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"I want to ... live!"

Visionary

Visionary

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
19
Since this is the "Getting Your Life Back!" section of the forum. I thought I'd comment a bit about what I feel about "life" and getting it back.

I've known it to be the case that a lot of people feel so low or depressed etc that they feel that life itself is so terrible. They would have said the opposite word of what I put in the title.

However, I personally, have come to an understanding. My so called life is morbidly dull right now. I don't wish all the time for the grave. Nor do I want things to continue in the manner that they are. Rather, I actually want to live. That means, I want joy, happiness, bliss, excitement. I crave to enjoy life. :dance:

I understand that there will be bad points in life, but I still would like to say that "I lived".

Life is not merely about surviving day to day. Life should be truly lived. That is, it should be enjoyed. This is what I want and need.

Just not exactly sure, how. :scratcheshead:
:shrug:

Any ideas? Hints? Tips?
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I totally agree! In an ideal world we would all do more than just exist and survive. It's kind of subjective though and depends on what you perceive as happiness. My fantastic living it up party life (which is totally imaginary of course and just serves as an example!) might be your worst possible nightmare!

I suppose you have to ask yourself what you actually want from your life. What do you think would make your life happier and more fulfilling? What do you enjoy doing? Are there new things you'd like to try?

If you can answer questions similar to these (and probably many others that just are not springing to mind at the moment) then you can begin to find the solutions that could lead you towards realising your wishes.

Thinking about it, this response is probably not exactly what you're looking for but... well, just but...

I hope you get other responses and can soon start living your life to the full
 
Visionary

Visionary

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
19
Thanks, Purple Chaos for your response. :)

One of the major problems making my life dull, is the social aspect. There is not a lot going on. I try to get out and about sometimes, but I don't get enough interaction with people as I want.
Social life is important for me. But I get unhappy when there isn't enough of it happening.

Maybe anxiety plays a part. Resulting in people thinking I'm comfortable being quiet and not so outgoing. Whereas in reality I want to have a laugh or even a general chit chat or discussion. But if they don't see that, they wont know. I probably need to come out of my shell a bit more and stretch my comfort zone.

Everything takes work I guess. Thanks for your input, it has got me thinking a bit more about what I could do, even if I haven't figured it all out just yet.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hey Visionary,

I'm glad it's got you thinking about things. The social side can be difficult to overcome but you obviously have a willingness to tackle this which is great and will help you.

If you're able and you've any interests or there's something you'd like to learn about, are there any local groups or clubs you could join? It's quite a good way to meet new people, practice social skill and broaden horizons.

If you're looking for more interactions then I'd say get involved with people whenever you're able. Maybe just try to strike up random conversations where you can, or join in with someone else's. Sometimes it will work and other times not but it will get easier.

It could be your anxiety but, in my experience, a lot of people are far too worried about how they are projecting themselves to notice.

Anyway, I'd better be off. Good luck with your endeavour. I wish you well. Tata.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
Personally what's helped me is changing my perspective of what life is about.
It's so hard to see when you're depressed but there is so much beauty to be found in the world.
Really little things like seeing a beautiful flower or a appreciating someone's work of art - and taking pleasure in the happiness and success of others. There are lots of these small things which can make a big difference overall.
I think looking too much into the future has the potential to make me panic and ultimately feel very depressed, and so now I just try to take things a day at a time.

I suppose as well is you need to ask yourself what really living looks like to you. I think we each have our own ideas of what "living" looks like, and so while I can sit here and continue to blabber on about the beaty of nature, that might not float your boat.
Maybe take some time to visualise what it is you want to go for?
 
Visionary

Visionary

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
19
Thanks SomersetScorpio and Purple Chaos for you support. I appreciate it. :) :thanks:

I went out today with the plan that I would try and socialise with people. It won't happen if I don't try, I thought.

So, turned out to be not so bad. There were some positives, that I wouldn't have experienced if I had just stayed at home.

I did some general socialising and stuff. Overall positive except for a setback to my mood, when one person spoke out of line to me. :mad: But I tried to not let it show, while trying to take it in a positive way. I.e. by thinking, "THAT person was out of line. Not me. Probably has his own issues. :shrug: I was just being social. So I should just look at it as a hurdle to get past and keep on going".

At least I learned that I should focus my energies on some people more than others, socially. As I get to know new people I will learn who is worth befriending and who is too aloof/mean/whatever to bother with.

I feel that my day was productive overall. :)
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
That's great to hear and a pretty good start, I think.

You're right. When people are rude, off or just not so nice, you have to take a deep breath and try to let it go over your head. Don't take it personally. We all come across people like this. Some are like it because of their own fears and insecurities but are genuinely nice and some are just not nice people.

Carry on with what you're doing and it'll soon get easier. I'm so pleased you had a productive day. Hopefully it'll be the start of many.
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
2,192
Location
East of England
I enjoy going for a walk and starting conversations with strangers. I don't mean that to sound odd, I just mean sitting outside enjoying a Costa coffee and talking to the stranger on the next table. I try to smile a lot when I'm out and about and I honestly think it helps. I have very light-sensitive eyes and I have to squint a lot and people think my facial expression is 'smiling' and I get loads of 'hellos' and smiles back and I love that - even if you lack for close friends it's nice to feel a part of general humanity and occasionally I've met and had conversations with complete strangers who turn out to be amazing and I think that's a huge enjoyment for me in life. If I go into a shop I always have the intention of trying to make the shopkeeper's life a little bit better on that particular day by saying something pleasant or funny. This is how I've survived when I've been at my most lonely.
 
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