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I want to isolate myself from the world

BlackNGreen

BlackNGreen

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2014
Messages
10
This year I've tried to do my best to recover from my depression and anxiety. I try to keep positive, go to school even when sad/depressed/anxious and be social. I think I've made some progress since I'm not crying all the time anymore, but this still feels more like surviving than living. :low:

I'm so tired of trying to recover. I'm tired of going to school and being social. I have this huge urge to to isolate myself from the rest of the world. Lately my anxiety has increased steadily and thoughts of suicide (which I haven't had a lot since last christmas) have come back. Most of the time I feel numb. I'm desperate to find help for myself. I really don't know what I can do to make my life worth living.

My nurse says I shouldn't isolate myself from others. I know she's right, but it really feels like I have no options left. Being around people drains all my energy away so when I get home I just feel like sleeping or staring walls. I've never really isolated myself from world for more than two weeks, but those were the best two weeks of my life. However I know I couldn't isolate myself any longer for various reasons. If I continue like this I'm afraid I'll one day push myself over the edge. I can't see any other way out of this than suicide and I'm so afraid. I'm so tired of trying.

Thank for everyone who read through this meaningless post. I know there's no real solution here, but I wish there was. :cry:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
It's hard because isolating yourself is an effective way to protect yourself.
I know that when i'm at my most vulnerable, staying indoors is actually what I need.
But of course, the situation can easily become a bad habit and leave you feeling lonely and low.

I suppose you've just got to start by going out a little, even if it's for a short while. And give yourself permission to leave if you're not happy.
Is there anything you'd enjoy doing or anybody who you'd like to see? Obviously you're more likely to go out somewhere if you know you want to do it and it's not a chore.

Hope things get better for you soon. x
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
4,861
Introverts feel drained in others company too. I feel your pain but agree with somersetscorpio, short trips to the outside world! Its what I do except for work as that is a necessity, I even enjoy myself sometimes once I get past syking myself up enough to go out.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2013
Messages
4,430
Location
cloud cuckoo land (UK)
I find socialising really difficult -when it involves being with more than one or two people and for any length of time. I do make myself go out though but have to push myself to do so.
My situation is rather different from yours BlacknGreen. I am a widowed senior citizen with no family living nearby. One thing I find I can cope with is to shop every day. I don't drive so a lot of small shopping trips makes the whole business of carrying stuff home easier. Depending on where I shop I have found it quite common to get into conversation with another customer. Might just be "oh I do like this product" but today quite a group of people got chatting. Main reason I think was that today was the first day that Lidl had a lot of their Christmas stuff in and we seemed to need help to find what we wanted
My describing that has probably spooked you but believe me this is huge progress. For a long time I had to force myself to go outside the house at all.
So, why not try to move forwards in small stages in your social life. I'm not suggesting it is easy but it can be done. As for coming home and feeling too shattered to do anything, that is normal if you have been facing a stressful situation.
 
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