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I Would Rather Stay a Slave

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sallimae76

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Zoe, than you so much for being my friend. I have asked these voices what I can do, and what have I done. He keeps saying "I'm mad" and "We're apes". I try to reason and ask him what he needs to see from me. How have I disturbed his world view, but he just responds "we're mad" and "ape".

I had NO CHOICE but to support myself in life. I am an ugly girl, who was poor. What does he expect me to do. What can I do to appease him. I can't turn back time and accept the one boy that I rejected in high school. I just wish there was a way to reason with him.

So hard to see the people I grew up make something of themselves. I wanted to be a success story too. I think I am going to have to go to a group home for the mentally ill.
 
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Zoe1

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What can I do to appease him
you cant appease him, and there is no point talking to him
trying to reason or asking him questions

the only way to win is to get medication
which you seem to be putting off doing

💜 :love: :grouphug: 🌠 :hug5: :loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower:
 
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sallimae76

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Zoe,

I am going to the clinic today after work. I will put the cost on my credit card. Can't wait until October 1st. Really don't want to do that, can't afford it, but I have no choice.
 
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Zoe1

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yes I do think its urgent sweetie
get back to us about how its going
because sometimes it takes a bit of adjusting
and we can discuss that

:hug5: :loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower:
 
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sallimae76

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Okay, so I just left the clinic. They will do an intake with me tomorrow morning at 8:30 before I go into work. I have the paperwork with me now, that I will fill out tonight.
 
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sallimae76

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I am calling the suicide prevention line to talk tonight, in the meantime.
 
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Zoe1

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oh Salli I feel a little tearful for you
im so pleased you are getting help
you will feel so much better

:love: :loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower: 🌠
 
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sallimae76

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Thank you Zoe, just got to get through tonight.
 
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sallimae76

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Okay, just got off the phone from a sexual abuse hotline. Tried to post on an athiest site, but when I told my story, a man says that you are supposed to want oral sex at age 13, and that it is normal for toddlers to be sexual. So I won't go on that website anymore.

I am watching tv now.
 
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Zoe1

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k yes dont go to that website , well done

:loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower: 💜
 
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sallimae76

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Zoe, can you keep talking to me to get me through the night?

Is it wrong to want the man to like you, maybe even love you, before he touches you?

Is it okay to decide for yourself, if you want to stay celibate?
 
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Zoe1

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hi Salli , no I cant do that
I will need to clean the kitchen and go to bed

I will be on and off the computer
and then I will reply

no its very good to expect someone nice
who will love you firstly and not rush into anything

there are lots of men like that
I have never met a man who pressured me about sex

its your decision , its your leisure time
for you to enjoy as you wish !

we have silly ideas of being like the people on tv
who are not even real people !

if you cant sleep, try answering other peoples threads
it works for me anyway

:hug5: 💜 🌠
 
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Georgina

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Oct 4, 2019
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Location
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Don't let it get to you in know it is easier said than done but please be strong you are bigger than they're voice that is all they have got is a annoying voice there so Mutch more to you than that. Please listen to me nothing is worth taken your life over.
 
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