If anyone will listen, I'd really love to talk right now

[bubbling under]

I'm struggling struggling struggling

 

[mad as a hatter]

hey bubbling under i know how ur feelin i,m also struglin with things but if u wanna talk about it i ain,t got a problem with that

 

[bubbling under]

Thank you so much

I didn't know where else to turn, I've tried talking to my mother about this tonight but it's so hard when I don't want her to worry, which she does.

This is my second week back at work full time, and boy I'm struggling bad. Today has been hell. By 9.30 I was really struggling not to cry, which when you're in charge of someone elses children is totally inappropriate. Especially as I don't even have an office I can go hide in. I'm basically propping the mum up at the moment because her husband is away at sea, she's just gone back to work after maternity leave, plus moved in to a new house which is currently being ripped apart by electricians/plumbers etc. I am her backbone at the moment, but no one is mine . Trying to work in these conditions is nigh on impossible yet I keep telling the mum it'll be fine, and it won't last forever. Trouble is I'm already at my wits end. Not with the children, I adore them, but with the working environment which is adding on the stress I don't need.

Tonight I literally came in the door, had a couple of mouthfulls of food and collapsed on my bed in tears I am far too tired to eat, and it only occured to me tonight I've barely eaten a thing really for quite a few days, I'm so stressed out Plus my gp upped my amitriptyline to 50mg, but I can't take it because it knocks me out for the next day, so that's stressing me as well.

Help, I'm feeling closer to the edge than I've felt in such a long time

 

[mad as a hatter]

it,s not fair u have 2 prop up other people and they shouldn,t expect u 2 either u have 2 look after ur self 2 it must be hard lookin after other peoples kids and goin bk 2 work full time ain,t easy so no wonder ur feelin exhusted with it all r u sure u where ready 2 go bk full time maybe u weren,t at the end off the day u gotta look after ur health ur job comes second crying is not a bad thing either it,s a bit of a release 2 how ur feelin which i could cry i think i,d feel so much better if i could go bk 2 ur gp and say u can,t tk that medication cause off what it,s doin 2 u they might give u somethin else and don,t be so hard on ur self either

 

[bubbling under]

thank you. I had a good chat with jo which seems to have helped a bit. Just hope I can sleep now.

 

[schizzzoid]

Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Just a quick observation, the 'next day knock out' effect of Amitriptyline generally subsides after a couple of weeks.

 

[rollinat]

Yes I agree about not feeling knocked out for too long - initially I couldn't wake up or stay awake in the morning, but that has passed - I take mine a couple of hours before I go to bed (I'm on 200mg) and get to the point that I just have to go to bed or I know I won't be able to make it! But I am ok by the morning. Take care of yourself and as others have said your health is the most important thing.

 

[bubbling under]

Thanks guys, I've been on amitriptyline for some time, it's only very recently my dose was doubled. Actually it was by an out of hours gp after a bad episode and me being dragged down there by my sister. So maybe I need to bear with it a bit longer

Todays not been great either, I've been having bad hip pain and it's got a lot worse today meaning I've not only struggled mentally today, but physically as well <sigh>. Needless to say I'm laid up in bed rattling with co-codamol and ibuprofen, when I should actually be instructing a dance class tonight.

Can things really get any shitter

 

[schizzzoid]

Can things really get any shitter

Yes, it could be me!!!! I'm having a filppant day, I do apologise!

Amytriptyline is prescribed as pain relief, so I'm told, never helped my back though...and it certainly doesn't help me dance, mind you, nothing can! Hope things look a little brighter in the morning.

 

[bubbling under]

You've at least made me smile a little so thank you

 

[cloudberry]

What is your job bubbling under? Are you a nanny? It sounds like a lot to take on when you have had to have a break from work, full time straight away. I admire you for coping as well as you are doing, and for coming here for some help, off-loading and glad you got some support when you needed it.

I know I couldnt do it, so really take my hat off to you.

I have a painful hip too, chronic bursitis. I find Ibuleve Gel high strength helps for a little while at least during a flare-up. You may have already tried it of course. I didnt, thought it would be crap, but my dad got me some and it does work for about half an hour or so. Which is at least a break from pain.

I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I also pray. Not sure if I am a total "believer" or not, but I think of it as a focus for Positive Thinking.
I also use Quiet Nite herbal tablets to help me get to sleep, or in the day to keep calm. They have a nice manageable effect.

What are your alternatives if you feel you really cant cope with this situation?

I am sure you will have thought of this obviously, but try and get the kids out of the house for as much time as you can each day to remove yourself and them from the circumstances of the workmen. Being around a disrupted new house is stressful for anyone.

Good luck, and keep posting.

cloudberry

 

[bubbling under]

Cloudberry thank you, you're very sweet.

Yes I'm a nanny, only been with this family since january, 2 days a week, now up to full time as mums gone back to work. I love my job and wouldn't swap it for the world , ok maybe some days . The last family I worked with I was with them for 10 yrs , I am no spring chicken anymore

It has been a hell of a lot to cope with, and the mum has needed me to be positive and supportive these last few weeks, what with a new house being ripped to shreds and a husband away at sea..she really has got her plate full!

I don't know what my alternatives are tbh, although I have put 'mum' in the picture about my hip tonight, so I'll just see if she can come up with any ways of helping me tomorrow. The youngest is just 7 months so all the carrying up and down stairs is a bit of an issue at the moment. Wonder if mum would go for the block and tackle method

Anyhow, things in hindsight could be a lot worse......oh hold on they are I've got 3 children tomorrow instead of 2 <thud>

 

[bubbling under]

A bit of a better day today, knackered after being awake since 4.30am with bad hip pain. But luckily for me my boss is a consultant at the local hospital so she pulled a few strings and got me seen by a dr this afternoon. It's my back which is sending the pain down to my hip apparently, so I'm to keep on taking the recommended meds and hopefully it'll settle down soon. In the mean time I'll just have to get on with it

Boy am I glad to be another day closer to friday.