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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Idealization worries

C

CedarLake

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
21
Location
UK
Hi. I'm new to the forum. I'm starting to worry about myself a bit.

I have BorderlinePD and struggle mainly with the emotional instability, self image problems, self harm urges and dissociation day to day. These all suck, but because i deal with them day to day i know its possible for me to deal with them even if its hard.

It's much rarer for me to struggle with Idealization of other people/Favorite Person etc. Its happened in the past, and its always ended really badly. I just can't seem to deal with these kind of feelings, I'm aware im putting too much on another person but cant stop myself. It makes me hate myself quite strongly, and makes all my other symptoms worse. From past experience, i know that what will happen is that i'll obsess over that person for a while until my paranoia that they hate me takes over, ill completely devalue them after that then will suddenly realize i've neglected everything else and will just collapse emotionally. It all feels really dangerous to me, and its not something i really know how to deal with.

Is this something other people have managed to overcome? Any advice or peoples own experiences would be really appreciate

Thanks :)
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,280
Location
Canada
if i compared you to your favorite person i would find 100X more similarities then differences

dont focus on the few differences and neglect the overwhelming similarities

even humans and dogs share 80% the same dna

if aliens landed on earth they would see no difference between you and your favorite person
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,831
Hi. I'm new to the forum. I'm starting to worry about myself a bit.

I have BorderlinePD and struggle mainly with the emotional instability, self image problems, self harm urges and dissociation day to day. These all suck, but because i deal with them day to day i know its possible for me to deal with them even if its hard.

It's much rarer for me to struggle with Idealization of other people/Favorite Person etc. Its happened in the past, and its always ended really badly. I just can't seem to deal with these kind of feelings, I'm aware im putting too much on another person but cant stop myself. It makes me hate myself quite strongly, and makes all my other symptoms worse. From past experience, i know that what will happen is that i'll obsess over that person for a while until my paranoia that they hate me takes over, ill completely devalue them after that then will suddenly realize i've neglected everything else and will just collapse emotionally. It all feels really dangerous to me, and its not something i really know how to deal with.

Is this something other people have managed to overcome? Any advice or peoples own experiences would be really appreciate

Thanks :)
Hi there hope you are well, and keeping safe in these COVID times :) Regarding the paranoia, communication is key (your paranoia may be unfounded)... I don't know if you have a Therapist etc. but I would hazard a guess that speaking to a Therapist etc. would probably be the best way forward. Hope this helps :)
 
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