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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I want to die..... same shit as before.

  • Thread starter Beautifuldarkfsntasy
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Beautifuldarkfsntasy

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Here, I am posting again. I know there's so much "belief" in this forum that this is a good thing, but who cares anyways. I'm still suicidal, and hoping to kill myself soon. I feel exceptionally fucking bad. And I doubt any idiot on the internet is willing to help, or in real life. So fuck this. But I really want to kill myself soon, even more at this point. I am so sick and tired of being alive, and I swear I'm done with these stupid fucking posts that do nothing. Killing myself is easier, thanks for the false hope anyways.
 
PetitPois

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Hi @Beautifuldarkfsntasy :)

What kind of support do you think would make you feel differently? I see from your previous threads that you are very focused that ending your life is the answer to how you feel. I won't write what I may normally have as I know you will have had similar responses already.

Say right now you at least temporarily think about your situation without suicide being an option. If that was the case, what else would or could you do to feel better?

Also what could someone else do that would be helpful for you?

PP :hug:
 
Tawny

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When i was suicidal, i didn't write on forums, i don't know why. I didn't tell anyone but the mental health team nurses and psychiatrist. I was too far gone. The only way i survived was to be given medication that made me sleep.

Eventually the depression went, but then i was left with all sorts of other problems.
 
Tawny

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I have gradually sorted through them on my own. I am glad to be alive because i have had to help other people. These people, they didn't help me, but they have needed me since then. I needed to be alive to do these things and i don't think anyone could have done them as best as i could. I have cared for loved ones who were sick and dying. I have helped the grieving members of the family and also friends who have lost loved ones to cancer and heart attacks.

People die all the time, for other reasons. You could die from something else in a year or ten years, why do it yourself prematurely?
 
Tawny

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Those who continue to live, many are not happy and many don't find life much easier than before, it is just a change in thinking. It is accepting how this feels and why, and having sympathy for your sick brain and your very sad life situation. It isn't fair we had to suffer any of this, but to die, that is such a waste.

You need to get your depression treated, you need looking after, you deserve it. Life is so hard for everyone, and harder for those with mental health problems, whatever the cause of them.

My biggest fear now is to be homeless because i would just give up rather than die now. Life can get so bad, prison, homelessness, but death i don't want to be a dead cold body in a bed in hospital. I don't want to be in a morgue, or be cremated, or have a funeral, not yet. I don't want my poor sad body in a coffin. What a shit end to a difficult life.

I want to see the snow that is forecast for the weekend. I want coffee and cake. I want to sleep in my warm bed.
 
Tawny

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I'm just sharing my story, the rest is your decision.

And i do care, and we do care, because we know how it feels and to lose one of the team is killing inside, because we are all trying to stay alive too, so you cannot let us down.
 
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Beautifuldarkfsntasy

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I'm just sharing my story, the rest is your decision.

And i do care, and we do care, because we know how it feels and to lose one of the team is killing inside, because we are all trying to stay alive too, so you cannot let us down.
Thanks.

Well I’ve been crying for like 2 hours now, and I disagree with the fact that living is better. I’m just looking to end it at this point. I think I’m going to try to do that. I cannot take it. And I have tired a lot o line to find some help for my issues, but people are stupid ignorant selfish. So I don’t believe that. Who cares anyways. If my suffering stops I’ll be better
 
Tawny

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You need to see a doctor

Forget people, this is about you and your life

Nobody else and nothing else matters

You have to be selfish in order to survive
 
Tawny

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If you find someone who cares and loves you, you are very lucky
Their love only seems to go so far, in my experience
Ultimately it is me, myself and I

For me, i wish to have never existed and i cannot make that happen
 
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Beautifuldarkfsntasy

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If you find someone who cares and loves you, you are very lucky
Their love only seems to go so far, in my experience
Ultimately it is me, myself and I

For me, i wish to have never existed and i cannot make that happen
True, but i'm trying to end it.
 
Tawny

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I have thought about you since i first saw your post this morning. This is my third time replying now. I just said to my cat, shall we see how our friend is.

Has somebody hurt you?
 
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Beautifuldarkfsntasy

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I have thought about you since i first saw your post this morning. This is my third time replying now. I just said to my cat, shall we see how our friend is.

Has somebody hurt you?
Eh, a lot of times in my life. A lot of bs in my life. And for me to suffer like this makes me incredibly angry. I haven’t gotten a break. But dying is a nice break
 
Tawny

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Why are you suffering?
What specifically are the problems

1. Traumatic past?
2. Stressful past?
3. Covid?
4. No good healthy relationships?
5. No purpose?
6. Not happy with where you live?
7. Money?

All problems can be tackled
 
B

Beautifuldarkfsntasy

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Why are you suffering?
What specifically are the problems

1. Traumatic past?
2. Stressful past?
3. Covid?
4. No good healthy relationships?
5. No purpose?
6. Not happy with where you live?
7. Money?

All problems can be tackled
I’d say yes to all..... but idk how to tackle my life dude. It’s too hard. I rather die
 
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