled by expectations to their family, like you and me.

You might think of yourself as a terrible daughter, but you’re probably an amazing friend to someone. Your family of choice should matter more, I think.

What do you think?
 
A

angels egg

Guest
#6
I feel the same toward my mom & brothers. I always feel like I’m the cause of arguments or stress. My brothers are less argumentative I guess, I don’t know.

To make it worse, my mom will badmouth her ex (my dad) in one breath and then ‘compliment’ me with a comparison to him in the next. It’s usually about our creativity.. but what good is creativity if you have no energy or drive to apply it to anything useful?

I think society should stop focusing so much on commitment to the nuclear family but rather to your society as a whole. Too many people are crippled by expectations to their family, like you and me.

You might think of yourself as a terrible daughter, but you’re probably an amazing friend to someone. Your family of choice should matter more, I think.

What do you think?
I'm sorry you deal with all of that. I know what it's like. Growing up I had a lot of arguments with my parents, and I'll admit I started a lot of the problems. It just feels like I'm the problem.

:hug1: I agree with you. I think some people just don't realize how much their comments hurt. Or maybe they do but they just don't care? Who knows. I've reached a point in life where I just stopped trying to argue or fight anymore. It's not easy, since I'm filled with so much anger. But my anger only gets me into trouble anyway.

A family of choice sounds kind of nice. But I don't really have anyone except for my parents. I do love them. I just worry that I'm a burden.

Also, welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
RoseGoldBoi

RoseGoldBoi

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Location
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#7
And this is why people should be allowed better access to family planning. To make sure that if and when they choose to have a family, they have the financial and mental health necessary to provide for their family, improving quality of life for everyone involved.

Also, I can’t seem to have this ‘wishing I weren’t born’ discussion with people without having them immediately think I’m considering s/cide. I’m not. It’s just an interesting (and admittedly attractive) concept. It’s frustrating that I can’t have this theoretical convo with anyone around me..
For 21 years, even as a child, she never failed to remind me she wish she never had kids. That alone is forgivable & understandable but when you attach physical abuse and emotional abuse to it, it really reinforces where I stand with her. I remember when I was 10, we were in the kitchen and out of nowhere she brings up how successful she would have been if she didn't have me and she spat in my face, literally. Spitting on people is considered one of the most disrespectful gestures you can do to a human, imagine getting a handful of your mothers face as a child. When ever the topic is brought up about her abuse as a 21 year old (She usually does) she tells me she was stressed and to get over it.

I find people pat themselves on the back when they shutdown a convo about the wish of erasing oneselfs existence because they think "I just prevented suicide, I'm such a good person!" when they don't bother to look deeper into what we really mean. On the surface it looks like suicide but underneath its just the thought of instant relief from being absent from the injustice we endured in the first place. Its the act of preventing not eliminating. I find its the people who are doing well and are fuffiled in their lives who counter this concept. They don't know what its like being at the mercy of your circumstances, having to sit through every dreadful mood swing and never ending conflict in disfunctional family. I'd never commit suicide because I'm too scared of the pain but a magical spell that stops myself from being birthed into this dire world is an opportunity I wouldn't feel guilty taking.