- Aug 22, 2019
- Boston, MA
Hey everyone. I have been dealing with my anxiety since middle school and recently it has become very debilitating. I haven't been able to hang out with anyone except my boyfriend without experiencing some anxiety. My boyfriend's best friend got engaged and we were invited to their engagement party and I could not attend. I just do not have the ability to go to such a function with so many people. I made up an excuse that my friend was in town and would not be able to go. I've been dreading attending the wedding. A wedding? A big wedding? No thank you. I cannot handle it. I keep trying to think of ways to avoid it but there is no backing out of that. My boyfriend is the best man. He would be so upset if I didn't go. Yesterday I recieved an invite in the mail for the bridal shower. It was addressed to just me. As it goes, bridal showers are usually just women. How am I expected to attend something like that without my safety blanket that is my boyfriend? I cannot do it. As soon as I saw the invite I physically felt sick. I got nauseous and started shouting NO NO NO and sobbing. I am TERRIFIED to attend this. My boyfriend is begging me to go. He says its embarassing that I bail out of everything we/I am invited too. I told him how I feel, how it physically makes me ill to think about going. He just does not understand. I've been crying all day thinking about this. How do I decline without insulting the bride? How do I hide? I want to not be a thought in these peoples minds. I don't want to be invited to these things. I don't want to be included. I wish I could tell them this. No one understands though. I don't know what to do. I feel very miserable and misunderstood. I am not trying to be rude. I am not trying to embarrass my boyfriend. But I physically cannot handle going to this event. Especially alone. I cannot do it.