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I'd like a girlfriend but I feel like I cant ever make the connection, I need advice

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biggerdandy

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Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
I'd like a girlfriend but I feel like I cant ever make the connection, I need advice

I'm finding now in my life there are some genuinely attractive women, but I've not dated in years after horrible trust abuse from a previous partner and my own issues.

1. I don't know what to do about depression and anxiety in dating.

2. I feel I am boring, since I keep to myelf a lot and don't do a great deal outside of martial arts, animation and reading, I feel Im quite odd and restricted as a person

3. Gender dysphoria: How the hell do I date someone when I have this? Do I tell them? Do I hide it? What?

4. I've been dumped on grounds of sexual dysfunction. I dont feel anything down there and people my age make a big deal over sex a lot of the time. I can satisfy them, but I dont feel anything and they got upset that I didnt orgasm, and broke it off with me for that. I think its dysphoria related, but Im also ok on my own. I dont know whats happening.


I have no idea what Im doing, but I feel like Im in a position where Im gonna miss out on finding someone, what shall I do?
 
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Verity

Guest
Hi biggerdandy,

I would suggest counselling to work through trust issues, explore your gender dysphoria and sexual dysfunction which may be a psychological or physical issue.

These issues can be very distressing, but can be resolved by talking them through and deciding what you want out of your future relationships.

I wish you the best of luck!

Verity :hug:
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
I have a friend who was struggling with this issue, he also thought that on meds he wasnt charming i however believe, that when you meet the right one you will know it, i believe there is someone for all of us, im quite hopeful here and as for anxiety im sure there are girls out there who like someone they can help, i believe this to be the case speaking from experience.

Also i found that girls who do martial arts are in general a very good choice, maybe there are some girls wherever you train that are interesting, if so then ask them for some sparring. ☺

About gender dysphoria i dont really know much and id love to find some more on it but i cant copy paste on my Web board if no one gives you an answer or adwice regarding this ill find some tommorow.

Also for not feeling down there i dont really know what to tell you as i simply cannot relate, there are sensitivity creams but i have my doubts.

Just some encouragement.
 
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clyde

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
43
I agree with verity. Consult with your doctor about your problems.
 
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biggerdandy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
Ive tried bringing this up, but theres issues

1. Im not on medication, and weve done tests. Theres no nerve damage so they cant understand why I dont feel anything, so they just dont go any further than that, which makes me feel worse.

2. Im currently on CBT but its not helping me, most of the doctors I have had were very dismissive of me when I talked about how I feel about my body and my gender and some got mad at me for it. One of them was very transphobic (I have another topic on this)
 
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biggerdandy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
I have a friend who was struggling with this issue, he also thought that on meds he wasnt charming i however believe, that when you meet the right one you will know it, i believe there is someone for all of us, im quite hopeful here and as for anxiety im sure there are girls out there who like someone they can help, i believe this to be the case speaking from experience.

Also i found that girls who do martial arts are in general a very good choice, maybe there are some girls wherever you train that are interesting, if so then ask them for some sparring. ☺

About gender dysphoria i dont really know much and id love to find some more on it but i cant copy paste on my Web board if no one gives you an answer or adwice regarding this ill find some tommorow.

Also for not feeling down there i dont really know what to tell you as i simply cannot relate, there are sensitivity creams but i have my doubts.

Just some encouragement.
Im not on meds though, Im trying to avoid them at all costs. I was struggling sexually before I was even diagnozed with depression, though I suspect Ive been depressed far longer than Ive been having treatment.

There have only been a handful of girls in my area come to train, they usually arent there for training but to sample the men, date one, go to the next, leave after a few. Shame really
 
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