I want to relapse

Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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My goodness you just came home and now school. The good thing as I have read your posts you will do just fine. I sure appreciate all your pictures and know that I think you are very talented. School will be fine no fears love and hugs Jules.
Yes came home Saturday.. had 1 day to rest but my parents came and I had to go to my grand parents. So I'm tired..

I can't handle any kind of pressure... And school will do that.. because my exam is next Thursday..

My friends don't see my pain and struggle.. they think it is too much and don't want to deal with that.. I know they don't mean it like that but I feels like they don't care.. you know..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Did call they crisis team today because I couldn't handle everything anymore.. they told me to try the app calm harm. IDK if it works.. but I can try.

My feelings are not gone.. still feel like SH.. I know nobody wants me to but I can't handle the shit today..

When I come home today I will be alone for the rest of the night because j has work to do.. so there is no one to help me..

🤬 I hate this feeling
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Did self harm:cry:
I can't handle school anymore
My coach for my internship is the teacher I hate the most. I need to work in a group with people in my class I hate...

I really want to die right know..
 
Z

Zoe1

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im so sorry sweetheart,
im not sure giving you an app was enough help
is there a counsellor at school

I always thought the Netherlands was a really progressive place with these things
like the way they treat drug addicts is better than here
and with mental illnesses they have I think
special farms for them go and get well by looking after animals

another idea is to write a letter to your doctor
because you might need more help than just an app

:loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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im so sorry sweetheart,
im not sure giving you an app was enough help
is there a counsellor at school

I always thought the Netherlands was a really progressive place with these things
like the way they treat drug addicts is better than here
and with mental illnesses they have I think
special farms for them go and get well by looking after animals

another idea is to write a letter to your doctor
because you might need more help than just an app

:loveshower: :loveshower: :loveshower:
Yes I know but that was because I didn't want to commit suicide. So they weren't worried I guess..
 
Z

Zoe1

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well this is why I write letters though
and I have also got an advocate now these days
because its not good enough to wait until the person
does something serious to get help
which is what happened to me
although I didnt realise it at the time

:hug5:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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I didn't understand it either.. but it is what it is.. I'm not that important so they don't care I guess..
 
Z

Zoe1

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they are probably just short of resources
as they are here
but I have found there are people out there that do care

can you do a search for mental health advocacy in your area ?

:love:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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they are probably just short of resources
as they are here
but I have found there are people out there that do care

can you do a search for mental health advocacy in your area ?

:love:
I don't know what that means 🥺🙄
 
Z

Zoe1

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n yeah actually I just did a search and cant find it

I will email my own advocate here
and see if she can help find out

an advocate is a bit like a lawyer
but she would go with you to clinic reviews and stuff
and go for coffee and chat
which lawyers dont do

:hug5:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Today school was horrible.. better
n yeah actually I just did a search and cant find it

I will email my own advocate here
and see if she can help find out

an advocate is a bit like a lawyer
but she would go with you to clinic reviews and stuff
and go for coffee and chat
which lawyers dont do

:hug5:
I don't have money for something like that. And the need to find out what my problem is first..

Because I'm convinced there is something wrong..

I tried to talk to my best friend today.. didn't go that well.. she switched to an other conversation topic.. so today is only failing..
 
Z

Zoe1

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well friends will do that, they dont have the skills to help you
it doesnt mean she dont care

ive just written to my advocate about it
I didnt mention your name
just asked her about advocacy in Holland

you need someone to represent your rights

🧡
 
J

Jules5

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I have never been to the Netherlands I would sure love to see pictures you take. I know the pressure must be terrible just getting back from holiday and then right back to school. I do not think I could jump that far. You must be young yet-as when you get older Life has to work out more comfortably.

I was falling apart just trying to get my son signed into high school here. Notarize this, do that and now do this-drove me nuts. My son came from a private school of only 75 students to a school with 3000 students-so far he is doing good but I can tell he is stressed-he will not eat breakfast because he thinks he will have to go to the bathroom while at school. Lol
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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well friends will do that, they dont have the skills to help you
it doesnt mean she dont care

ive just written to my advocate about it
I didnt mention your name
just asked her about advocacy in Holland

you need someone to represent your rights

🧡
I know she can't help but she doesn't listen either.. she doesn't want to know..
 
Z

Zoe1

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I dont think its that she doesnt want to know

if you needed open heart surgery
your friends and family would not be able to perform it

and this is open heart surgery
its a very specialised job ...

:hug5:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Messages
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I have never been to the Netherlands I would sure love to see pictures you take. I know the pressure must be terrible just getting back from holiday and then right back to school. I do not think I could jump that far. You must be young yet-as when you get older Life has to work out more comfortably.

I was falling apart just trying to get my son signed into high school here. Notarize this, do that and now do this-drove me nuts. My son came from a private school of only 75 students to a school with 3000 students-so far he is doing good but I can tell he is stressed-he will not eat breakfast because he thinks he will have to go to the bathroom while at school. Lol
Screenshot_2019-09-02-17-56-15-315_com.miui.gallery.jpg
 

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Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
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Messages
506
Location
Netherlands
I dont think its that she doesnt want to know

if you needed open heart surgery
your friends and family would not be able to perform it

and this is open heart surgery
its a very specialised job ...

:hug5:
Why I only told that I was depressed. Nothing about sh of wanting to die.. just that I was feeling low..

I would understand if she told me.. I wouldn't ignore it and act like I didn't hear it..
 
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