D
Deltaviolet44
New member
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2018
- Messages
- 2
Im 28 , I've had OCD as long as I can remember I went into the doctors when I was 8 and said "if I don't do my compulsions it feels like everyone everyone's going to die"
Since then ive tried fluxitine and it would just make me forget stuff, dizzy and I'd stare at a wall totally zoned out . I stayed on them for two years, mostly because I hated leaving the house so I felt like thats all I had. It's been 6 years since I've taken anything and I've just tried to live with it. I'm slot more soicalable now I'm friends with everyone and I'm happy. But the OCD comes and goes so much and my main compulsion is cracking my jaw, now I started this one to try and forget about other ones because this was quick and easy and it offered temporary relief, but I've done it so much over the last 4 years I've actually got TMJ now, one side of my jaw is unhinged from its connecting point on the top... So it's very painful, but that doesn't stop me doing it. I do it throughout the day, but mostly I do it at night and I do it until the clicks sound right and equal on each side of my jaw...
This routine can go on for 10mins-1hour, or until I just sit up sweating and decide not to sleep, or wait to pass out and lots of tears.
I should mention during this routine I'll like pray at the start of it that nothing happens to me or my family or partner, now that sounds fine and all but I don't even believe in God.
Nobody needs to tell me it's all in my head , or that it's fantasy, believe me I know, but I feel like I HAVE to do it.
Some advice , help or just someone to talk to about it would be great I've left this for so long.
Since then ive tried fluxitine and it would just make me forget stuff, dizzy and I'd stare at a wall totally zoned out . I stayed on them for two years, mostly because I hated leaving the house so I felt like thats all I had. It's been 6 years since I've taken anything and I've just tried to live with it. I'm slot more soicalable now I'm friends with everyone and I'm happy. But the OCD comes and goes so much and my main compulsion is cracking my jaw, now I started this one to try and forget about other ones because this was quick and easy and it offered temporary relief, but I've done it so much over the last 4 years I've actually got TMJ now, one side of my jaw is unhinged from its connecting point on the top... So it's very painful, but that doesn't stop me doing it. I do it throughout the day, but mostly I do it at night and I do it until the clicks sound right and equal on each side of my jaw...
This routine can go on for 10mins-1hour, or until I just sit up sweating and decide not to sleep, or wait to pass out and lots of tears.
I should mention during this routine I'll like pray at the start of it that nothing happens to me or my family or partner, now that sounds fine and all but I don't even believe in God.
Nobody needs to tell me it's all in my head , or that it's fantasy, believe me I know, but I feel like I HAVE to do it.
Some advice , help or just someone to talk to about it would be great I've left this for so long.