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I want to have a baby..to the point I feel broken

CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

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Jan 27, 2021
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63
Location
London
I have been fighting with myself, I'm still kinda young, so maybe some mature advice would be good.

Sometimes I feel as if there's only one thing keeping me alive, my want to be a mother.

Everything else seems pointless, nothing else matters to me.

I "fall in love" quickly, but not really for the man, just in hopes I can be a mother soon.

I just don't know what to do, my friend is pregnant and i'm sooooo happy for her, but I have barely been able to function,

After she sent me the scans I have been sitting here, just crying for hours, but honestly I am so happy for her.

I am not sure what this means, why I feel so obsessed, I am not sure where to turn.

Sometimes I think if I don't get pregnant soon, I just cant go on. My life feels like a meaningless ball of grey.

Sorry I probably just sound plain crazy.
 
ht46

ht46

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Nov 10, 2019
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2,349
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Kokomo
i'm probably not the best to advise on this, but I remember when I was on dating sites I saw a lesbian couple looking for a male to donate his baby goo which they advertised on their bio stating they would like a process of multiple interviews and prob an std check first to find the right guy. I don't know if this applies to single women it just caught my attention. And that's if you're saying you want to be a solo mother that's what you need to consider.
 
T

Tam

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Nov 12, 2020
Messages
147
Location
UK
I have been fighting with myself, I'm still kinda young, so maybe some mature advice would be good.

Sometimes I feel as if there's only one thing keeping me alive, my want to be a mother.

Everything else seems pointless, nothing else matters to me.

I "fall in love" quickly, but not really for the man, just in hopes I can be a mother soon.

I just don't know what to do, my friend is pregnant and i'm sooooo happy for her, but I have barely been able to function,

After she sent me the scans I have been sitting here, just crying for hours, but honestly I am so happy for her.

I am not sure what this means, why I feel so obsessed, I am not sure where to turn.

Sometimes I think if I don't get pregnant soon, I just cant go on. My life feels like a meaningless ball of grey.

Sorry I probably just sound plain crazy.
No you are not crazy it could simply be your hormones/bodyclock running havoc, have you talked how you feel with your doctor, you sound like a fantastic friend who just wants to be a mother too💐
 
P

Purpleplum

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nowhere
When you feel this need to have a baby, what needs do you feel you're trying to fulfill?
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,102
Location
Scotland
Hi. You don't tell us how young you are but I guess you have many years in which it will still be possible to be a mum. So there is hope and to have hope is good. I would kind of think you maybe ought to have a good think about what hobbies or interests you have/would like to have. Hopefully maybe one which is done as part of a group. I maybe feel that maybe making friends with somebody before getting together with them would be the way to go as you need to be sure you really like anyone who is going to be the father of your child! Making more friends will.probably mean more introductions - maybe to someone who fits the bill. In the meantime you will be able to help your friend with the baby and get some practical skills. 😊
..
 
J

JeanPierre

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Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
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Location
Southern USA
I can assure you having a child is not going to fix you.
That is not a child's job. Can you afford a baby?
You need to fix yourself first.
It may be old fashioned but it takes two parents to properly raise a child no
matter what popular opinion is.
Best luck dear.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

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Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
When you feel this need to have a baby, what needs do you feel you're trying to fulfill?
Honestly, I am not even sure, I just feel like since i'm adopted, I've just wanted a biological family, I just feel that thats all I want out of life, and not much more.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

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Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
Hi. You don't tell us how young you are but I guess you have many years in which it will still be possible to be a mum. So there is hope and to have hope is good. I would kind of think you maybe ought to have a good think about what hobbies or interests you have/would like to have. Hopefully maybe one which is done as part of a group. I maybe feel that maybe making friends with somebody before getting together with them would be the way to go as you need to be sure you really like anyone who is going to be the father of your child! Making more friends will.probably mean more introductions - maybe to someone who fits the bill. In the meantime you will be able to help your friend with the baby and get some practical skills. 😊
..
Hey thanks im early 20's just feel so conflicted about what im feeling, I feel so depressed like, being a mother is the only thing that matters to me.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
I can assure you having a child is not going to fix you.
That is not a child's job. Can you afford a baby?
You need to fix yourself first.
It may be old fashioned but it takes two parents to properly raise a child no
matter what popular opinion is.
Best luck dear.
Hey Thanks for responding,

