I was discharged from hospital yesterday

Pixie37

Pixie37

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Hiya everyone,
I was put back in hospital a week ago. My quetiapine was doubled. My nurse gave me a worksheet to do in hospital so now i understand all the emotional states i jump in and out of. My pdoc discharged me yesterday and i was sobbing cause i'm still getting suicidal and hearing voices and feels like he etc doesnt care. Dont understand last monday he was going to section me. Now he says people with bpd should only be for a short time. I almost took all of my quetipine last night.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Pixie babes......great you are back, and greater you are still with us. Huggy hug hug hugs!
Don't leave us....I've missed you hon!
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Hey Pixie,
Glad you are out but its not such a happy thing to hear you are still struggling - hope you will cope alright.
(((hugs)))
KS
 
amathus

amathus

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goodness knows!
Glad to hear you're back home Pixie, but sorry to hear of your
probs.
You will manage to work through it, in time. Keep posting.

qf.
 
A

Allyke

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Sorry you're still struggling Pixie. It's great to see you again though! Hugs xx
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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I dont trust my psyciatrist now. I dont want to see my nurse on Friday. Who discharges someone who is still totally suicidal and hearing voices? I am planning my death and not returning anyones texts or calls. I will not ask for help ever again.
 
dib4uk

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Pixie its vital that u tell someone how you feel, ask for a new pyschiartirst and nurse. please dont suffer in silence x
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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Last night a doctor and the police came out. I'd drank a bottle of wine and was taking an overdose. Doctor was going to section me if i didnt go voluntary. I got taken back to the ward. Then a male nurse breathalised me and then said because your over the limit i can stop this interview whenever i want. I just said "Oh well i'll just go then " and i walked out and back home. I tried to commit S another way this morning.
 
A.m.b.e.r

A.m.b.e.r

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Ahh Pixie I am so glad you were back, I was just wondering if you were okay and thats why i logged in to check the website. I am so sorry to hear that you are not doing so well. Its a real pig of the Dr's to confuse people by saying things like "we are going to section you" and then telling you you have to leave. It happened to me and to be honest I don't know if its a good idea to be discharged early when you still feel that doubt in yourself ... Stay on here and keep talking and everyone can offer you the most support. If you really don't feel right I would call the Dr or hospital and tell them you must come back in. For your own good if thats how you feel deep inside.

XXX lots of kisses ;)
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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Sorry i'm still a mess. Thats evil my pdoc discharging me when i'm still totally suicidal with no family or friends to look after me. Its made me feel 10 times worse than i did. That my pdoc and nurses dont care that i'm suicidal. I am being treated differently cause i have BPD not bipolar or schizophrenia like my fellow patients. And my pdoc said this "i know its harsh" feel like they not hearing or caring i'm seriously ill. I've given up asking for help. :(
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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Awww pixie im sorry that things seem pointless right about now, but the only thing that i can say is that it will improve over time. you will feel better.... i know that its not much in the words of encouragements but thats all i can say.

Its horrible when you feel soo low that nothing helps, and its horrible that your care team is not helping at all.
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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My head has gone like this - I just want to die. This is the end of the line. Its time for me to get out of here. I just have to decide on the way i want to die. Then i'll do it when noone is worried about me and they think i'm fine. I want revenge too its payback time for all the people who've hurt me.
 
A

Allyke

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Pixie, please stay safe...it sounds like this hospital have put you through hell and I can't believe they thought it was ok to dismiss you like that. I wish I could do more than say please believe that it will get better...I know that probably seems impossible at the moment...xx
 
A.m.b.e.r

A.m.b.e.r

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Pixie do you have an emergency contact to call on your care plan? Or how bought lying in bed having a good cry then just closing your eyes ... I know that sounds like soppy advice but sometimes when I am at my worst thats what I do, then hopefully you will just wake up tomorrow and you can contact your CPN .
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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I took the courage and phoned my advocacy worker for help this morning. I told him i've tried to commit suicide twice since Monday. He says no point in him trying to talk to my pdoc again as he is adamant hospital is not in my best interest. Advoc worker says meds don't really work for bpd and bpd is more pyscological and i should have a psycolist but i dont. I hung up the phone on him. He hasnt called back. I have given up and gone back to bed with my S thoughts all ouer the place.
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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I had to phone my nurse cause i was in bed terrified of what i might do. So i've had a long talk with her on the phone about things. She says the thoughts are just thoughts they are not you. And that we are going to work on this tomorow to help me understand what is going on then i'll feel better once i have control cause she says these suicidal thoughts are not going to stop. She says i've to pop out of bed even just for a coffee :) :(
 
A

Allyke

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((((Pixie)))) Your nurse talks sense...Hope you're ok xx
 
A.m.b.e.r

A.m.b.e.r

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Yeah that sounds like nice/and true things your Nurse said. Let us all know how the session went Pixie. I think I can speak for everyone to say that we are all thinking about you & wanting to support you the best that we can. ((hugs for Pixie)) x
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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I just want to say a big thank you to you all for your kind support since i was discharged.
So THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH :thankyou: :flowers: (y) :thanku:

:grouphug:
 
delatext

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Hi Pixie sorry you are going through hell like this, can you get to see your GP to explain how bad you feel ?
or could you phone Samh http://www.samh.org.uk/contact.php they could offer support, although your GP could do this, you could get a support worker to provide you with practical and emotional support so you would not be alone ?
I wish I could do more for you we care about you so please do not hurt yourself
 
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