I'd Like Some Advice

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Phantom

New member
Joined
Sep 1, 2018
Messages
2
#1
Hello, new poster here. I got an account here because I really need some advice right now.

I'll start by giving a brief summary of my problem: I have OCD that's an unholy combination of "magical thinking" OCD and contamination OCD, ex. "I did something Bad, so I need to wash my hands so Bad Things won't happen." My biggest trigger is a certain name that I have an unpleasant history with. If an individual has that name, I can't physically touch them or touch anything they themselves had touched--I panic if they so much as accidentally brush against me.

I had this symptom for years, but it only recently began to have such a big impact on my daily life. I dorm at college and a person with the name moved to the floor I live on. That means that I can't use the bathrooms or the showers on the floor, as well as not being able to use the washer and dryer--I have to use the facilities on the second floor instead. If I had it my way, I'd just keep doing that for the rest of the semester, but since I'm an idiot I told my mom about the issue I'm facing.

Now, my mom knows about my OCD and triggers. She does her best to understand my condition, and I know she's coming from a place of love. That being said, she hates that I don't "fight against" my triggers and rituals, and this situation was the last straw: she made it clear that I HAD to get over my triggers and told me to think about what I should do "get over" it. I understand where she's coming from, but I'm TERRIFIED of fighting back like that. When I think about using the bathrooms and showers on my floor, I get nauseous and anxious; hell, I can't even open the DOORS without feeling filthy. I tried to explain to my mom that OCD is chronic and can't be "fixed," and while she said that she understood that, I don't actually think that she does--I'm scared that she'll see me struggling on my bad days and bust my chops over "not trying hard enough."

Well, to make a long story short (too late), I want to ask for advice on what to say during my next therapy session. My mom is going to sit in on my appointment so that we can discuss this issue, and my therapist tends to side with my mom when she's there (and yes, I know that's because they're both right). Is there anything I can say to help them understand where I'm coming from? I want my mom to know that I'm genuinely not trying to be difficult, but my OCD can't magically fix itself overnight. So... does anyone have any suggestions/similar stories?

Thank you in advance.
 
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ConfusedNSad

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 26, 2018
Messages
122
#2
Hello there! I just wanted to welcome you to the Forum, being almost brand-new myself. I don't really have any advice for you really. I think your mom and therapist should work on ways of coping with this ritualistic behavior instead of telling you to "just get over it" because it is very hard to "get over" something like this and it has to come from within yourself. I haven't been in therapy in years (I am being told I have to go back to get the issue I have under control now) so I am not sure how they can maybe help you change your thinking maybe a little to make it easier. It is not bad that you feel this way, but I am sure it is so distressing being in a college situation and having so much to worry about. Our eldest is in college, so I understand how tough it is for her...can't imagine having to deal with this issue too. I hope you can get some peace though and I'm glad you posted here. It is nice to see new faces...er...so to speak. Good luck to you!
 
P

Phantom

New member
Joined
Sep 1, 2018
Messages
2
#3
Hello there! I just wanted to welcome you to the Forum, being almost brand-new myself. I don't really have any advice for you really. I think your mom and therapist should work on ways of coping with this ritualistic behavior instead of telling you to "just get over it" because it is very hard to "get over" something like this and it has to come from within yourself. I haven't been in therapy in years (I am being told I have to go back to get the issue I have under control now) so I am not sure how they can maybe help you change your thinking maybe a little to make it easier. It is not bad that you feel this way, but I am sure it is so distressing being in a college situation and having so much to worry about. Our eldest is in college, so I understand how tough it is for her...can't imagine having to deal with this issue too. I hope you can get some peace though and I'm glad you posted here. It is nice to see new faces...er...so to speak. Good luck to you!
Thank you for your input and well wishes! I have dealt with a similar situation a few years before, but it was somewhat easier for me to deal with then (there were two bathrooms on our floor that year). I'm also glad to meet new people on here, and I wish both you and your eldest daughter the best of luck!
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
#4
Hi Phanthom,

I can't begin to imagine how stressful this is for you.

I'm glad that you found the forum and you are very welcome here.

I'm guessing that you are not UK based. If I can gently ask you why is your mother seeing a therapist with you? And also a bit worried about your therapist seeing you with your mother present. Are you of adult age?

I would find it very difficult to speak to a therapist freely with a family member sat in on my discussions. How do you feel about that yourself?

Your mother is not a qualified therapist and really it is a bit much of her to tell you to "recover". You would if you could I know!

Does your college have a student counsellor who you could see on your own? that could be a way forward I'm thinking.:)
 

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