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I was constantly Harassed and Bullied in college

M

MedicalUnicorn

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Venus
Hey everyone!

I will tell you where it all started,,
I went to study abroad.
during the first day in uni i immediately started noticing weird stares and glaring from random students who don't even know me. However, some of my colleagues were really nice to me so i just ignored the crazy ones.
I was a very nice person when i first started medicine I wasn't judgmental, arrogant, or mean. Funny despite being a medical student I'm not even competitive and I don't care about being in the spot light like many med students.
So I wasn't quiet sure what made so many students here despise me before i even got a chance to open my mouth. maybe they were suspicious of me due to my foreign looks.

anyways, during orientation week i got lost and asked random students about the way.they didn't even care to hear the name of building i was asking about they just turned me away so rudely and glared at me.
almost everyday in this uni I was harassed, glared at, even bullied in some instances. I kept ignoring it everyday and tried to focus on the good things and the good people in my life. but year after year as i grew stronger so did the harassment.
I tried my best to keep a positive attitude until I couldn't anymore I reached a breaking point specially after breaking up with my boyfriend. I struggled with concentration and studying I scored so bad in most exams, i was too afraid to go to uni or leave my home cause i also get harassed very often in the streets. I was working so hard and doing the best i could but unfortunately i failed one subject, the test was oral and the doctor was so rude and told me i was a bad student. when i told students about the questions i got and my answers, they all said he doesn't like the country i come from and many students tried to complain about him in the past.
after this incident things kept getting worse, there was this one student who said things about me that weren't true to one of my classmate then she and her friends turned against me, it really hurt my feelings because i really liked my classmates i was confused at first i didn't know why they behaved like that, but then i realized that dumb student heard a story about the crazy girls who gave me troubles in elementary school and through gossiping my classmate thought i was talking about her WTF!
i tried to put all this behind me and start new and fresh in the new academic year but my mental health is still the same, although i don't cry almost everyday as in the past but now I cannot trust or love anybody in this uni, i lost faith in my colleagues and doctors, I'm constantly waiting for who is gonna do the next move to hurt me, I have crazy thoughts my future teachers which I didn't meat yet will fail me just because they're not gonna like me, and I have no motivation to study anymore.I will be senior next year and I'm so stressed and anxious, I lost hope. after regular harrassment i feel so ashamed of myself and I don't want anyone to see me, I wish i could cover my face or go invisible, I can't stand being in a classroom with my colleagues i constantly feel they're judging me and want to see me miserable.
I'm so worried I want to start believing in myself again.

I also used to have so many flashbacks about all the harassment I went through. could it be PTSD?? I'm not sure what is it I'm going through.
When I first arrived into this country I couldn't speak the language well But I could undertstand few words.
Most of the Harassments I experiences were:

- Verbal threats (yelling at me to leave their country and I'm not welcomed there)
- insults and racist jokes (they will often look me down and laugh loudly at me and try to make me feel little, just like in TV shows -_-)
- there was one incident a woman randomly pushed me and glared at me
- one time I took public transport and everyone on the bus glared at me I though I was gonna be attacked but good thing I was leaving the next stop
- many times people will skip me on purpose in lines
- people ask me rudely to move on if i didn't notice them and blocked their way
- people always made me feel like I'm polluting their country, they look at me as if I were the devil :(
- one time there was this creepy man who was talking nonsense and touched my hand in the bus I felt uncomfortable and tried to move away and I noticed some girls in the bus looked at me like I was a s*** (I'm against shaming women and using such words but I couldn't find a better way to describe the look in their eyes)
- one time a man randomly yelled "Wh***" at me
- some teachers in school often treat me differently than my colleagues

and all that just due to the fact I'm a foreigner here.

I wonder if this is something many people experience when they are abroad or is it something wrong with that place I'm in.
I know I'm not perfect but I strongly believe there is nothing noticeably wrong with me either, I manage to make friends with good people, I'm not rude to anyone, I try to keep a straight face in public and don't stare at people for no reason.

I just want to know how to cope with such a thing, it's insane!!!!


sorry I didn't mean to make it too long
 
B

BeStrong2020

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
74
Location
Asia
Hi Medical Unicorn, I'm sorry about your experience! I'm actually really confused as to why people have treated you this way... May I ask which country are you studying in? And which country are you from? Could it be the way your dress or anything like that? Please fill me in so I can give you some help! :)
 
M

MedicalUnicorn

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Venus
Hi,

I'm sorry for responding late. I was overwhelmed with schoolwork!
I know this is vague for people cause I didn't mention my nationality and where I'm currently studying, I was trying my best to avoid anything that could sound racists or hateful.
I come from a middle eastern country and I'm studying in a country in central europe ( I really don't want to mention the name of the country ). also my country is often portrayed negatively in media, people think we're crazy and women are treated like shit and that's not true!

I grew up being muslim and I wear a headcovering (known as Hijab to some)
and I think my headcovering is the reason I'm being harassed. But It's crazy to me I see women here wearing it and they never complain about being harassed, sometimes when I ask them about it they tell me they really don't care about these people, and it doesn't get under their skin.

many people were kind to me and accepting I'm not gonna generalize.
I blame the media for this they often portray religion very badly. It's funny I don't consider myself religious I love philosophy and all kind of theories about god and existence. I don't even practice everything in religion.

My bestfriends back home don't wear hijab, some of them don't pray, and we all accept each other we never tried to change one another. no one think they're better or right just because they're relgious or not.

I think people assume religious people don't tolerate anyone or anything and want everyone to convert and be religious like them. But this is not true most of the time.

It's funny how people harass me here as if i offended them or something. I didn't do anything to them. I feel I'm being judged harshly and unfairly all the time, people want to make me the villain. ="(
It hurts to think about it.

