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I want to relapse

sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,465
Location
London
Like every other time you have to ride it out some last minutes some last days stay strong dude just going through some touch shit ride it out you can do it:peace:
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
Justafriend if you are using alcohol to medicate yourself
you can use the AA programme
they will counsel you for free

:hug5:
I normally don't drink at all. No drugs, no sigarets no nothing. But dream about it every night. Sometimes I get drunk but not that offten. So no problem there.

Still never tryed sigarets and drugs. Really want to at this point.. but I'm fast addicted to shit. So it's something I can't do..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
Like every other time you have to ride it out some last minutes some last days stay strong dude just going through some touch shit ride it out you can do it:peace:
I write a lot but it doesn't help. It gives me only more ideas to do shit to myself and fantsy them in my mind.

I dream about it every night. The shit that I can do to myself to fuck myself up. I don't know what to do anymore..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
My day couldn't get worse.. I God banned from an other website.. without warning.

I never did something wrong... Now they shut me out on the only place right to this place where I can talk to people.. they don't give a shit about you.

Don't they think about the next thing what will happen if you ban someone from a save place.. it goes fk wrong man.. 😣😣😣

Need to ... Need to ...
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
My necklace that I got from my best friend 5 years ago broke... It was a necklace that reminded me to stay strong and stay alive. A promises I made 5 years ago..

It means so much to me.. I'm crying my eyes out..
Feel like hope is gone.. I know how stupid that sounds. Like no necklace is going to save you..
But it was my reminder that I do matter and don't need to do shit to myself.

It feels like a promise is broken.. idk why it hurts that much..
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,057
Hey your in an emotional state and your a bit ill, that's why it hurts. I don't know about SH but I did try and destroy myself with street drugs for a lot of years to deal with the pain of my shitty childhood and we have a saying in recovery there is no such thing as an ex-addict just an addict who doesn't use any more. You can beat this my friend. I want to read your book when it's written.
 
H

HauntedWitch

Guest
I notice that when it gets dark my anxiety starts kicking in and my thoughts go dark.. does anyone have the same thing?
It sounds as if you have SAD. I think I used to have that many years ago, and so I started keeping bright lights on all the time and the SAD symptoms went away.

Now I am just the opposite; I feel calmer with the darkness.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,830
Location
Nowhere
SAD is also from nutritional deficiencies
I think D3 in particular

:love:
 
H

HauntedWitch

Guest
My necklace that I got from my best friend 5 years ago broke... It was a necklace that reminded me to stay strong and stay alive. A promises I made 5 years ago..

It means so much to me.. I'm crying my eyes out..
Feel like hope is gone.. I know how stupid that sounds. Like no necklace is going to save you...
Oh no, it doesn't sound stupid to me at all. I am so sorry to hear about your necklace!

I know what it's like to lose a valued piece of jewelry. The necklace I lost was a family heirloom and I still feel a sense of sadness to this day when I think about it.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
Oh no, it doesn't sound stupid to me at all. I am so sorry to hear about your necklace!

I know what it's like to lose a valued piece of jewelry. The necklace I lost was a family heirloom and I still feel a sense of sadness to this day when I think about it.
It's just a piece of you that broke down. Something that was with you to the hard times. Something that gives you strength.

It broke my heart
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
886
Location
Netherlands
Something I wrote today.

Waves as high as the mountains.
Rumbling down the beach. It looks like a soft blue blanket. You touched it but than you feel the power. The hidden power inside. The secret of the wave.

It is strong, powerful and before you know it pulls you under. You try to swim but you know it's pointless. Your run out of breath and begin to see the light.

You hear a gentle voice. It's not your time my child. You open your eyes and there you are. At the beach where it all started. The voice still echoing through your mind.
 
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