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I was just diagnosed; not happy about it

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damnmouse

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Seattle
#1
Hey everybody, I've been doing pretty well for years. I had a diagnosis of ADHD from when I was a teenager and would occasionally have melancholy states, which isn't uncommon for ADHD. Right now my providers feel that this was actually bipolar II, I was diagnosed on Saturday, and I have a ton of questions. I hate the whole process, I feel like I've been rushed onto bipolar meds after a 25 minute skype conversation with someone I never met. I don't understand fully what the meds will do to my body, personality, energy levels, or anything. I don't fully know how reversable it is if I decide I hate them and want to quit.

Anyway, at normal I'm pretty hyperactive. I like having energy. I don't become very aggressive and haven't had any psychottic features, or a set of behaviors that would've flagged me earlier as being bipolar. I do get suicidal ideations, racing thoughts, I go on spending sprees, I can be eccentric. I consider some of my eccentricity to be a gift and fear a loss of it, or a loss of the energy it requires to be that way.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
330
Location
California, US
#3
I do get suicidal ideations, racing thoughts, I go on spending sprees, I can be eccentric
Wow that's a lot to deal with. Dont let fear of medicine divert you from getting the care that will really even out your moods. The symptoms of the illness is worse than the side effects of drugs, please give medication a chance to work for you before leveling judgments on it.

I sympathize about the health system it can seem rather impersonal and hasty at times and this is mostly due to it being overwhelmed. Are you receiving therapy and if so how is that working for you?
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
213
Location
Florida
#4
Wow that's a lot to deal with. Dont let fear of medicine divert you from getting the care that will really even out your moods. The symptoms of the illness is worse than the side effects of drugs, please give medication a chance to work for you before leveling judgments on it.

I sympathize about the health system it can seem rather impersonal and hasty at times and this is mostly due to it being overwhelmed. Are you receiving therapy and if so how is that working for you?
Ditto I agree completely with the help of medications-although I hate them. Without meds I would be instutionalized
 
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damnmouse

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Seattle
#6
Are you receiving therapy and if so how is that working for you?
I am recieving therapy but I'm new to counselling as a patient. I sometimes feel uncomfortable in the office because I at this point am not sure what my priorities should be when I'm there. I initially came in because of sleep issues where I was waking up with a sense of urgency or need to act about six times a night and I was feeling like I was having memory issues, this was diagnosed as PTSD. My providers didn't have a fantastic relationship with me when I was younger, and basically from the time I was seventeen until today I never saw a doctor or counsellor for anything except strep throat.

The therapy seems to have helped with some of my anxiety, or I've found ways to cope outside of the office, I'm not sure which. I'm pretty extrovered and like to process out loud so it could be of benefit; I don't think most of my friends want to hear about my sleep issues or suicidal ideations for example so a place where I can speak in confidence is appropriate.
 
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damnmouse

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Seattle
#7
Are you receiving therapy and if so how is that working for you?
I am recieving therapy but I'm new to counselling as a patient. I sometimes feel uncomfortable in the office because I at this point am not sure what my priorities should be when I'm there. I initially came in because of sleep issues where I was waking up with a sense of urgency or need to act about six times a night and I was feeling like I was having memory issues, this was diagnosed as PTSD recently, likely from having been an emergency responder. When I was younger I had some experiences that caused me to mistrust the medical industry, and basically from the time I was seventeen until today I never saw a doctor or counsellor for anything except strep throat.

The therapy seems to have helped with some of my anxiety, or I've found ways to cope outside of the office, I'm not sure which. I'm pretty extrovered and like to process out loud so it has potential for me; I don't think most of my friends want to hear about my sleep issues or suicidal ideations for example so a place where I can speak in confidence is appropriate.
 
D

damnmouse

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Seattle
#8
Ditto I agree completely with the help of medications-although I hate them. Without meds I would be instutionalized
They do miracles for people with symptoms that are dangerous or make them miserable. I'm glad they are there to help people. I'm concerned they're over prescribed sometimes, and wonder if mine is such a case.

I would've never been compelled to see a psychaitrist if I hadn't gone in to talk about my sleep issues, though. I feel like all the sudden I'm bipolar and I'm expected to change everything and take a medication regiment, which will not restore me to the way I was before I came in to the office, but rather make something new and unknown. Possibly I'll gain weight and develop diabetes. Possibly it'll flatten out parts of my personality I feel like I get positive feedback about. I'm not sure if this is better than mood fluctuations in my case, if I actually do have a mood disorder. Having diabetes is way more likely to kill me than some of my traits which have been described as bipolar.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
330
Location
California, US
#9
I sometimes feel uncomfortable in the office because I at this point am not sure what my priorities should be when I'm there.
I get that. In particular when I wonder if pulling on a thread may make me unravel. In addition, I frustrate myself because I like to organize my thoughts - I'm more comfortable writing for this reason. By in large, we get to the heart of things in therapy regardless of where we begin so long as we can be open and honest.

I feel like all the sudden I'm bipolar and I'm expected to change everything and take a medication regiment, which will not restore me to the way I was before I came in to the office, but rather make something new and unknown
Certainly not change everything. A diagnosis is at the same time frightening and relieving. The unknown is always scary, the fact that Bipolar is well known and treatable can be comforting.

I fully support your skepticism of the diagnosis and even whether medicine is the best means with which to treat your condition. However, be very mindful that motivated reasoning masquerades as skepticism with respect to psychiatry and especially psychiatric medicine. "I don't know what I will feel like if I take medication" does not mean "I do know - and it will be worse." "I am concerned and a little scared of these medications" is common, understandable and is a conversation for you to have with your doctor.

There is no predetermined path from antidepressant to weight gain to diabetes. Side effects vary. At any time these variables can be interrupted in any case. Nightmare scenarios belong in the bucket of very rare outcomes. The scenario where your symptoms rescind and your functionality and mood improves belongs in the picture under very common outcomes.