I even tried to go outside without my hijab many times because I was really tired of being harassed, I just want to feel like a human. people treat me nicely and differently.

But I don't want to show up to uni without it, I like wearing it, I just wish no one will harass me that's all. and i feel ashamed and weak for caring so much about what people think.

=(
what are your ideas??
 
M

MedicalUnicorn

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Venus
I accept all people! muslims christian jewish atheist, gay, white, black, brown, rich, poor..
I really think all what matters is to be kind to one another.

It's unfair how people treat me :(
It's like people are so desperate for drama and want to make someone a villain and they chose me. because they just enjoy seeing me unfortunate. so they want to find all the reasons to believe I'm a bad person. they don't want to believe that they are the ones who are being hateful and intolerant.
 
M

MedicalUnicorn

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Venus
They also see me as an easy target because i don't look threatening at all. that way they can achieve their victory easily.

why some people are this crazy ? :"(
 
M

MedicalUnicorn

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
22
Location
Venus
I don't feel safe at uni anymore I feel like people are pointing their guns at me.

I really need help to stop feeling this way!
 
Mario82

Mario82

Taking a break
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,781
Location
UK
Hi MedicalUnicorn. All I can say is those people are vile and had no right to treat you like that. You seem like a nice person and deserve better than that, no idea how you got through it, you must be very strong.
 
Clydol_17

Clydol_17

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2020
Messages
68
Location
Philippines
Hey everyone!

I will tell you where it all started,,
I went to study abroad.
during the first day in uni i immediately started noticing weird stares and glaring from random students who don't even know me. However, some of my colleagues were really nice to me so i just ignored the crazy ones.
I was a very nice person when i first started medicine I wasn't judgmental, arrogant, or mean. Funny despite being a medical student I'm not even competitive and I don't care about being in the spot light like many med students.
So I wasn't quiet sure what made so many students here despise me before i even got a chance to open my mouth. maybe they were suspicious of me due to my foreign looks.

anyways, during orientation week i got lost and asked random students about the way.they didn't even care to hear the name of building i was asking about they just turned me away so rudely and glared at me.
almost everyday in this uni I was harassed, glared at, even bullied in some instances. I kept ignoring it everyday and tried to focus on the good things and the good people in my life. but year after year as i grew stronger so did the harassment.
I tried my best to keep a positive attitude until I couldn't anymore I reached a breaking point specially after breaking up with my boyfriend. I struggled with concentration and studying I scored so bad in most exams, i was too afraid to go to uni or leave my home cause i also get harassed very often in the streets. I was working so hard and doing the best i could but unfortunately i failed one subject, the test was oral and the doctor was so rude and told me i was a bad student. when i told students about the questions i got and my answers, they all said he doesn't like the country i come from and many students tried to complain about him in the past.
after this incident things kept getting worse, there was this one student who said things about me that weren't true to one of my classmate then she and her friends turned against me, it really hurt my feelings because i really liked my classmates i was confused at first i didn't know why they behaved like that, but then i realized that dumb student heard a story about the crazy girls who gave me troubles in elementary school and through gossiping my classmate thought i was talking about her WTF!
i tried to put all this behind me and start new and fresh in the new academic year but my mental health is still the same, although i don't cry almost everyday as in the past but now I cannot trust or love anybody in this uni, i lost faith in my colleagues and doctors, I'm constantly waiting for who is gonna do the next move to hurt me, I have crazy thoughts my future teachers which I didn't meat yet will fail me just because they're not gonna like me, and I have no motivation to study anymore.I will be senior next year and I'm so stressed and anxious, I lost hope. after regular harrassment i feel so ashamed of myself and I don't want anyone to see me, I wish i could cover my face or go invisible, I can't stand being in a classroom with my colleagues i constantly feel they're judging me and want to see me miserable.
I'm so worried I want to start believing in myself again.

I also used to have so many flashbacks about all the harassment I went through. could it be PTSD?? I'm not sure what is it I'm going through.
When I first arrived into this country I couldn't speak the language well But I could undertstand few words.
Most of the Harassments I experiences were:

- Verbal threats (yelling at me to leave their country and I'm not welcomed there)
- insults and racist jokes (they will often look me down and laugh loudly at me and try to make me feel little, just like in TV shows -_-)
- there was one incident a woman randomly pushed me and glared at me
- one time I took public transport and everyone on the bus glared at me I though I was gonna be attacked but good thing I was leaving the next stop
- many times people will skip me on purpose in lines
- people ask me rudely to move on if i didn't notice them and blocked their way
- people always made me feel like I'm polluting their country, they look at me as if I were the devil :(
- one time there was this creepy man who was talking nonsense and touched my hand in the bus I felt uncomfortable and tried to move away and I noticed some girls in the bus looked at me like I was a s*** (I'm against shaming women and using such words but I couldn't find a better way to describe the look in their eyes)
- one time a man randomly yelled "Wh***" at me
- some teachers in school often treat me differently than my colleagues

and all that just due to the fact I'm a foreigner here.

I wonder if this is something many people experience when they are abroad or is it something wrong with that place I'm in.
I know I'm not perfect but I strongly believe there is nothing noticeably wrong with me either, I manage to make friends with good people, I'm not rude to anyone, I try to keep a straight face in public and don't stare at people for no reason.

I just want to know how to cope with such a thing, it's insane!!!!


sorry I didn't mean to make it too long
I am so so sorry for what you are experiencing. It seems that the country you went to is not tolerating of other cultures. :(

Is the student body not that diverse? I suggest you talk to an authority about these things so focal people who bully you can be sanctioned. You guys are in med school for crying out loud, not kindergarten.

This angers me because I have been bullied too, albeit for different reasons. You can message me if you need someone to talk to.

Love to you. 💕
 
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