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I wish I could fall asleep forever

valleygirl

valleygirl

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Apr 5, 2015
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Location
Valley of dry bones
I have to die. I have been reaching out for years. Nothing is helping. Meds, therapy--conventional and non-conventional. I've been trying to hold on for years. I'm still in therapy, still on meds. My life is closing in on me. I've tried for so long to survive, to be strong, but I am not strong anymore. There's no room for anymore mistakes in my life. There's too much pressure and I can't handle it anymore.
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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Joined
Jan 1, 2013
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8,923
Location
Coventry, England
I feel exactly the same, believe it or not.

I don't have the answers, but I think it would be a waste for you to just go to sleep.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,974
Location
Valley of dry bones
Everything is swirling around inside my head faster faster faster and I can't deal with it all anymore.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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Dec 28, 2014
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508
I am so sorry that things were so bad :( How are you feeling today? :hug:
 
SadSoul

SadSoul

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Joined
Apr 25, 2015
Messages
71
Suicide is not possible. I think that we are not allowed. Regardless, you are succumbing to negative thinking. Depression goes down like a spiral. It spibs down and down grabbing things on its way. You need to take control if your thoughts.

Do you keep a mood chart? Get one. Put it on your wall.

Do you have a list of depression symptoms? Write them down. Keep it stuck on your wall.

This will all help you to detach yourself from depression. At the monent you are entwined.

There is you. Think my name is... I am x years old. I am loved by .... my strengths are.... I'm good at.... I have achieved.... I like rain hitting my window. I like fireworks and Christmas.

I have a small photobook of my favourite times.

We are here to help.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,974
Location
Valley of dry bones
Still not doing any better. I can't go to the hospital, because I have a summer class that starts on Monday, and I have to get my apartment cleaned up (it's in a really bad state) because there are going to be fire safety inspections on Tuesday. But I have no energy to do anything, and if they see my apartment the way it is now I will be evicted.
I am so sorry that things were so bad :( How are you feeling today? :hug:
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
((((valleygirl)))) I can imagine it must be quite difficult for you. :hug1:

Could you perhaps start small, regarding cleaning the apartment? When I am at my lowest, I find it incredibly difficult to even get out of bed. If I do manage to do it, and start by cleaning something small (I say, 15 minutes cleaning at first), then I find energy to clean a bit more. Maybe not look at the whole goal, but just small steps, perhaps it will even help you to do it.

(Is there any helpline you could call btw?)

Let us know how you're doing :hug:
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Apr 5, 2015
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1,974
Location
Valley of dry bones
I got up at 10 this morning and went back to bed around noon, and stayed there until 4 pm. Had some rice mixed with melted cheese. Feeling minutely better.
 
rubyrose

rubyrose

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Nov 13, 2013
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1,323
Location
Where flowers bloom
I got up at 10 this morning and went back to bed around noon, and stayed there until 4 pm. Had some rice mixed with melted cheese. Feeling minutely better.
Glad you're feeling better, even if only a little bit. I've been concerned about you, sweetheart.
 
O

one-less

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Joined
Feb 13, 2015
Messages
53
I got up at 10 this morning and went back to bed around noon, and stayed there until 4 pm. Had some rice mixed with melted cheese. Feeling minutely better.
A little is better than none at all. Great work :)
 
SadSoul

SadSoul

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Apr 25, 2015
Messages
71
It'll still be up and down as you get better but I'm relieved you are up and eating.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Thanks for the update honey :hug: It's good to hear you had some good moment :hug:
 
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