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I want to help her



New member
May 14, 2009
I post on another mental health forum and there's a girl on there that I kind of like. I've never really spoken with her properly but I've been on the forums for 15 months so I've read a lot of her posts and I know she's really nice and likes a lot of the same things I do and has the same sort of dreams for the future that I have. I sent her a message a while ago (when I was drunk) saying that I liked her and she replied saying it was really sweet but I don't really know her.

She's really struggling with flashbacks from abuse and other stuff, and I know she's lonely and wants someone to help her and comfort her. I really wish I could help her. I don't know what I could do to help her without actually being there. I would like to actually be there for her but I live nowhere near her so I can't.

What can I do to help? Would it be appropriate to tell her how much I want to help her? I feel like I like her more than I really should and I don't want to creep her out or anything. I don't know what to do :confused:


She's right in saying that you don't really know her. Internet forums and social networking sites can make you feel that you have a greater knowledge or a bigger insight or a closer intimacy with people that isn't actually there.

This girl knows how you think you feel and if she wants your help in particular then she'll ask for it.

You have to follow the same rules for friendships on line as you do offline and you wouldn't approach someone in real life and offer them help if you'd just been listening to the conversations that they have with other people.
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