I'd really like some help

[Deltaviolet44]

Im 28 , I've had OCD as long as I can remember I went into the doctors when I was 8 and said "if I don't do my compulsions it feels like everyone everyone's going to die"

Since then ive tried fluxitine and it would just make me forget stuff, dizzy and I'd stare at a wall totally zoned out . I stayed on them for two years, mostly because I hated leaving the house so I felt like thats all I had. It's been 6 years since I've taken anything and I've just tried to live with it. I'm slot more soicalable now I'm friends with everyone and I'm happy. But the OCD comes and goes so much and my main compulsion is cracking my jaw, now I started this one to try and forget about other ones because this was quick and easy and it offered temporary relief, but I've done it so much over the last 4 years I've actually got TMJ now, one side of my jaw is unhinged from its connecting point on the top... So it's very painful, but that doesn't stop me doing it. I do it throughout the day, but mostly I do it at night and I do it until the clicks sound right and equal on each side of my jaw...
This routine can go on for 10mins-1hour, or until I just sit up sweating and decide not to sleep, or wait to pass out and lots of tears.
I should mention during this routine I'll like pray at the start of it that nothing happens to me or my family or partner, now that sounds fine and all but I don't even believe in God.

Nobody needs to tell me it's all in my head , or that it's fantasy, believe me I know, but I feel like I HAVE to do it.

Some advice , help or just someone to talk to about it would be great I've left this for so long.

 

[Orwell1984]

Don't crack your jaw.

 

[Cazcat]

Have you ever had CBT? I've heard that can be helpful for OCD although I don't have any first hand experience.

Also have you seen a physio for your TMJ problems? If not ask your GP to refer you as they can help.

 

[seekjoydaily]

OCD

Ouch! That sounds very painful. Sorry you are going through this. Have you sought treatment for your current TMJ issues? I would suggest getting help before it gets worse! Also, I know you said your tried fluoxetine earlier. Maybe it's time to try a different med or try it again to help control your symptoms so that you don't continue to injure your own body. Do you have a mental health professional that you see currently? OCD can't be controlled by your own thoughts or wishes, it's a medical problem that needs treatment like any other disease. I encourage you to go back to your doctor, either your primary care physician or a mental health professional and see about trying other meds to help address your symptoms. Sometimes it's trial and error to find the right med with minimal side effects that will help curb your symptoms. Good luck!

 

[Kemotyw]

Are you also experiencing checking compulsion?
I am struggling with this.

 

[Deltaviolet44]

Hello, thanks for the replys, I go back to the doctor's to talk about the OCD and hopefully try an SSRI , I've tried CBT but it doesn't do anything for me sadly,
I've tried alot more than once with the tmj but it costs 400 pound to get a mold of your teeth or jaw which you wear every night to help discomfort and to get it back in position. But I just can't afford it at the moment.

@kemo I used to get checking compulsions when I was younger, but they kinda switched to clicking joints.