I Would Rather Stay a Slave

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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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TRIGGER WARNING!

Child abusers, especially child rapists should get the death penalty. I don't care if the child abuser is a man or a woman either. It can be slow and painful too. :whistle:
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Lots of love and support Sallimae. I was molested when I was younger. I know how bad and dirty it feels. But it's not our fault. It is the fault of our abusers. Please don't feel guilty. You did nothing wrong sweetie. You are clean. :grouphug:
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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screaming "we're mad" and "burn" non-stop in my ear.
Honey I hear voices too. Just recently I heard a creepy male voice call my name and tell me to come here. Voices are terrifying I know. I take an anti psychotic everyday for mine. They have improved a lot. They help me realize I'm having a hallucination when that happens and it calms me down. Do you take an antipsychotic? If not please see a psychiatrist and get put on an antipsychotic. 🤗
 
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sallimae76

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TRIGGER WARNING!

Child abusers, especially child rapists should get the death penalty. I don't care if the child abuser is a man or a woman either. It can be slow and painful too. :whistle:
I use to make excuses for my abusers. My sisters who attempted to expose to porn at age 5, but I ran out, then sat me down again at age 10, has always been jealous, like a lover with me. She now pretends she is a "Christian", and the perfect housewife. She touched my vagina in the bathtub and made me touch hers before the porn (maybe around age 6). I really had no concept of what was going on. My other sister allowed her to do this to me. My other sister (her twin) knew she was showing me porn, yet did nothing to protect me. I believe they chose to show me porn again at age 5 because I had two male nephews the same age that I spent the summer with. We were happy, virgin children. I believe they wanted me to approach my nephews (twins) for sex.

My brother use to leave porn out where I could find it as a child, then he would surprise me and say "I caught you" and acted like he was disciplining me. The truth is that it turned him on to see me watching it as a child. He had sex with his girlfriend on my bed. Don't know why. Till this day he pretends like he is a pillar of the community. He use to talk of "wicked women" in the early days too.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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You don't have to suffer sweetie. There are treatments out there than can help you. There are people that care about you too. I even have visual hallucinations too. But they also improved thanks to my antipsychotic. I never will stop taking my medication again. :cheekkiss::peace::grouphug:
 
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sallimae76

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I have so many more stories, that I am just admitting to. I have cut them off. I will only see them one more time in my life, at my mother's funeral.
 
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sallimae76

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I don't believe this is a medication issue, but yes, I have an appointment to get on some meds. I hope it helps.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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I use to make excuses for my abusers. My sisters who attempted to expose to porn at age 5, but I ran out, then sat me down again at age 10, has always been jealous, like a lover with me. She now pretends she is a "Christian", and the perfect housewife. She touched my vagina in the bathtub and made me touch hers before the porn (maybe around age 6). I really had no concept of what was going on. My other sister allowed her to do this to me. My other sister (her twin) knew she was showing me porn, yet did nothing to protect me. I believe they chose to show me porn again at age 5 because I had two male nephews the same age that I spent the summer with. We were happy, virgin children. I believe they wanted me to approach my nephews (twins) for sex.

My brother use to leave porn out where I could find it as a child, then he would surprise me and say "I caught you" and acted like he was disciplining me. The truth is that it turned him on to see me watching it as a child. He had sex with his girlfriend on my bed. Don't know why. Till this day he pretends like he is a pillar of the community. He use to talk of "wicked women" in the early days too.
TRIGGER WARNING
A male family friend and my mother molested me. My mom even made me take off all my clothes so she could take a pic of my bare behind. I am so angry I threw away that picture! Now I have no proof she did that! I should have showed it to the police! 😠😠That's so gross sweetie. But it's on them not you. You were just a child. You are not to blame. 🤗🤗🤗🤗
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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I don't believe this is a medication issue, but yes, I have an appointment to get on some meds. I hope it helps.
I meant for your hallucinations hun. I recommend therapy for your past trauma. 🤗
 
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calypso

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people who hurt you deeply never move on easily. It's a karmic things. Look Salima, don't you notice those who hurted you has received their part meanwhile ? You are not alone, you are not forgotten, they have been punished, you have been heard ! It's not your fault!
May I point out that her name is Sallimae76 not Salima
 
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tonga kev

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You need to get professional help, medication. Love kev
 
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BrianHorlicks

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He tells me I'm ugly, dumb, not feminine, and that "models" are waiting in a line for anonymous sex, and orgies, and gay clubs and strip clubs. So why is he here with me? Doesn't make sense.
He's gets a sense of power over you, making him feel better, by making you feel bad, makes him feel better.

By reading your thread,
You are bettter and deserve better then that.
 
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sallimae76

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Why doesn't he just kill me? I just don't understand. There is nothing for me in this life. He should only make the ones he loves.
 
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sallimae76

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I am just trying to retreat from all of the sex abuse and the degrading, dehumanizing sex act representations. Why won't he let me live a quiet G rated life?
 
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sallimae76

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I just can't believe he is attacking me for wanting love, and abstaining from anonymous sex acts. Our god is so fucking ugly, I am so deeply disgusted.
 
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linus

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There is nothing wrong actually with sexual desires. It's all relative in the end and one shouldn't feel guilty about this. In the end is all about your actions, if you don't do something against another person's will then you are ok. These are your thoughts actually and they are actually very common amongst people. Don't over think it.
 
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sallimae76

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Once again Linus, I don't know what you are talking about. I want my position on sex and sexuality to be respected. I have the right to self determination. I am not a living sex toy.
 
Parayana

Parayana

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Look @sallimae76, you are experiencing paranoid delusions and are mentally ill with a psychotic episode, part of you knows this otherwise you wouldn't be posting this tuff on a mental health forum. It isn't god talking to you it is fucked up brain chemistry caused by trauma. You need professionaql help and medication, get yourself to a doctor honey.
 
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