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I want to disappear

TinyStar

TinyStar

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
105
Location
England
I keep getting this overwhelming urge to just go somewhere far away from everyone i know. I want to run and disappear. It's not because i am in any immediate danger or anything.
I am just sick of being here and feel like i would be better off away from everyone and everything i know.
I feel like i have no one to lean on or even talk to. No purpose here.
These anxious feelings are telling me to run and get away, with my kids.

But to where I don't know? Not even any solid/ secure plans. Just to pack up a few things and Jump on a train, or plane..( As if I even have the funds anyway) And dissapear, escape from it all.

If i didn't have my kids i would probably try end it all solo but I would never put them through that, Theyr'e the only one's keeping me going.
So instead my mind wants to get away. Leave my home and immediate family. Theyr'e not bad but theyr'e not there either. So Maybe for a short while, maybe forever?

I'm not coping very well right now. And have these really strong insecurities/ dark thoughts as if no one actually cares or understands me..
Does anyone else ever have these feelings? And how do you deal with it? It's getting too much now.
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
682
Location
California, USA
Hi tiny!
I'm sorry if my response is short as I'm about to head to bed.

I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time. There are times when I just lay in bed all day and want nothing to do with the world. The world is too noisy sometimes, so I just shut my brain down. You are not alone in how you feel. I always remind myself that "this roo shall past". And it does! Maybe not as fast as we'd like to, but each day is chance for a new beginning. Just take things one step at a time. What do you like to do? How do you show yourself love?

And I'm sorry to ask such a common question, but have you talked to your doctor? I have out off seeing a therapist for so long thi king that I could get better on my own. But, its amazing how mu h it has helped me within a several months of treatment.

I hope you feel better real soon...just know that you have support here and your children loves you.
 
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