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I want to do it

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TheLilly7891

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Jan 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
United States
I know how bad it would be if I preceded to self harm myself. Sometimes, though, I will gaze at the kitchen tools and imagine it coming in contact with my skin.mtge only thing stopping me is the pain. Maybe, just maybe, the pain would distract me from my feeling. Give me a way to escape. Is it bad that I want people to know how I’m feeling? To let people know that I’m not ok? It’s not like anyone would care anyways. Well, they would care. They would distance themselves from me. I would be labeled a freak. A mistake. But would they be so far from the truth? Does the world really need me? Maybe once, just once. Just to see what it would be like. To see if it helps. Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to purposely cause myself pain? I need answers! I need help! I’m tired of people blaming this on my hormones! I’m not ok! Why is it so hard for people to understand? Why must I be isolated from the world? Why must I experience this? I never thought I would want to hurt myself. I never understood why people wanted to do it. Now I do. I’m tired of hiding my emotions! I’m tired of going into the bathroom to cry! I’m tired of putting a smile on my face so people won’t notice. I’m tired of people complaining about how they hate their boss. The worst part is, that I know it is my fault. I know it is my own actions. Maybe if I was nicer I would have more friends. Maybe if I was more assertive people wouldn’t walk over me. Just One small self ham Would it really be that bad? Maybe I’ll do it tonight. I wish I didn’t do it for attention. I just want people to care. I want to be important. I haven’t considered killing my self yet, but I pretty sure if I were to die few people would care. The worst part is that I know compared to others my problems are a blessing. Others try to kill themselves.
 
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ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
90
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
Please don't, if you can, try to avoid it. Find another safer way that will not cause scars.

I understand what you're feeling, a lot of us do, that's why we're here. All the thoughts you're having are exactly the same as the ones I've had.

But self harm is not the way, yh it might help a little at first but truly it causes more problems that you don't want added to your plate later on. You haven't dipped your toe in yet, please keep it that way, its no better on this side of the river.

The people on this forum are absolute saints and guarrantee someone will have some great advice to help you get through this, just stick it out a little longer. You got this.
 
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TheLilly7891

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
United States
Is there any other way to self harm? I have Sh myself. I never realized I’ve been doing it so much. Improbably won’t seriously harm myself. I’ll just stick to Less harmful ways
 
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aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,319
Location
UK
Iknow how bad it would be if I preceded to self harm myself. Sometimes, though, I will gaze at the kitchen and imagine it coming in contact with my skin.mtge only thing stopping me is the pain. Maybe, just maybe, the pain would distract me from my feeling. Give me a way to escape. Is it bad that I want people to know how I’m feeling? To let people know that I’m not ok? It’s not like anyone would care anyways. Well, they would care. They would distance themselves from me. I would be labeled a freak. A mistake. But would they be so far from the truth? Does the world really need me? Maybe once, just once. Just to see what it would be like. To see if it helps. Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to purposely cause myself pain? I need answers! I need help! I’m tired of people blaming this on my hormones! I’m not ok! Why is it so hard for people to understand? Why must I be isolated from the world? Why must I experience this? I never thought I would want to hurt myself. I never understood why people wanted to do it. Now I do. I’m tired of hiding my emotions! I’m tired of going into the bathroom to cry! I’m tired of putting a smile on my face so people won’t notice. I’m tired of people complaining about how they hate their boss. The worst part is, that I know it is my fault. I know it is my own actions. Maybe if I was nicer I would have more friends. Maybe if I was more assertive people wouldn’t walk over me. Just one cut. Just a tiny cut. Would it really be that bad? Maybe I’ll do it tonight. I wish I didn’t do it for attention. I just want people to care. I want to be important. I haven’t considered killing my self yet, but I pretty sure if I were to die few people would care. The worst part is that I know compared to others my problems are a blessing. Others try to kill themselves. Just one cut.

please don't harm yourself. you don't want to do that. it hurts and it could lead to other complications (like it could get infected) and you really don't want that

I think it's really good that you want others to know how you are feeling, because that means we can read about how you are and then offer advice and support

I think you should try to find a distraction. go for a nice walk, or do something with your hands (read a book, do a puzzle, do some jobs around the house that need doing)

hope you check in later. I want to know you are okay

eesh
 
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TheLilly7891

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
United States
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I didn’t end up harming myself. I don’t think I will be able to stop the lesser forms of sh myself, however. I never realized that that was self harm. I’m feeling better this morning. I really needed a place to rant about my life (since I know nobody else would listen). Thank you guys for understanding me. :hug:
 
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ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
90
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I didn’t end up self harming. I don’t think I will be able to stop Minor self harm myself, however. I never realized that that was self harm. I’m feeling better this morning. I really needed a place to rant about my life (since I know nobody else would listen). Thank you guys for understanding me. :hug:
I think it would be a good idea to focus on other ways to get out your frustration/anxiety and bad thoughts, there is a good thread at the top of this forum page on ways to avoid self harm/other things to do when you want to self harm I think it would help to look through that if you haven't already.

Even minor self harm I would say is also not good but then again I would engage in trichotillomania out during panic attacks for years without realising that was a form of self harm. So I'd be a hypocrite to say more.

But I have since managed to find a way to stop doing that so it is possible, it will just take a bit of time to get through this but you can do it ❤❤
 
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TheLilly7891

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
United States
Today I was so stressed with everything that I marked my right hand. Now, i self harmed in a small way. Then, I took a hand lotion and used the bottle to mark my skin, though, it left a long raised bump on my left hand. I feel so guilty! Everything was just to much. I feel as if I’ve let everyone on this forum down. Now, my right hand hurt and I feel terrible.
 
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daffy

daffy

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Staff Note

We request that members be respectful of the needs of other members, and forum visitors, to be in a safe environment. Please do not share specific details of harmful actions in connection with your self harm or eating disorder. Instead please use general terms e.g. self harm. Also please ensure that you do not promote actions which may be harmful to other people.
 
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aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,319
Location
UK
Today I was so stressed with everything that I marked my right hand. Now, i self harmed in a small way. Then, I took a hand lotion and used the bottle to mark my skin, though, it left a long raised bump on my left hand. I feel so guilty! Everything was just to much. I feel as if I’ve let everyone on this forum down. Now, my right hand hurt and I feel terrible.

aww you didn't let us down

tomorrow's a new day.

you can start a fresh
 
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