I can more than afford a baby, it's not a financial issue, I guess I am not sure what other point there is to waking up? Like the only goal is being a mum, and I just feel slightly obsessed.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

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Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
No you are not crazy it could simply be your hormones/bodyclock running havoc, have you talked how you feel with your doctor, you sound like a fantastic friend who just wants to be a mother too💐
Thank you, I felt soo awful for crying, I felt that maybe im a jealous horrible person, but im soo happy for her honestly, I truly am, I just cant wait to be a mother myself.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
i'm probably not the best to advise on this, but I remember when I was on dating sites I saw a lesbian couple looking for a male to donate his baby goo which they advertised on their bio stating they would like a process of multiple interviews and prob an std check first to find the right guy. I don't know if this applies to single women it just caught my attention. And that's if you're saying you want to be a solo mother that's what you need to consider.
Oh nooo if I start doing this, then I know I have lost my mind for sure, soo obsessed that im half tempted.

I mean, I could easily "trick" a guy into getting me pregnant, but i'd feel better knowing I haven't done anything wrong and that my child has a father, but honestly, not sure if i'd even care about him. As cold and awful as that sounds.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,102
Location
Scotland
Nah! Raising a child is a very difficult job and the young one will reap benefits if the parents are together and love one another. So please don't go that route. I can understand the part about being adopted and wanting your own biological child. My best friend was (she passed away almost 4 years ago) adopted and she was given a lovely life. She had her own pony and parents who doted on her. Her father died when she was around 15 years. She was so adored by her mum. She married 3 times lol! Her final marriage was happy and in total she had 3 children. Well once my friend died, her mother died within a few weeks! Then about 8 months after that her husband died! This left their 21 year old son without both parents. Only telling you that because it was weird how it all happened. So I guess I wonder what your adoptive parents think to your hopes.
Meeting men in whatever way you have been doing is clearly not working for you, is it? So time to change your approach.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
Nah! Raising a child is a very difficult job and the young one will reap benefits if the parents are together and love one another. So please don't go that route. I can understand the part about being adopted and wanting your own biological child. My best friend was (she passed away almost 4 years ago) adopted and she was given a lovely life. She had her own pony and parents who doted on her. Her father died when she was around 15 years. She was so adored by her mum. She married 3 times lol! Her final marriage was happy and in total she had 3 children. Well once my friend died, her mother died within a few weeks! Then about 8 months after that her husband died! This left their 21 year old son without both parents. Only telling you that because it was weird how it all happened. So I guess I wonder what your adoptive parents think to your hopes.
Meeting men in whatever way you have been doing is clearly not working for you, is it? So time to change your approach.
Awh im sorry for your loss, own pony!! Im jealous of that lol

Well honestly, I stop myself for meeting men, I kind of feel like a user, not not for money, for a baby, and I just dont know if that still makes me a bad person or not.
 
J

JeanPierre

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Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
1,936
Location
Southern USA
Hey Thanks for responding,

I can more than afford a baby, it's not a financial issue, I guess I am not sure what other point there is to waking up? Like the only goal is being a mum, and I just feel slightly obsessed.
I don't mean to be harsh. Children's rights are my thing.
If you insist on being a single mother you must make sure there is good male energy such as a trusted uncle or grandfather around said child.
You sound like a wonderful person.
 
CenotaphGirl

CenotaphGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2021
Messages
63
Location
London
I don't mean to be harsh. Children's rights are my thing.
If you insist on being a single mother you must make sure there is good male energy such as a trusted uncle or grandfather around said child.
You sound like a wonderful person.

Not harsh at all my older brother means a lot to me, and we are super close so I am happy I have him in my life.

Thank you for saying I seem like a wonderful person, means so much to me, I'd usually feel judged for admitting my feelings, but this really feels like a safe space for me.
 
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