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I wonder how much time I've spent lying in bed feeling like this?

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hairybanana

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Busy week work wise here, had things I needed to get done today but haven't been able to motivate myself. Have the afternoon to myself which I'd planned to take advantage of and get heaps done. Haven't done anything yet. Lying in bed. Fell asleep for a bit there. When I woke up I was like, righto get up then you lazy fuck, get your work done. Still lying in bed. Wheeee. Being depressed takes up a lot of my time.
 
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hairybanana

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I don't feel mentally well at all. I haven't been to see my doc like I told my psychologist I would. The fact that she is booked out 6 weeks ahead has just put me off wanting to even worry about it. I can't book in 6 weeks ahead, I have no idea if I'd be able to make the appointment.

Haven't seen my psychologist for a while now. Last time I saw him he said the thing about how he can't help if I don't help myself. It gets under my skin hearing that, though I know it's true. It just leaves me feeling like if I go to an appointment I have to be ready and willing to fight and work on shit. I don't always feel that way. I feel like if I go there and tell him I'm depressed and can't do anything that I'm just wasting his time. So I haven't answered his calls or written back to him. Just probably going to leave that for a while too.

Feeling a bit stuck. Lost. Hopeless.

I don't feel like myself. I don't even feel sane right now.
 
Bod

Bod

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I don't feel mentally well at all. I haven't been to see my doc like I told my psychologist I would. The fact that she is booked out 6 weeks ahead has just put me off wanting to even worry about it. I can't book in 6 weeks ahead, I have no idea if I'd be able to make the appointment.

Haven't seen my psychologist for a while now. Last time I saw him he said the thing about how he can't help if I don't help myself. It gets under my skin hearing that, though I know it's true. It just leaves me feeling like if I go to an appointment I have to be ready and willing to fight and work on shit. I don't always feel that way. I feel like if I go there and tell him I'm depressed and can't do anything that I'm just wasting his time. So I haven't answered his calls or written back to him. Just probably going to leave that for a while too.

Feeling a bit stuck. Lost. Hopeless.

I don't feel like myself. I don't even feel sane right now.

It use to really get my goat right up when they said to me, I have to put more into it as they can't help me till I do so I can understand that feeling only to well so I won't push that on you at all. As we have to try and do it in our time and slowly.
 
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hairybanana

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It use to really get my goat right up when they said to me, I have to put more into it as they can't help me till I do so I can understand that feeling only to well so I won't push that on you at all. As we have to try and do it in our time and slowly.
Cheers Bod 👍 yeah I find it really like a kick in the guts when he says it. I mean I got to the point where I couldn't even shower before heading out for my appointment. It took all my energy just to show up for the appointment and then it feels like I'm not doing enough. Ugh. So yeah, haven't been back to see him since then. I feel like I can't go back unless I'm healthy, which makes no sense. Plus, I never went to my doc and would have to explain that, don't wanna do that haha
 
Bod

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For me it always seemed as though I was forever saying the same thing to different people, so sadly in the end I sacked it till I really did need the help and thank god I got it that time.
 
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hairybanana

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For me it always seemed as though I was forever saying the same thing to different people, so sadly in the end I sacked it till I really did need the help and thank god I got it that time.
I hear you mate, I'm sorry it had to get to that point for someone to hear you. It shouldn't be like that. But I know what you mean.
I wonder if psychologists become desensitised somewhat to talk of suicide. My last appointment I felt like I had to scream to get him to hear me. It did work that time, am supposed to get that med review but still haven't gotten around to it. I really need to get it together and get that sorted
 
Bod

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I look back on it now and think how the hell did I manage to always say the same to them all, and I think I was just on auto pilot most of the time till we took each other seriously.
 
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hairybanana

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I look back on it now and think how the hell did I manage to always say the same to them all, and I think I was just on auto pilot most of the time till we took each other seriously.
Yeah but some of them are kind of useless, I wouldn't put it all on yourself. I remember seeing this therapist a long time ago--It was actually after the first time I'd attempted--and man she was the worst. Turned me off the whole concept of therapy for a long time. So she knew how bad I was struggling but kept telling me to "think positive". Yeah righto, that'll fix me up, thanks heaps.
 
Bod

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The very first psychiatrist I ever saw was totally crap, as he said you need to just pull your socks up as you are a problem child this was back in the 1970s. I just thought WTF have you just said as I was leaving he said Don't worry you will grow out of it, but back then here in the UK even talking about mental health was a taboo subject.
 
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hairybanana

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The very first psychiatrist I ever saw was totally crap, as he said you need to just pull your socks up as you are a problem child this was back in the 1970s. I just thought WTF have you just said as I was leaving he said Don't worry you will grow out of it, but back then here in the UK even talking about mental health was a taboo subject.
Ooph that's bad. Very bad. Far out I'd wanna give that guy a piece of my mind
 
Bod

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I did in the end and it was the only time my parents did not tell me off for swearing :D
 
Bod

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Well I'm 60 now and when I told him back then he would of been in his 50s so I doubt he is about now.
 
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