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I wouldn't say I'm depressed but

RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

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Feb 10, 2010
Messages
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Location
A city in a country.
I don't know how I would class the feeling I've been having the past few months.

I have given up on alot of people. Nobody cares about how I feel or ask how I am, it's always me helping them & sorting out their problems.
Some people have told me not to do this but I can't stop it's like a problem I have. If someone needs me I'm there for them, I guess having the favour returned for a change would be nice you know?

I'm 19 I'm a student.
I should be living life to the full but I don't.
I spend my time in college and home alone in my bedroom doing college work.
I can't afford to go out all the time because my job isn't giving me any work to earn money!!!! :mad:

I use to have a good social life but for the past few months that has just gone out the window.
Nobody really knows I feel this way because I'm extremely good at painting a smile on my face but I keep breaking down & I just don't know what to do.
I'm scared of going the doctors incase their only answer is meds because I don't want to live my life on 'happy pills'

Sorry this is a long post,
any ideas what I can do?

Please :(
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
I think part of what you see as a problem is structure ...
.. when you are at school, the events cascade an form a structure of one thing after another .. classes , social , parties, family,eat sleep...

you get to a certain age and lives diverge and that cascade slows ,.. and you notice the time ...

There will always be people who try and take advantage .. learning to spot them is part of growing up, and learning to deal with them like wise .. if they are capable of doing for themselves .. advise them on course of action, but try not to feel compeled to do for them .....

... alot of people put on the mask when they are out ..., but you are finding it and overwhelming effort .... maybe you should talk to some one .. if not your GP ,.. does where you do your course have a counciler... ?

It may be an idea to look around for a new job, one that gives you money you need .. just dont quit the one you have till you get the new one ...

It may be an idea to get a hobbie if you dont have one ... or even join a club for somthing you enjoy ....

Take care ... boB ... :)
 
S

steppy

Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
12
Hello RedRoseBeauty.
I can empathise with how you feel. It's the same thing that I felt at a similar age. Has something changed to make you feel that way?

It is difficult finding someone to trust with what you want to say and feel. From what you are saying, It's also hard because you seem to be aware of others and maybe think your worries are not as important and that people will not understand yours, because they seem less straight forward,? The truth is, that some people don't. But the thing is there will be someone you know who you can talk to and trust. If someone you know is close to you and loves you unconditionally the thing is even if they dont fully understand they will listen. Avoid isolating your self. The more you spend time thinking alone, you may perpetuate the negative feelings. It is sometimes good to have time alone, but consider speaking to someone, even a GP or counsellor and identify what it is that's made you feel low. It may also be a temporary thing because you may feel overwhelmed so you want to protect yourself as well as others.

Appreciate the positive things around you and take breathers from how you feel. Look at the sky for a bit or a bird. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes it works.
 
RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

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Feb 10, 2010
Messages
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Location
A city in a country.
the thing that has changed is that i don't have a full time job anymore so i can't afford to buy little things to make myself happy and my dad is constantly having a go at me for not paying the £150 keep per month that i use too. I thought going back to college would benefit me in the future because the dream job i want i have to go to college and university, however at present it just causes arguements :/

You are totally right, i believe that because i'm helping people with their problems they won't have time for mine.
what hurts the most is that my best friend doesn't seem to care she is more interested in having sex with her new boyfriend but she gets a new boyfriend every few months and for the first few weeks it's like i don't exist unless she needs to let off steam!
i have to admit that my boyfriend does listen to me he sits there while i bitch and moan however with him being away at university i don't get to see him as often as i would like and that upsets me too!

i'm scared of talking to a counsellor or gp like i said i'm petrified of being put on medication.
 
S

steppy

Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
12
It's sounds like a bit of a difficult time for you at the moment, and perhaps a little bit of a situation where people are not really appreciating where you are and maybe you may not realize where they are (regards to the finances). You can't really change how someone thinks, but you can change the way you think and what you do about it.
It pays to talk to people about the difficulties you are having, especially when they are involved. This may help them to appreciate where you are. Is it possible to get a part time job? I know it can be a bit of pain to do a job and college work, but this may help you to buy the things you want. Maybe even find treats that dont require you to spend money, like a long bath, listening to music for an hour, without interruption, or join a club that is free or only requires a pound or two!!! I can't think of many things, but I'm sure there will be lots of treats that are free!
It's good that you have your boyfriend to talk to (y) and your friend sounds as though she may be oblivious to how you feel.
Not everyone who sees a GP ends up going on medication. I think at the moment you are low and just talking will help. Really the GP should talk through things with you and you can say that you want to avoid going down the medication route. They may be able to forward you on to another service that can help.
Just take it step by step. Avoid letting things overwhelm you and find some peace outside of your home to collect your thoughts. Sit back and look at the situation and see if you can find solutions.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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13,623
Happy pills mmmmmmmm none of hem have made me HAPPY

Good luck on fighting your neagtive feelings
 
iffybob

iffybob

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England
I agree ,.. just cos you go and speek to your Gp does not mean meds .. even if you are offered them .. you dont have to accept the perscription .. or get it filled of you do ...
 
RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

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Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
2,374
Location
A city in a country.
I know that medication isn;t my only option however i fear that if i'm offered them i'll take them and my mum has been on anti-depressants for about 8 years now and she gets really anxious without them and i don't want to be like that.
I didn't mean to offend anyone who is on medication for depression, i apologise i just don't feel it's best for me.

Yeah i have looked for part time work, i do have a job but it's agency work and i get irregular work for example i haven't had any work off them for like 3 weeks and when i do i earn about £20 a week if that!
I am going to keep looking for other work though :)

I know why my friend is the way she is, she's 18 but with a maturity of a 11 year old and she knows when i am down and she asks me to talk but when i do all i get was sorry i wasn't listening which makes me feel so little it's like well if my best friend won't listen to me who will? :(

Alot of stressful situations just keep appearing and I have started being sick again but my boyfriend has been a rock to me recently even though his university studies aren't going so well so i have him to thank for me staying as sane as possible right now.

I think I will visit my GP and explain everything to him, thanks alot guys :)


:thx:
 
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