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I wasted my life... (No advice)

frisas45

frisas45

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I did everything to survive through these last five years... I knew DAMN well that was wasting my life... I should've done something more constructive. I wanted to chase my dreams, but survival stopped me. Had to encounter unbelievable stuff to get by... I feel regret. Life is short, but it throws curveballs to prevent us from enjoying it. Life is a malicious being.

So tired...
 
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Orangeade

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Dec 23, 2021
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I did everything to survive through these last five years... I knew DAMN well that was wasting my life... I should've done something more constructive. I wanted to chase my dreams, but survival stopped me. Had to encounter unbelievable stuff to get by... I feel regret. Life is short, but it throws curveballs to prevent us from enjoying it. Life is a malicious being.

So tired...
Sending you love x
 
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IDontCare99

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@frisas45 Same.

I really wanted to stay in school, and had a decent job (even if it was chaotic).

I felt so much joy and pride in myself when I went to class, and dressed up for work. I just wish things would've turned out differently to where I had a fair chance at the job I was at, and it wasn't made completely impossible. I felt like a lost puppy all day. Before that, I was just surviving, and it was horrible. Now I'm back to square one...surviving lol

Life can be so cruel. :rofl2:
 
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Mister Vertigo

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Maybe the cause of many people's regrets about life are erroneously based on the lie that life is 'supposed to be happy & fulfilling', when a more realistic view might be that life is hard, even when you seem to have it easy, and that the key to a peaceful life is all in the mind. It can't be found externally. Not a job, relationship, money, family even. This isn't advice, but you could do worse than accept it as such. The alternative is to blame it all on external events that just 'happen' to you, which in my exp, is the real waste of time. Society in general seems to have completely lost its way.
 
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IDontCare99

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@Mister Vertigo People can say all day long, you can't find peace with money...

But much of our stress relates to money, because paying bills etc etc etc.

When you are a single parent, it's like that.
 
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Mister Vertigo

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@IDontCare99 I know that. I am one, and struggling with it. But having seen both sides, I know it's an illusion to be always thinking 'if only I had more of x, y, or z'. The best thing to have is peace of mind, and you can have that whether poor or stinking rich.
 
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IDontCare99

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@Mister Vertigo Yeah, but when your poor, the middle class judges you...I honestly don't care what they think, but it matters and they make the laws on everything and run school boards. There is never peace. Always pressure to be superwoman.
 
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Mister Vertigo

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@IDontCare99 I agree, everybody judges, regardless of class. There is peace though. You may not have found it yet, but that does not mean it does not exist. There is no pressure to be super anything (mum, dad, yacht owner, social media influencer, rock star, actor), It is all in the mind.
 
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IDontCare99

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@Mister Vertigo It's not about judgement. I judge them, they judge me. I don't give a crap what they think (as I said), as they don't care what we think. I live in a very conservative state, and it's so hard to deal with. I live with constant paranoia, which has caused me to not always be the best mom.

It's like living in a fishtank.
 
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IDontCare99

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I don't think they are bad people...just out of touch when it comes to certain things. That's the only reason I judge them, is because they don't know how hard it is trying to keep up with them. Like that full house Michelle meme "wait I have little legs" lol

I do understand their tax money is helpful to the poor and many are nurses and cops, but they all start to feel like law enforcement after a while.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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There are some users say that life is hard. I am not stupid. In fact, it's all about suffering. I hate myself because I am not strong enough to handle it. It's because I have to work meticulously hard, even to the point of sacrificing my health. Sometimes, I have to endure abuse to toughen up. But after years of struggles, I came to the fact that I can't handle that. I'm done. I want to have a different perspective of life, just like 7 years ago. I was in my early 20s and was happy. I believe I can be happy again. I will force myself to be. Because I failed surviving through life's sufferings.
 
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Mister Vertigo

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@IDontCare99 To look at them simply as being good for their tax dollars, but otherwise they may as well be law enforcement watching you, I am not sure is a healthy way to look at it, but each to their own. Do you see my point though, that this view is the work of your own mind, rather than the way it really is. How do you know they don't know how hard it is. A second ago you assumed I was one 'of them', which is incorrect. Know what I mean? it's second guessing, which can be dangerous. If you really don't care, then it shouldn't bother you.
 
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Mister Vertigo

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@frisas45 I don't know if it is ALL about suffering, but seeing as you recognise it is not a bowl of cherries all the time, then you are at least ahead of those who are convinced 'I should be happy. It's not fair'. It'll all be okay in the end.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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@Mister Vertigo

Well, I never said life's rosy. And I don't expect life should be 100% happy. But I'm fed up with my miserable life, and I will make it joyful (It's not materials, friendships, anything- I just need to change my thinking process). That's why I posted this here. I'm sick of excess unhappiness, and life's too short to be wasted like that. :)
 
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