I want to end it all

W

wolram

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warwickshire England
#21
I don't hear voices,
But have bipolar with the depression is hell.
I see suicide in a whole different light now,knowing that yes I had been fortunate in the past with attempts to harm myself. It was this time last I decided that's it I had met a brick wall and knew I can't carry on.
Someone could see what I was going to do and intervened making the decision to put me under the MHA
The horrible tragic thing is that any of us can make this decision not knowing that actually things really can get better. I now am relieved I didn't end it it just hits me that a year on I am doing well and indeed I may not be here from a snap decision
Its worth hanging in there
hi megirl.
It is good to know you are now doing well, I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth, I was brave today and went to work witch involves meeting a lot of people, the last time I did that was at church and it bought on a fit of depression because of my voices and I thought people were judging me.

All the best Wollie.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,093
Location
England
#22
Hi,
I'd really advise seeing your psychiatrist as well as using the forum for support.
Take care
 
M

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#23
Thanks, Wolram
Sounds like you've done well going to work.
Hope you can get those symptoms managed better,life can be better than this you deserve to get as much support as you can.
Its great you've found the forum,:hug:
 
daffy

daffy

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Dec 16, 2007
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hiding behind the sofa
#24
Hi wolram sorry to hear your struggling. I went thru something similar last year. Eight years of voluntary work and then I couldn’t cope with people around me. I loved the work and it did me good, but in the end it was too much and I needed a break. It’s good that you’ve got the church in your life, I was floundering and a bit lost for a year. But I’ve now started a new volunteering job , it’s taken a while to pluck up courage but am glad I did it. Are you seeing your pdoc about your suicidal thoughts because you may need a bit of extra help, maybe even talking about it may be of help to you
 
W

wolram

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warwickshire England
#25
Thank you mayflower, megirl and daffy.

You guys are really great, I plan to see my phyc soon may be he will change my meds.
 
M

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,922
Location
NZ
#26
You will get there, I know it all takes time, just remember you deserve all the help you can get,put yourself first you are number1
x
 
L

LouiseMN

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
234
Location
Minnesota
#27
Major Depression is like hearing your own bad voice, not "voices" per se but just as bad as the thoughts are suicidal.