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I wish I was not me

dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,000
Location
australia
..often people mistake my care for an excuse to be my actually really 'care'!

the title here suggests that I need some understanding...

it's a real shame that I can survive without anybody else....

and once again I prove otherwise...

I wish I did not care
 
Parissa

Parissa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2014
Messages
234
Location
Bedford
Change yourself into someone you do like.

Love Parissa
:)
 
A

act044

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
333
I've been surviving on my own for as long as I can remember . No one likes me. I'm so quiet and people mistake it for bitchiness . When I do get the courage to speak people mistake it for flirtation . I finally found someone who loves me for me. Someone who accepts all my flaws and stands by me through everything. Like the other said if you don't like yourself you can make changes to better like yourself. I made a few changes to better like myself. I have always hated the choices I've made ; drugs , drinking, sleeping around ect. I quit the drugs with the help of my hubby . I don't drink anymore thinking about it makes me sick now. I also quit sleeping around which made me feel not so ashamed by myself. Change is possible. It takes time and a lot of hard work but it is possible. Don't change for others though. Change for yourself. You don't need to change to please others. The people that matter will care for you ad yourself. The people who don't matter will never be happy with you. I've learned in the years of trying to impress people that it doesn't work and I finally found someone who likes me as is . Someone who doesn't want me to change but supports my decisions of bettering myself. I thought I would be alone forever because people only used me for sex but once I started to respect myself and not let people take advantage of me more meaningful people started to take notice. I still don't have any friends other than my hubby and this girl from high school and that's all I need. People who love me for me and stick by me througb everything. That is all I need. People who care for me not the front I put on. You will find someone. It may not happen today or tomo but it will eventually. I know how hard it is to make friends as I'm socially awkward and have nothing to say so I've given up on that . I have all the people I need and I'm content with that. I hope you find what you are looking for and eventually become happy with who you are. I finally have respect for myself and noticed that more people respect me. Once you do you will be able to pick out the good from bad. I've noticed when I don't put out certain people quit talking to me also when I found a bf people quit talking to me. You find out who is really in it for you and not to get something from you. I hope you find peace with yourself .
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,000
Location
australia
...I certainly admire your attitude and I definitely am grateful for it.

I also understand that such emotional satisfaction is not available to me as it has been available to you.

you are inspiring.

...inspiration is not enough for me and satisfaction from another?...is innefective.

if changing my mind about myself was as easy as finding some-one that A: wants to rescue me...

or B: wants to rescue themselves and selects me as the ultimate chance to be forgiven.

I would love some emotionally inadequate individual to sacrifice themselves to boost my in-ability to do the same.

I am ok with my illness...I do not need some poor and accidental foolish person to prove themselves by saving me. which is impossible..

some say I am a psychopath...

others say I am a sociopath...

I say I am both...

warm and cuddly is a fantasy that most people die trying to achieve.

I survive to tell them that it is foolish.

the only thing I am ashamed of?...

is that I forget that love is something that is best kept secret
 
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