I wanted to self harm but I couldn't bring myself to do it

[SolFlowersFromExile]

Of all the times I used to have a weakened desire to live, I would often think that I was a terrible person. While I won't say that I have bulletproof self esteem, I will say that sometimes I have such thoughts during dark days. The one reoccuring thought I have is how I am a coward because I was afraid of the pain, even though I thought I deserved it. Although the real question is, am I brave for not doing it or am I a scaredy-cat like I thought I was?

 

[Tawny]

You don't deserve it, you deserve to care for yourself, for your body. You deserve to not feel like this.

I'm glad you had enough self-esteem to not hurt yourself.

 

[TheSadnessWillLastForever]

You think being brave is overcoming your fear of pain but the real bravery is being able to find ways to cope that doesn't hurt you. So I believe you are brave for not doing it, and you should be proud of yourself for staying SH free

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

if you hurt yourself and it hurts are you weak or strong?

 

[bracknelson]

Look if you are thinking about hurting yourself but you couldn't so there might be two things first, you fear to get pain second, you think there is no solution to hurt myself and you leave this thought.
So my opinion is, Yes you should give pain yourself by doing exercise, go to the gym, do boxing with a punching bag, start a faster running as this pain is much better than the pain you think.